School of foster parents: need or necessity. Training at the school for foster parents remotely and on weekends for adoption and acceptance of a child into a new family

School of foster parents is a relatively new phenomenon. But these programs have already helped a considerable number of children and parents find each other and create new families. What happens during the classes, who attends them, what fears do future parents have, and under what conditions can you take a child into the family? Tatyana Markova, a teacher-psychologist at the District Authorized Organization for Accompanying Orphans and Children Without Parental Care, told Ekaterina Khlomova about this.

What is a “school of foster parents”?

These are classes in which potential parents are prepared to take a child into the family. The presenters talk about the psychology of an orphan, how he will get used to a new family, and the legal aspects of adoption. Parents not only listen to lectures, but also discuss topics that concern them, act out situations given by the presenters, watch videos, participate in brainstorming sessions, and talk with course graduates. As you can see, the main emphasis is on the interaction between presenters and participants. An equally important part of preparation is individual consultations with specialists.

Who comes to these classes?

These are not only young couples who, for example, cannot have children for medical reasons. These are accomplished parents of any age who are raising or have already raised their own children. And adoptive parents who have not taken such courses, but believe that they would be useful. From September 2012, training at the school for foster parents will be mandatory for everyone who wants to adopt a child into a family.

From a legal point of view, is an adopted child equal to one’s own?

There are several forms: the most, let’s say, “easy” form is the guest mode, which allows you to take your child on weekends, holidays and vacations. The rest of the time he lives in an institution. The most “complicated” form (and the most preferable for the child) is adoption. This means that the child is accepted into the family and raised as one of their own. “Intermediate” forms of family life are guardianship (trusteeship), foster family, patronage - here the child is essentially “state”, but lives and is raised in the family. The only difference is the status of the adoptive parent.

Has it ever happened that you dissuaded parents from taking a child?

In classes there is no persuasion or dissuading, because this is work with people’s conscious choices. Our goal as specialists is to tell potential parents as fully as possible about what they can expect after a child joins the family. The courses explain how to behave and where to go if necessary.

And yet, are there cases when it is objectively not worth taking a child?

The motives of potential parents can be very different: to be needed, not to be left alone, to help the child, to realize unspent parental potential. For example, a woman’s child dies and after a short time, not yet having grieved in her own way, she wants to take in an adopted child of the same age and gender. In this case, he will bear responsibility not only for himself, but also for the one in whose place he seemed to have taken. And the child, most likely, will not be able to handle this. A mother, comparing her adopted child with her own, will most likely make a choice not in favor of the first (“I thought he would be like this, but he behaves like this”). Then he has every chance of becoming a scapegoat. In such situations, it is better to delay the adoption of the child.

Apparently, not everyone who went through school decides to take a child?

If a parent at some point says that he is not ready to accept a child, this does not indicate his weakness. This only means that he is not ready now (not in general, but at the moment). It happens that group participants in our classes get rid of the illusions and stereotypes with which they came, some life circumstances appear, and people can change their minds.

What fears do expectant parents have? How do you work with them?

Fears mainly concern the fact that the child will inherit some negative traits of his blood parents. We discuss them, clarify them, and this reduces anxiety among potential parents.

Do dads come often?

In order for a child to get used to a new family, it needs to be flexible enough and for family members to be ready for change. Therefore, the participation of both parents would be ideal. I am glad that now men are more often involved in the process of raising children (including adopted children). Of course, they are skeptical about what is happening, but in the process of work I see that many people’s position changes. Women “fit in” easier because they tend to be more anxious, and the courses are a good opportunity to clarify their concerns and reduce anxiety.

What are the ways to check if a candidate is ready to take on a child?

There are no special moves; we do not manipulate the unconscious of the participants. The work is focused on understanding and articulating the main points associated with the adoption of a child. It is important that people get rid of illusions and stereotypical ideas. Otherwise, there is a high risk of return, which often occurs due to unjustified expectations.

Can parents who have already adopted a child into their family contact you?

Russian and foreign experience suggests that it is important not only to prepare candidates, but also to accompany ready-made families. Participants can always come to us for long-term support or receive one-time consultations.

You can obtain information and directions to study at the nearest School of Foster Parents from the Guardianship and Trusteeship Authorities at your place of residence.

Special preparation of adoptive parents for the adoption process plays a huge role in the modern world. In reality, this position is not so easy to accept. And mainly on a psychological level. Rarely does anyone agree to adoption out of the goodness of their hearts. Often this decision is made for one reason or another. For example, if you have infertility or simply a serious illness that excludes pregnancy and childbirth in principle. So preparing adoptive parents for adoption is very important. If it is carried out correctly, then there will be no problems and the children will not return to orphanages. Adults will know and understand exactly what they are agreeing to.

Duty

Adoptive children are, as has already been said, a very serious decision. Especially if we are not talking about newborns, but about older children. Regardless of the child’s age, parents will have to prepare in advance and prepare for the fact that there will, in fact, be a stranger (not a blood relative) in their home. This is not always easy to do.

Therefore, recently in Russia all candidates for adoptive parents must undergo appropriate training. Special schools are being created for those who are going to take a baby from an orphanage. This is a mandatory process that is enshrined in law. Without the appropriate document on completion of training, you will simply be denied adoption. So it’s worth worrying about going through it in advance.

Courses

Before you engage in adoption, you will have to go to a special educational institution and undergo training there. Without it, according to modern law, you do not have any rights to adoption. So learning cannot be avoided.

The school for foster parents is, rather, a private institution. And such organizations are now located in every region of Russia. You can choose what seems to you the best option. Please note: this is where they will help you find your baby and prepare documents for adoption. This is not so difficult if you approach the problem posed wisely.

Preparing adoptive parents for the process is divided into several courses. As a rule, there are three of them in total. At the first stage, you will be prepared mentally and psychologically for the adoption process. Here they will explain to you that adopted children should be treated like family. Usually this “section” is intended for parents who have not started preparing documents. After listening, you will have time to make your final decision.

The second course is the process of collecting documents, searching for a child and his adaptation in the family. Perhaps this moment is extremely important for both future parents and the baby. After all, if he does not take root, then you will be denied adoption. No one will forcibly give a child to one or another citizen if he himself does not want this. It is important that adopted children feel comfortable in the family. Otherwise, there is no point in the adoption process.

The third course is for those who have gone through the previous steps. As a rule, the school of adoptive parents will finally consider the issues of maintaining the secrecy of adoption, talk about relationships in families with stepchildren, and also talk about the baby’s relationship with blood relatives. Of course, here they will help you figure out how to behave if suddenly the child’s relatives or his parents who once abandoned him appear on the threshold of your home. Very useful course. Sometimes it is thanks to him that many conflicts can be smoothed over.

Legal aspect

Now a little more about how adoptive parents prepare for the adoption process. More precisely, you need to understand what exactly is taught in schools for citizens who are going to take a step-child into their family. As we have already found out, usually the whole process is divided into 3 courses. But during the entire training period, only 4 aspects of adoption are considered. They are basic.

What is it about? The first aspect is legal. Lawyers will communicate with you. They will tell you about the rights of adoptive parents and enlighten you on issues of interaction between authorities during adoption. Also, it is the legal aspect that will help to understand all the material and non-material rights and responsibilities of adoptive families. Do not forget about the requirements that are put forward to candidates for adoptive parents. It may become clear at the initial stage that you do not meet the requirements. Then there is no point in completing the training to the end.

Among other things, it is while studying the legal aspect that they will help you figure out how to adopt a child. Lawyers will tell you about the necessary documents and even help you put together a complete package. It’s very convenient - if you need it, you can at any time get high-quality help from professionals in our difficult task today.

Medicine

The next aspect is medical. It would seem that he is not too important. But in practice this is not the case. It is clear that not everyone can be doctors. And few people will take appropriate courses to provide first aid to citizens (especially children).

Adoptive parents (adoptive parents) will be required to take a course related to medicine. This is also part of psychological preparation. Why? Under certain circumstances, you will be taught not to panic, but to react quickly. What are they talking about here? About how to provide pre-medical care to children, about diagnoses and how to make them (on your own and by doctors), as well as how exactly diseases in children are diagnosed in medical institutions.

This is actually a very useful aspect that everyone should know, not just the adoptive parent. After all, the responsibilities of adoptive parents, as in the case of relatives, include providing the child with everything he needs, as well as monitoring health problems and caring for the baby. You can’t do this without basic knowledge in the field of medicine. Sometimes this section teaches new useful things that are unknown even to native parents with many children.

Psychology and pedagogy

But the next point is key. It is extremely important for adoptive parents. After all, we are talking about the so-called psychological and pedagogical aspect. It is this moment that can be called the real psychological preparation of adoptive parents. This section is given close attention.

Psychologists and, as you might guess, teachers will work with you. This section represents individual conversations that all candidates for adoptive parents undergo. Couples who want to take a baby from an orphanage will have to communicate together with psychologists and teachers.

The staff, in turn, will tell you about all the age-related characteristics of children, about possible crises, as well as how to cope with this or that child’s behavior. Also, during the study of the psychological and pedagogical aspect, issues of family psychology as a whole, dysfunctions and functions thereof will be considered. We can say that this is where guardians (adoptive parents) will mentally prepare themselves for adoption, and also learn how to behave correctly with a “strange” child. It is important to understand how serious the consequences of incorrect behavior can be.

Social aspect

The final area that is addressed when preparing adoptive parents for adoption is the social aspect. Here, again, psychologists will talk to you. Only now will they begin to explain all the subtleties and nuances of the child’s social adaptation in society.

It's no secret that adopted children have a harder time "getting along" with people. Especially if these are older guys. Their social adaptation has many features. And parents will have to know them in order to provide the most comfortable conditions for the development of a new personality. We can say that studying the social aspect is, rather, preparing a newly-made family for “entering society.” This is also quite a useful and important course, which is extremely difficult to do without in the modern world.

Parental responsibilities

Well, the training of adoptive parents (both psychological and legal) can be considered complete after completing a course of study at a specialized school. On average, the process takes about 2-3 months, occasionally six months. Now it’s worth finding out about the rights and responsibilities that you will have.

To be honest, everything here is extremely simple. Both the rights and responsibilities of adoptive parents are exactly the same as those of natural parents. But the responsibility on the former lies much more serious. After all, a child can be “taken away” under certain circumstances. So it’s worth taking a closer look at the responsibilities of adoptive parents, as well as their rights.

What is included in the first category? Raising an adopted child on the basis of mutual respect, love, understanding; organization of general leisure, everyday life, mutual assistance. This also includes care, treatment, systematic visits to medical specialists, protection of the rights and interests of the child, and provision of education at the proper level. If you have any problems with housing or living conditions that can interfere with the healthy development of your child, you must report this to the guardianship and trusteeship authorities.

Our rights

What are the rights of adoptive parents? Responsibilities are something that is already clear. But, as a rule, few people think about rights. In general, they are similar to those of blood parents. What exactly are we talking about?

Adoptive parents have the right to respect, understanding and timely assistance from specialists in certain areas. They also have the opportunity to receive appropriate payments. Adoptive parents are entitled to all child benefits as ordinary citizens with natural children. The main thing is to present adoption documents, as well as a court decision.

Parents (adoptive) have the right to choose their child. They can express their wishes and requirements when choosing a baby. Another feature that you need to know is that you can get complete information about the adopted children as well as their relatives. Plus, you have the right to return the child before a certain date if you do not find a common language.

When it comes to raising children, you also have your own options. You will have the right to use proven and recommended restrictions, as well as punishments to correct your child's behavior. If your child is acting aggressively, you can stop the behavior.

A few more points that not everyone knows about. First, adoptive parents have every right to be informed about how well they are doing in their new roles. True, few people take advantage of this opportunity. Second, you have the right to confidentiality regarding issues that arise in your adoptive family. We can say that no one can talk about some of your features and incidents in public.

Stages of adoption

But how to adopt a child? Getting trained and becoming familiar with all your rights and responsibilities is only half the battle. The adoption process is not that simple if you don't think about it in advance. Although schools for foster parents will help you, you will still have to try hard to complete the task set before us as quickly as possible.

The adoption process itself is divided into at least 3 main stages. The first is collecting documents and training. This is perhaps a rather difficult moment for parents. After all, you will need a huge package of documents. More on them a little later.

The second stage of adoption is finding a child. Also not the easiest step. During this period, parents will have to not only express their preferences regarding the adopted baby, but also communicate with him. Also during this period, the child’s adaptation to the family occurs. A very important point that can impose a ban on adoption. Perhaps the baby will not take root in your house.

The third stage is the trial. There is no need to be afraid of him. It is enough to simply obtain permission from the court for adoption. If the two previous stages have been completed, then all you need to do is show up for the meeting and go through it. In conclusion, you will be given a court decision confirming your rights as adoptive parents of a particular child. There is really nothing difficult about this moment. All the main difficulties and nuances arise before the trial.

Collecting documents

So, now let’s learn more about what documents future adoptive parents need in order to welcome a new baby into their family. Be immediately prepared for the fact that this process is quite labor-intensive. And you will have to try hard to become adoptive parents.

To begin with, you will be required to provide an autobiography. Moreover, we need the life story of each parent. This process is extremely important. You will also need proof of your earnings. A copy of the work record book, as well as documents from the place of work, are suitable here. Usually, Form 2-NDFL is sufficient.

The next point is confirmation of property rights. More precisely, proof that you can provide your child with a place to live. Here you may be required to provide documents on ownership, as well as extracts from the house register. If you are renting a home, you must provide a rental agreement.

Now get a certificate of no criminal record. And a medical report about your state of health. Here you will need to pass a special commission. Do not forget about certificates from a narcologist, as well as a psychologist. If you are married or divorced, please provide the original and a copy of the relevant documents.

Conclusion

So, here we have figured out how adoptive parents prepare for adoption. In addition, all the features of this process are now clear. In Russia, great attention is paid to the training of adoptive parents.

Practice shows that the number of abandonments of adopted children after the introduction of compulsory education for parents has decreased several times. This means that this process is not as useless as some citizens believe. Remember: adopted children can become your own! This is not an easy decision, but if you have made it, try to treat your baby with understanding and respect. Psychological preparation plays an important role. Adopt only when you are mentally ready for it.

Not only Russian, but also global experience speaks of the need to train future adoptive parents. Recently, school for foster parents (SPS) has become mandatory; teachers and psychologists consider this measure not only justified, but also the most correct.

The first thing people who want to start raising a child should start with is to understand themselves, the reasons for such a decision and really assess their capabilities. Especially if applicants want to raise a disabled child who requires special attention and care.

Who and why should undergo training at a school for foster parents?

SRPs are organized by the state for candidates who want to take a minor into family care. A certificate of completion of courses is included in the list of mandatory documents for adoptive parents.

SPR helps foster families unite and reduces the likelihood of a child returning to an orphanage. Secondary failures are very dangerous for children, because they cause irreparable harm to their psyche. It is better to postpone the adoption of a child into a new family than to abandon him in the future.

The legislation obliges persons planning to become an adoptive father or mother to take courses, except for:

who have gone through the adoption procedure or SDP earlier;
relatives of the child (grandparents, brother, sister).

Experts recommend that all future parents undergo training, even if they are not legally required to do so. Adopting a child into a family comes with many difficulties. To cope with them and not return the baby to the orphanage, you need to have knowledge that will help establish contact and smooth out the adaptation period.

It is in the SPR that future parents will be able to objectively assess their strengths and decide whether they can cope with all the difficulties, of which there will be many. In practice, many applicants are eliminated at this stage.

Persons who cannot be admitted to study

In practice and by law, children will not be sent to such families to be raised. That is why “problem” groups of listeners are cut off at the initial stage.

How to choose a foster parent school?

You can view the list of SPRs on the website of the Ministry of Education and Science of the Russian Federation by selecting your region. Points to pay attention to when choosing a foster parent school:

school experience;
teacher qualifications;
form of teaching (full-time, part-time, distance learning, weekend schools);
time of classes and their duration;
reviews from people who have completed the training.

If future parents want to adopt a child with special needs in physical or mental development, it is better for them to undergo training at the institution where such children are kept. Teachers will be able to tell you what diagnoses their students have, what are the peculiarities of care and education.

Some children require special treatment (up to setting a certain speed of conversation, constant repetition of words, etc.), for which the adoptive father and mother must be prepared.

SPR program and features of the learning process

The SPR program has been approved at the federal level and is the same for all regions of the country. Each school can independently decide in what volume and form the material will be presented, however, course topics are approved by the Ministry of Education and cannot be changed.

Educational institutions do not have the right to demand payment for courses. There are exceptions when additional programs are introduced, in which case paid training is permitted.

The duration of training varies - from 1.5 to 2 months, the number of hours - from 30 to 80. Usually classes are held 2 times a week, incl. on weekends.

Main areas of study at SPR:

medical aspects, child care;
legal issues;
child psychology, upbringing and education;
practical sessions with a psychologist.

However, most of the classes are practical. The psychologist helps potential parents understand what the role of the family is in their life, how to cope with adaptation difficulties, establish contact with the baby, and understands common situations. The most difficult thing for candidates is to help the child cope with the consequences of the mental trauma that was inflicted on him before entering the orphanage. The psychologist focuses special attention on this during practical sessions.

Some schools invite experienced adoptive parents who talk about their journey and how they resolved difficult issues. This practice gives very good results. A positive example and real stories inspire applicants or, conversely, provide food for thought.

The form of the educational process is chosen by the school independently. Despite the admissibility of distance and part-time education, not all schools have the technical ability to conduct them. In-person training for adoptive parents is most common.

All data of future parents who wish to attend courses is confidential and cannot be made public. At the end of the training, students must undergo certification and, upon successful completion, receive a certificate of completion of the course.

School completion certificate

Only organizations certified for this type of activity have the right to issue a certificate of completion of the SPR. The document has no validity period, i.e. Having passed the SPR and received a certificate, it can be used in the future an unlimited number of times. If the program has changed during this time, applicants may take additional classes at the same school or receive a new certificate.

What knowledge can be obtained as a result of studying at SPR?

Teachers strive to ensure that students are able to obtain the necessary knowledge at SPR:

awareness of one’s own motives for adoption, why a person decided to take an adopted child into his family;
adequate assessment of one’s strengths and resources, understanding of all risks and difficulties;
general information about raising children, especially adopted children and those with developmental disabilities.

Many listeners do not fully realize what real difficulties will arise when a child adapts to a new family and establishes contact with him. During the courses, teachers and psychologists help you “take off your rose-colored glasses” and evaluate your capabilities in raising a stepchild, helping you understand how to cope with the difficulties that arise.

It is important for members of a complete family to discuss the moments of replacing each other during difficult periods. A parent should have the opportunity to relax, recover psychologically, and receive moral support from a partner.

The main skills that should emerge as a result of visiting the SPD are the ability to ask for help in a difficult situation and the awareness that there is still a lot to learn. The help of a psychologist or teacher may be required quite often, especially at the first stage.

Is it possible to obtain a certificate in another region or country?

Citizens of another state have the right to undergo training at their place of permanent residence. The same applies to Russians who permanently live abroad. Foreign certificates are accepted by domestic guardianship authorities.

If an applicant for adoption of a child lives in another region, he has the right to take courses at the SPR at his place of residence. Moreover, he can study in any region of the Russian Federation for free. The certificate that the student will receive after successful certification will be valid throughout the Russian Federation.

What to do if the guardianship authorities unlawfully require you to undergo the SPR?

If the guardianship authorities unlawfully require you to re-pass the SPR or renew a certificate issued in another region, candidates should submit adoption papers in the prescribed manner. Such actions by the public service are associated with a lack of understanding of the requirements of the law and an unwillingness to take responsibility.

If a specialist refuses to accept a package of documents, you should submit it through the office, by registered mail, or ask for an official refusal with explanations. In most cases, guardianship service specialists explain the legality of their decision by referring to regulations, without bringing the situation to the point of filing a complaint against their actions with the prosecutor's office.

The training course at the School consists of 20 lessons. The duration of the lesson for each topic varies from 2 to 4 hours. At the end of classes, a final interview is conducted.

The classes cover the most important topics for parents:

Basic provisions of the family legislation of the Russian Federation on children left without parental care.
Family as a system.
Family motivation when adopting a child. Family resources and ways to assess them.
Adaptation of the adopted child and the foster family to the situation of living together, incl. direct communication with established adoptive parents.
Prevention of emotional burnout of foster parents.
Features of the health status of children in boarding schools.
The influence of deprivation on the mental and physical development of children. Developmental delays. Compensation options.
The concept of “developmental trauma”. Features of the rehabilitation of children who have suffered separation from their birth family.
The concept of “secret adoption”. How to tell your child about his past.
Collection of necessary documents and interaction with officials.

WE INVITE:

Future adoptive parents and guardians wishing to adopt a child from a boarding school.
Persons wishing to adopt a stepson and stepdaughter.
Families raising adopted children.
Grandparents, grandfathers and other close people of “candidates for...”.

The training will be especially useful for: single candidates, people over 40 years old, people without parental experience, as well as parents who have experienced the loss of a child.

We recommend that candidates who are married or in a long-term relationship come to the training together. General involvement in the preparation process further facilitates the adaptation of the family and the child.