Two ways to learn to distinguish your feelings and emotions from others. Heartache When we suffer, our body mobilizes to survive.

When we suffer, our body mobilizes to survive. This is a well-known reaction: fight or flight! But where does the feeling that we are experiencing another person's pain come from? Where does this powerful impulse come from - to alleviate the suffering of another, as if we ourselves are in pain right now?

At the University of London, several women participating in the experiment were asked to undergo magnetic resonance imaging of the brain at the moment when their husbands were exposed to electric current. Each of them could see in the mirror how her husband's hand was clenching. All the women’s faces reflected the pain that the sight of their loved one’s suffering caused them. The scans showed that the same emotional response zones were activated in them as in people who were actually receiving electric shocks!* The other person's pain became their own. Their brain “appropriated” this pain. These women, bound to their husbands by love, seem to have pierced the membrane that separates “I” from “you.”

The Yanomami Indians, to convey the state of being in love, say: “Ya pihi irakema,” which means: “I am infected by you.” In other words, “something from you has entered me and lives in me.” I am no longer just me, because your feelings have now become mine too. According to the American philosopher S. Langer, under the influence of love, the shell of individual existence becomes permeable.**

Of course, not all people are equally capable of feeling this kind of empathy (women are generally superior to men). This natural brain response underlies our ability to connect with others, which is the essence of humanity in us. Mammals differ from other animals not only in that they feed on mother's milk, but also in the presence of areas in the brain that provide an affective connection between children and their parents. The anterior part of the cingulate cortex has developed precisely so that the baby's cries are completely unbearable for the mother and make it impossible for them to separate. This mechanism provides constant contact with an adult, necessary for the growth and development of vulnerable young mammals.

"Our brains contain a connection that connects us to the joys and pains of others, to the world around us

In addition to our attachment to loved ones, our capacity for compassion (to suffer with another) underlies the calling of a doctor, motivates volunteers to help those in need, and explains the desire of each of us to see our society more harmonious. Our brain structures contain a connection that connects us with the pains and joys of other people, with the world around us.

This connection is what makes us human - separate and connected to each other. Feeling and therefore responsible.

* T. Singer, B. Seymour. "Empathy for Pain Involves the Affective But Not Sensory Components of Pain." Science, No. 303, 2004. ** S. Langer. "Mind: an Essay on Human Feelings". John Hopkins Press, 1988.

The world of empaths consists of feelings, emotions, states and sensations. They are the measure of everything that happens in life for them. Endless streams of sensory and emotional information overwhelm and cover your head. To cope and make your life simpler and clearer, you must, of course, put in a lot of effort and effort, where one of the main aspects is the ability to distinguish your feelings and emotions from those of others. How to do this?

In this article, I want to offer you two ways that basically designed for empaths with an open soul channel. The first is designed for empaths who still do not know how to distinguish their own from someone else’s, and the second is designed for those who already know how to do this, but at the moment intentional listening loses control and begins to confuse his experiences with the experiences of the object of observation.

So the first method is based on cinema. When you watch a movie and experience feelings and emotions, you feel 100% only your own, because at that moment the actors do not convey their experiences to you. The acting, the talent of directors, cameramen and editors have encoded these feelings for you, and this encoded signal includes empathy for you. You fall into the world of cinema, detached from everything happening around you. This gives a certain vacuum so that you can clearly record where exactly your feelings and emotions are located locally. It is important that you do not tune in to reading emotions with your head, but simply immerse yourself in an interesting plot in which your soul resonates. By video, as well as by photograph, you can connect to a person. But our task is the opposite. Therefore, the intention is necessary to simply immerse yourself in the world of cinema.

Take very emotional film, which touches your heartstrings, and start watching. At some point, when you are completely immersed in the plot, pay attention to the place where your experiences arise and clearly remember it, and then quite abruptly get into contact with someone you usually feel good about. And coolly observe where new sensations arise. But be sure not to lose sight of yours. You will definitely notice the difference. For example, I have my own, as if under someone else’s, but yours may be different. In the same way, you can learn to catch the difference in the vibrations of each person, that is, by freeing yourself through cinema, to include dramatically different people. Over time, you won't need movies or anything else for this.

Now the second way. As I said above, it is designed for those who already know how to distinguish their own good from someone else’s, but during intentional listening they lose control and begin to confuse their experiences with the experiences of the object of observation. In fact, when you start listening and studying another person, you just need to calm down, turn off your thoughts and give the amplitude of your experiences the value “zero”. But when you cannot do this and you yourself experience feelings at that moment, at first it is not surprising to confuse.

Therefore, before visiting someone, you need to carefully inspect what is inside you. Remember everything clearly and only after such preparation tune in to another person. Everything seems simple, but there is one catch. While listening, you may react to what is happening and you will have new experiences and you may again confuse and ultimately draw erroneous conclusions. What is really happening and how to deal with it?

You may be confused during intentional listening for two reasons. The first possible reason is that you just haven’t fully learned to distinguish your experiences from other people’s and then it’s better for you to resume training according to your own method or, for example, according to the one I suggested. Actually that's all. Having brought this process to perfection, you will automatically stop confusing yours and someone else’s in any circumstances.

The second possible reason is that during the hearing you uncontrollably connects with the soul of another person, usually in this case you use not only your empathic radar, but also connect to the person, energetically merging with him, and then with his soul. This means that your powers are great, but you have absolutely no control over them. With a controlled process of connecting the substances of the soul, firstly there is no task of listening to it, this is done for help or training, and secondly empath psychic, Those who master these practices are at a fairly high level of understanding and control of their capabilities and will in no way confuse their own and someone else’s even when merging. If you suspect such an uncontrolled merger, you It's better to consult a specialist since you can pose a danger to others and simply must learn to control your own powers.

Another person's pain becomes our own when we join our emotions to what the other person is experiencing while suffering.

A mirror reaction is when the brain automatically “assigns” this pain to itself, practically without separating itself from the other. The distance in emotional exchange is too short...

Is this a feeling of compassion? No!

But, it gives a direct understanding of the feelings of another person. By taking on the pain of others, we are nothing we don’t improve, we can’t help... we sink to the level of someone else’s suffering, instead of raising us to the level of resilience and inspiration.

Compassion is a multifaceted feeling that gives understanding of the feelings of others, understanding of causes and consequences, awareness of oneself and one’s resilience.

Compassion gives strength. Suffering makes a person weak. When we suffer, our body mobilizes to survive. But getting stuck in problems depletes mental strength.

Therefore, the help of kind people who respond to other people’s problems out of pity does not always bring healing, but can drag you into the pool. Many people confuse pity and compassion, not realizing the difference.

Svetlana Oriya, psychologist, commentary on the publication.

*********

Why do we feel other people's pain as if it were our own?

When we suffer, our body mobilizes to survive. This is a well-known reaction: fight or flight! But where does the feeling that we are experiencing another person's pain come from?

Where does this powerful impulse come from - to alleviate the suffering of another, as if we ourselves are in pain right now?

At the University of London, several women participants in the experiment were offered came to life to undergo magnetic resonance imaging of the brain while their husbands were exposed to electric current. Each of them could see in the mirror how her husband's hand was clenching.

All the women’s faces reflected the pain that the sight of their loved one’s suffering caused them. The scans showed that the same emotional response zones were activated in them as in people who were actually receiving electric shocks!* The other person's pain became their own.

Their brain “appropriated” this pain. These women, bound to their husbands by love, seem to have pierced the membrane that separates “I” from “you.”

The Yanomami Indians, to convey the state of being in love, say: “Ya pihi irakema,” which means: “I am infected by you.” In other words, “something from you has entered me and lives in me.” I am no longer just me, because your feelings have now become mine too. According to the American philosopher S. Langer, under the influence of love, the shell of individual existence becomes permeable.**

Of course, not all people are equally capable of feeling this kind of empathy (women are generally superior to men). This natural brain response underlies our ability to connect with others, which is the essence of humanity in us.

Mammals differ from other animals not only in that they feed on mother's milk, but also in the presence of areas in the brain that provide an affective connection between children and their parents. The anterior part of the cingulate cortex developed precisely so that the baby's cries were completely unbearable for the mother and made it impossible for them to separate.

This mechanism provides constant contact with an adult, necessary for the growth and development of vulnerable young mammals.

IN OUR BRAIN IS A CONNECTION THAT CONNECTS US WITH THE JOYS AND TORMENTS OF OTHERS, WITH THE WORLD AROUND US.

In addition to our attachment to loved ones, our capacity for compassion (to suffer with another) underlies the calling of a doctor, motivates volunteers to help those in need, and explains the desire of each of us to see our society more harmonious. Our brain structures contain a connection that connects us with the pains and joys of other people, with the world around us.

This connection is what makes us human - separate and connected to each other. Feeling and therefore responsible.

* T. Singer, B. Seymour. "Empathy for Pain Involves the Affective But Not Sensory Components of Pain." Science, No. 303, 2004. ** S. Langer. "Mind: an Essay on Human Feelings". John Hopkins Press, 1988.

http:// www.psychologies.ru/ observers/servan-shreyber-david/ pochuvstvovat-chujuyu-bol-k ak-svoyu/

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Let's get closer!

Facebook tested the theory of six handshakes (according to which everyone on the planet knows everyone else through just five mutual acquaintances) and has already confirmed the “3.57 theory.”

Those. on average, each user knows each other through three and a half mutual acquaintances.
At the same time, the indicator decreases quite quickly. So, back in 2011 it was 3.74. Everyone who has it less, h eat 3.5, can consider themselves socially active.

The theory of six handshakes was published in 1929 by the Hungarian science fiction writer F. Karinthy. It was first tested by American psychologists S. Milgram and D. Travers in 1969. Then residents of one city were given 300 envelopes, which through their friends and relatives had to be given to a certain person living in another city.

As a result, 60 letters reached the addressee. Stanley estimated that on average each envelope went through five people. Later, the experiment was repeated by scientists from the Department of Sociology at Columbia University using email - then the number of “steps” was 6.6.

To the question: When do we feel someone else's pain... as if it were our own? given by the author Yovetlana Tantsyreva the best answer is Suffering and pain are always a must
for a broad consciousness and a deep heart.
F. Dostoevsky
feel another person's pain -
this is what they don't teach...
They only teach that pain is negative,
and it is associated with guilt and the concept of “bad”...
and that it must be avoided at all costs. .
Someone else's pain is a dirty mongrel.
Don't touch it, baby, what if it's contagious?
Don't iron - you'll get your palms dirty.
For what? Take a different path.
And the child grows up knowing:
It's easier. Live without noticing. .
Why carry someone else's burden?
Share the trouble? I came up with it too!
Figure it out yourself, it’s not me who’s hurting.
I've had enough of my own problems.
And so on: live in peace,
Divide everything into yours and someone else’s. .
They don't notice someone else's pain,
Forgetting one thing: soullessness is not forgiven.
Pilot group
The more this belief is held,
the more sophisticated are the attempts to avoid the feeling of pain...
be it personal or someone else's...
It is logical that by avoiding feeling pain,
acknowledging someone else's pain does not threaten us... (
After all, in order to sincerely acknowledge someone else’s pain,
a person must feel it himself...
that's why empathy (and you either have it or you don't)
so highly appreciated!
it means to feel the pain of another person...
The talent to understand someone else's pain,
accept, treat it with yourself -
rare talent! Let the reckoning
for the great gift is great,
but God helps those talents...
To the best of my ability. Bye bye. .

There is no pain greater than that which lovers inflict on each other...
Cyril Conolly
I remembered the poems of Bella Akhmadulina...
Oh my shy hero
you cleverly avoided shame.
How long have I been playing the role?
without leaning on your partner!
To your damned help
I never came running.
Among the scenes, among the shadows
you escaped, invisible to the eye.
But in this shame and delirium
I walked in front of a cruel audience -
everything is for trouble, everything is in plain sight,
everyone in this role is lonely.
Oh, how you cackled, stalls!
You didn't forgive me for the obvious
shameless of my losses,
my smile is harmless.
And your herds walked greedily
drink from my sorrow.
Alone, alone - in the midst of shame
I stand with slumped shoulders.
But to the heady crowd
the real hero is not visible.
Hero, how afraid you are!
Don't be afraid, I won't give you away.
Our entire role is just my role.
I lost in it brutally.
All our pain is only my pain.
But how much pain. How many. How many!


It would be good to philosophize without guile... .
try not to hurt anyone...
and having caused it, be able to realize it...
and sincerely ask for forgiveness...)
Let me understand someone else's pain
And share someone's joy.
Have salt in words and in life,
But don't annoy anyone.
Smell your soul - don't rot!
Don't get lost in the dead darkness.
Do not trample, do not leave behind,
But leave a mark on the ground! (With)
Great Veronica!!
Happy Great Victory Day!

Answer from 22 answers[guru]

Hello! Here is a selection of topics with answers to your question: When do we feel someone else's pain... as if it were our own?

Answer from Strabismus[guru]
You basically answered your own question in poetic form.... when we have compassion and experience with our hearts.... or similar situations

Answer from Eurovision[master]
when will we experience this ourselves?

Answer from simplify[guru]
When it is the pain of a loved one or loved one.

Answer from Lyubov Lyubimova[guru]
When we love our neighbor (the people around us) as ourselves.

Answer from Yergey Osenenko[guru]
If someone fell on us from the roof of a house.

Answer from Elena[guru]
and I work 24 hours a day, 10 days a month, for a salary...
it's an everyday matter... exactly 365 days a year

Answer from . . [guru]
Compassion is not a feeling; rather, it is a noble disposition of the soul, ready to receive love, mercy and other virtuous feelings.

Answer from Somewhere out there, A.[guru]
Someone else's pain.
If only he were with me.
It pierced like an arrow.
People's suffering
those killed in the war.
Torn to pieces in the fire.
A terrible loss.
Their sincere faith
survived time itself.
The pain of injustice
rudeness and arrogance.
We are all to blame.
The pain of trouble
in which you are away,
but you can't come any closer.
The pain of being alive
and you think not only with your head.
And you are sick at heart.

Answer from Igor Popovsky[newbie]
when this happens to our children.

Answer from Lady[guru]
Mom kneeling at the crib at night
He secretly prays over his sick daughter.
The weak body is losing its strength...
My heart aches with pain: “Lord, have mercy! »
This quiet babble is louder than the cry of childbirth -
A wounded swan hits the water with its wing.
She covered her child with wings:
"Death! Go away, hateful, and don’t tear where it’s thin!
Don't wave your scythe over my blood;
Go barefoot along your paths.
I carried it under my heart.
I gave birth to her... What can I do now?
You leave the child. Do you hear? For God's sake,
Take me, but don't touch her! »
There is no love in the world higher than a mother's...
Children grow up and go into their own world,
And they don’t remember how they got it from their mother,
And sometimes they don’t know pain and sorrow.
“Daughter, dear! Be happy yourself!
You will find out about everything when you become a mother...”
Yuri Kuryanov

Answer from Marina Sinkina[active]
When we have the ability to pass it through OUR heart.

Answer from Sweetie[guru]
Then, when we are able to sympathize, feel other people's pain (this is a gift) and are open to such feelings...

Answer from Alexander Chiglintsev[guru]
When it is similar to something you once experienced, the response is called...