Divorce after 15 years of marriage for men. Divorce after a year of marriage or more

I'm a potential ex-husband. 9 years of married life together, 10 years from the moment we met. Two children, girls. This year the eldest is 9 years old, the youngest is 5 years old. She wants a divorce. On my part, there is no betrayal, alcoholism and other “strong” vices. There is normal smoking during working hours, I didn’t smoke at home, my wife never saw me with a cigarette, she only smelled it after a working day. There is still disagreement about taking out significant amounts on credit. He believes that you need to build EVERYTHING in a year or two or three, buy EVERYTHING, and then give it away. At one time I worked as a credit expert, I saw a lot, and I have a negative attitude towards loans of significant amounts. This is where the disagreement lies. After the second child, sex became rare, at most 2-3 times a week, and then sometimes as necessary, either on my part or on hers. This is not enough for her and me. But at the same time, we are both silent and angry at each other. You won’t even get a smile from her for several years, she just demands it. The other day I found old photos from past years, even when the eldest daughter was born and then until about the youngest daughter was 2 years old. In these photos we are still happy. Of course, they quarreled from time to time for various reasons. But I always thought it was important that we put up because we love. Everyone quarrels, but only those who love reconcile. But just like that, out of nowhere, she announced two months ago that she wants a divorce. That she suffered for all nine years. And that he wants to start a new life. With children and without me. And I!? She single-handedly made the decision to destroy my family and leaves me alone. Without children next to me! Of course I was shocked at first. Of course, I took it emotionally. But what do you, wives, expect from men declaring that they want to destroy the family? That they will joyfully jump around you, thanking you for the destruction?! She says that for her this is the beginning of a new life. But we perceive divorce differently. For me this is destruction. Imagine the picture after the explosion of an atomic bomb in the city, these are ruins.
Don’t you think that maybe it’s you who can’t “keep a home.” Often you won’t get a kind word from you, but you keep demanding and demanding.
The more I think about the consequences of divorce, the more painful it becomes. A person has consciousness, these are thoughts at the current moment in time, memories of the past and thoughts about the future. This is probably the very soul that religions talk about. So the rupture creates a deep wound in the mind and it heals with terrible pain. She's pressing. Imagining Her with another woman is even more painful; rage rises. I don’t even know how I’ll behave if I suddenly meet a potential future M. And to realize that the children will be raised by some kind of “left dad” who the mother needs for comfort - brings on weakness, pain and anger at the same time; man, but you want to cry at other times.
And also, why should husbands always give in, even when they are right, and wives do not even want to accept the idea that they should give in to their husbands on some issue.
This state of “she wants a divorce” has been going on for two and a half months now. It's hard, it's painful, it's inevitable... because SHE wants it. The feeling that this is the end.
And yet... I want an official war, so that the law gives the right to shed other people’s blood, so that not only you feel bad, so that you can release all the anger for everything on everyone. And at some point, let there be peace and quiet. 02/20/2015 08:33:57, Sergey198206

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The husband understands that his wife in the morning is not the same beauty as in the afternoon. The wife has already seen her husband not only on a “horse,” but sometimes also “on the horns.” After 2-3 years of marriage or after the birth of a child. Although now the birth of the first child can occur either immediately after Mendelssohn’s march or after more years. Sleepless nights at the baby's bedside, his first teeth and last breastfeeding. The wife is more like a mother hen than an object of sexual desire. Her husband is in the back of her mind, somewhere there... at a second job, in pursuit of hypoallergenic food, or just in the next room, but... as if beyond the horizon. After 7-9 years of marriage. Everything seemed to have settled down, gotten used to it - sex and children, friends and work. But it has settled down and gotten used to it to such an extent that you already want something new - both at home and in your career. However, I’m still afraid to change anything. After 14-16 years of marriage.

Reasons for divorce after 20 years of happy marriage

Public opinion is also on the side of the husband and condemns the wife for missing out on such a good man. Therefore, all young wives should know that insults inflicted on a spouse in the first decade of marriage are not only not forgotten, but turn out to be disastrous for the marriage.

For your porcelain marriage to take place, from the first year of marriage you need to build your marital relationship on love, mutual understanding and compliance with each other. Let me remind you that women are 2 times more likely to file for divorce than men, and 3 times less likely to start a second family than men.

At the age of 40-50 years, the number of available women exceeds the number of potential grooms of the same age. Women need to remember this and not be a generator of conflicts in the family, then you will have the opportunity to celebrate a porcelain, silver, and gold wedding.
That's what I wish for you. Interesting read: Adaptation in a young family. Relationships between spouses.

A story about the relationship between spouses after 20 years of marriage

Attention

Twenty years is another critical age for marriage. After 20 years of marriage, the spouses get used to each other so much that they almost become relatives.

The romance leaves the relationship (or has long since left), the desire has faded, and a habit has appeared. But if the spouses are still relatively young, then their personal desires have not gone away.

Info

It’s just that, as a rule, there is no mutual attraction anymore. In addition, by the age of 40 - 50, a man begins to feel the first signs of the decline of certain functions, which causes panic, and often leads to a desire to make sure that in fact everything is still the same, just his wife, not the woman who causes desire. And a man can go to great lengths, more often with younger women, trying to prove to himself that he is still great.

This is the same “demon in the rib”.

Crisis in family relationships - 20-25 years of marriage. why do men leave their families?

One of the spouses or both suddenly becomes scared - everything has been achieved, nothing new and exciting will happen in life anymore. And the play begins called “Gray hair in the beard, demon in the rib.” Husband: “And all these long-legged girls will never be mine?” Wife: “Am I going to wake up in bed with this beer belly for the rest of my life?” In 20-25 years. The children grew up, fledged and flew out of the nest. Life is smooth, there is enough money, but you don’t want to enjoy life together. Building a family boat can be more interesting than the process of living together. Just like in childhood, while you are building a “house”, the game is very exciting.
As soon as the “house” is built, the game itself fades away. Why? Of course, there are many reasons why a family crisis occurs. To paraphrase the classic phrase taken for the title of this article - each family has its own: 1. Material problems.

What is the main cause of family problems after 20 years of marriage?

For, people’s character deepens with age and therefore character traits that they did not like or were bad become causes of quarrels. But all these disagreements will disappear if they again remember about love and begin to love each other the same way, or respect each other more, or give in... The main reason is love! Habit, as well as the desire to regain your former youth. The 20th anniversary of a family union most often falls when people are 40-50 years old. It is during these years that they feel the approach of old age and the desire to regain youth back. Therefore, you can notice how a woman and a man transform their appearance in order to attract the attention of other people... Plus, added to this is the monotony of life and a thorough knowledge of their partner. I want something new and unknown, which also pushes people to meet others.

Family life

Where would we be without them? Even in a wealthy family there can be endless disputes about what and how to spend money. 2. Cheating on one of the partners. The problem is as old as the hills, but that makes it no less acute and painful.

3. Absence of children, or vice versa, their appearance. For some, the whole meaning of life is in children. And someone dreams of a comfortable life and full of pleasures for themselves personally. The appearance of children changes the usual way of life and thoughts.

Their absence becomes a problem of self-realization for many and a reason for silent pity on the part of others. 4. Cooling of feelings. The husband still loves and wants, but the wife cuts off all hints of sex.

The opposite situation also happens, despite the assurances of sexologists that a man wants it always and everywhere. 5. Boredom, habit, monotony. Every day is like Groundhog Day. The same gestures, conversations, words, deeds. When will anything happen? 6. One of the partners’ own internal crisis.

Married relationships after 15 - 20 years of marriage???

Solid experience - 20 years of marriage. Unfortunately, not every marriage survives to this date. After 20 years of married life, the couple celebrates a porcelain wedding.

This is very symbolic, because porcelain is a beautiful, but rather fragile material and requires careful handling. And living twenty years in marriage is a great merit of both spouses.

But we must remember that marriage during this period of life together is fragile, like porcelain, and requires careful treatment. What happens in the life of spouses who have been legally married for 20 years? If in the first years of family life everything did not work out in favor of the young husband, because the wife had a lot of leverage over him, then after twenty years the situation changes radically. The husband has now matured and become handsome like a man. Even his gray hair makes him look good. The wife has not gotten any younger, and her beauty has diminished. Her gray hair has to be painted over.

Why do people get divorced after 20-30 years of marriage?

Lack of love. The main reason that can lead to a crisis in family life and the preservation of which without love often makes no sense. What to do? Sometimes the only sure way out of a family crisis is divorce.

When you no longer have the strength to endure, you don’t want to make efforts, the spouses have nothing left in common, only mutual claims and reproaches. Many people prefer this option if they have somewhere to go other than emptiness and the unknown. In a situation where nothing in the family can be changed only for the reason that “the hunchbacked grave will correct” and it is impossible to leave, all that remains is to reconcile and endure. But if both spouses have a desire to glue the family boat together, living together can still be a source of happiness. And this requires banal things - patience and work. 1. Don't be silent. Talk, express your complaints and desires to each other, excluding rude words and insults.

Family psychology

Nervous life, stress, childbirth - all this did not have the best effect on a woman’s figure. Physical inactivity, smoking, and alcohol leave indelible marks on a woman’s face. It turns out that with age, the husband has matured, and she has aged.

And fewer and fewer admiring male eyes are directed towards the former young beauty. The spouse's income (as a rule) has now increased significantly, and he has climbed the career ladder. This circumstance increases his value not only in the eyes of his wife, but also of her rivals. In case of divorce, he is now an advantageous groom. He can afford to leave gracefully, leaving everything to his ex-wife. He has the means to purchase his own home. His husband is no longer the timid boy he was in the first years of marriage.

He learned how to beautifully look after a woman, and became skilled in the art of seduction. He has money to take a lady to an expensive restaurant, give flowers and gifts.

Sometimes both husband and wife unexpectedly realize that they have become strangers to each other. And, if the meaning of the couple’s existence was only in children, most likely the marriage will break up. Emotional instability At this age, various complaints about well-being appear. Women are usually worried about the impending menopause, men are scared of “sores” that have fallen out of nowhere. All this is annoying, interfering with calm communication. It is even possible that the irritation accumulated over the years of married life (restrained for the sake of the well-being of the children) will burst out and cover the marriage with an avalanche of divorce. Reassessment of values Why do men leave the family? As mentioned above, men and women take stock of their lives. But men are experiencing this crisis more acutely. Did they make it all? And old age is already on the horizon.

Relationships after 20 years of marriage

But initially they met, fell in love with each other and got married not for the sake of children. Children are just one stage of family life. They come into your life and leave it into their own. And you stay. And the marriage remains. But I can console you - there will definitely be no more crises, and in general - many people dream of freedom all their lives, but when they receive it, they do not know what to do with it. Think about what you dreamed about, what you wanted to do? You now have your whole life ahead of you. This crisis is less deep than the previous one, and with a favorable outcome it can last 1 year, sometimes several years. Crisis in family relationships - 20-25 years of marriage. Why do men leave their families? Children have grown up By this time, children usually already grow up and live their own lives or leave the family altogether. Spouses often experience a related feeling of loneliness.

Family crises do not bypass any family. The main thing is to correctly perceive crises in your family life. Family - there is so much in this word... But not for everyone and not always the concept of family and the values associated with it are important.

When does the moment come when the family becomes not a reliable support, but a burden, or simply does not bring joy? Why don’t you want to: return home from work, talk with your loved one, look forward to the night for passionate solitude? And there’s a lot more you don’t want... When? A crisis in the family can arise at any time - on the honeymoon or after twenty-five years of marriage. But psychologists who know everything conventionally identify several difficult stages in the life of a family. After a year of marriage. The period of falling in love passes, the romantic veil falls from the eyes, the rose-colored glasses fade. Partners finally see each other in their true light, in everyday life and every day.

People start families, but at the same time get divorced. This process has become commonplace in the modern world; it is not surprising that people disagree. Is this good or bad? No one can say for sure what the pros and cons of a divorce are. Some begin to live better, while others, on the contrary, begin to live worse. It is necessary to consider all situations of divorce and understand what the consequences may be, as well as possible causes.

Divorce after one year of marriage

The first situation is divorce after a year of marriage. What can I say? This is one of the most dangerous periods when the risks of divorce are simply maximum. Why is this happening? In fact, everything is extremely simple. People, being enchanted, can run to the registry office after a month of dating. Of course, the entire period when a person is ideal in your eyes lasts a couple of months. Then a lot of problems begin. Now you see all the shortcomings that you can hardly come to terms with. You will likely encounter a number of the following problems:

You will start quarreling endlessly.
Very often disagreements will arise on any issue.
Interest in each other will disappear, as there will be no common topics for conversation or hobbies.

In a word, if a divorce does occur after one year of marriage, do not despair. You made the right decision, since further relationships with the person do not make sense.

2, 3, 5, 10 years of marriage and divorce

Now you can consider four dates, or rather four numbers, indicating when the divorce occurred. A brief analysis of the situation and an explanation of the problems will be provided:

Divorce after 2 years of marriage occurs for the same reason as was described in the case of one year. In a couple of years, people can get to know each other. In the end, their interests may simply not converge, and they will have to take such a step in order to still have the opportunity to become happy in life.
Divorce after three years of marriage – This is one of the first situations. What could have happened and why did people get divorced? Three years is already a long time, so the option with “they didn’t get along” is unlikely to work. What is most likely happening here is simply a change in people and their thinking. Sometimes this happens and it turns out that spouses do not find in each other what they were looking for. By the way, a situation with betrayal is also possible; after three years, sometimes a person gets tired of his relationship with his wife or husband and goes off to start secret affairs. It becomes clear that divorce after 3 years of marriage – This is a common phenomenon that can be found in the case of every tenth family.
What if we consider divorce after 5 years of marriage? This is already a period of time and talking about differences in character is simply stupid. There may be other reasons lurking here. Sometimes people just get tired of living together in terms of constantly having to give in on something. Men often initiate divorce. They experience discomfort, and when children appear, they generally lose control and panic. This is where ideas about divorce come from. Or perhaps one of the spouses simply cheated, which later came to light and everything did not go as planned.
Divorce after 10 years of marriage – it would seem impossible, but is it so? In fact, even such a period cannot become an obstacle to separation. Again, the main initiators of divorce are men. In general, 10 years of marriage means at least one child in the family. Probably, everything is there for happiness. But what can change? First of all, a man may have another woman. This is a very well known and common reason. However, sometimes the problem is that the person has simply changed in character, and he has become uninterested in living together with you.

Divorce after 15, 20, 25 and 30 years of marriage

Now we will consider those moves in living together that, it would seem, simply cannot imply divorce. In reality, too many years of marriage mean children and many difficult situations experienced. In this case, people know everything about each other. But sometimes this becomes the main reason.

Divorce after 15 years of marriage – This is, surprisingly, a pattern. It goes like this. A person, and again, most often a man, simply falls in love with another woman. Although a similar situation can also arise with female representatives, the first option is still much more common. Sometimes the character changes very dramatically and everything in the family goes downhill.
Divorce after 20 years of marriage – This is most likely just some kind of passion of a person for another woman or man. A husband can fall in love with someone younger, and so can a wife. Divorce in this case rarely occurs, since falling in love does not last long, and then everything returns to living together.
Divorce after 25 years of marriage should be something incredible and non-existent, but it is not. Of course, all the reasons listed above can be attributed to this option. However, if you think more broadly, there are several more important lessons to be learned. For example, it happens that people live for 20 or 40 years without love, constantly quarrel, but this suits them and no one is going to change anything. Whether this is good or bad is for everyone to decide for themselves. But you shouldn’t drag out so much time, because it’s better to let the person go so that there is an opportunity to become happy.
Divorce after 30 years of marriage is a very common occurrence among people who have studied their soulmate inside and out. Now their life may seem too boring and monotonous for them. They are trying to change everything through divorce. It should be noted that it is very rarely possible to change something radically. There are even cases when people get divorced, but after a couple of months they move in together again and get married, because they understand that over 30 years they have become the closest and dearest to each other.

The divorce cases under consideration cannot be stereotyped at all. Everyone in the family has their own problems, which become the reasons for divorce. The main thing to remember is that if you live together, try to keep your family together.

Divorce will never make you happier if you are already enjoying life with the person you are married to.