If a man plays cold hot. Women's arsenal of "bitchy tricks"

Flirting is a game level of relationships between people, in which a woman tries to please a man. A man also shows signs of attention, and such ping-pong allows people to express sympathy for each other and establish relationships. There is little competent information about flirting, and even less good recommendations that would help you understand where to go in further studying this issue. Therefore, we have tried to collect here all the cream of the crop on this topic and present it to you in an interesting and accessible way.

1. Play like children The psychologist Eric Berne wrote best about the gaming level of interaction in the book “People Who Play Games, Games People Play.” According to his theory, it is possible and necessary to play from the position of a child. Precisely the Child, not the Adult or Parent. Through play, the Child learns about the world, trains to interact, explores the boundaries and limits of what is permitted. The game also satisfies basic needs - exploration, study, interest, contact. 2. Determine sensual hunger The desire to like, attract attention and flirt is based on sensory (sensual hunger). Each of us needs a certain amount of attention, glances, “strokes.” And an important criterion for using flirting is the level of this hunger and everyone’s personal appetite. Feeling the need for “stroking”, tenderness, affection, a person becomes more social and sexual, which gives a further impetus to the realization of the “basic instinct”. Therefore, sensual hunger helps you play and flirt with more confidence and variability. 3. Learn the features and rules of the game Like any game interaction, flirting assumes that the players know the map of the area and the rules. Each specific situation has its own context, but the unwritten rules are simple: knowing the end goal, pleasure, excitement, caution, choosing the right partner for flirting and ensuring your own safety in case something goes wrong.

4. Use subtle energies According to metaphysics, the world works on the principle of resonance. The emotional and energetic state you are in is of great importance for the beginning of flirting, as, in principle, for the beginning of everything in our lives. It is better to play with positive vibrations and a good mood. According to the boomerang principle, what you send out into the world comes back to you. 5. Pump up the lower chakra The best flirts are women who are good with sexuality, and this is an indicator of the development of the lower chakra of Svadhisthana (sexual, gender chakra). She is responsible for sexual energy and attractiveness, magnetism, energy level, sociability, positivism, as well as sex and money. Thanks to the energy of this chakra, a person seeks pleasure and exhibits sexual and sensual activity. 6. Study body markers The important and basic thing to start with here is your own and your partner’s body language. This is written well and in detail in the book “Sign Language” by the Australian writer Allan Pease. In addition to exploring how your partner's system works, ask someone to act as a mirror for you. This is a storehouse of information about what arsenal you use to attract, how rich and varied, bright and expressive it is. And even better if you are filmed while you are flirting. This way, you will have the opportunity to evaluate your strengths and weaknesses and adjust your flirting technique.

7. Practice speaking silently A delightful technique that develops “bodily” speech. It doesn’t matter who you are training with - a friend, a friend or in a company, one thing is important, to remain silent and with the help of facial expressions, gestures and eye expressions, convey a certain message to another. This could be a message of interest, an attempt to support, to say “I love you” without words, or, conversely, a way to designate your boundaries and territory. The main thing in this technique is to hone your skill of speaking with your body while maintaining complete vocal silence. 8. Having lit a fire, retreat. The man who has fallen on your hook turns on the hunting instinct and you need to play the “victim” position in time. When you feel that your spell has worked, take two steps back and let him take the initiative. Like in a dance, take two steps towards, and then follow him and his rhythm. If you miss the moment, your partner will feel like a mouse in a mousetrap and may run away, afraid of the pressure or simply losing interest. 9. Choose your territory An important condition for successful flirting is the territory in which you play. It should provide freedom of maneuver, but at the same time ensure your safety in case something goes wrong. It is better not to flirt on male territory when your freedom and ability to leave are limited by his will and desire. 10. Adjust the distance Probably each of you remembers the children's game hot and cold. This is exactly what we're talking about, only in relationships. The remarkable philosopher F. Nietzsche wrote that a man remains dependent on risk for his entire life. What a tool to add spice and intrigue to your game. The technique of approaching and moving away is a rather subtle thing, but if you master it, the man will retain interest in you for a long time and flirting will acquire new tones. People who have a harmoniously developed theme of personal boundaries regulate their distance well.

11. Consider polygamy This is about a man's innate desire to possess many women and his interest in variety and new sensations. How does this relate to flirting? Directly, because only with an ever-changing, multifaceted woman does a man feel alive and intrigued. To do this, you need to get to know yourself, discover something new, go deep in your research, and then generously share with a man. You can win the competition only by working on yourself and constant changes. 12. Combine mind and body The Greeks wrote about important combinations of forms of love that lead to specific results. Eros is the soul plus the body. Unburdened by the mind, pleasant, sincere physical contact. Strictly – mind plus soul. Not very bright, but reliable and serious, sincere friendship. Ludus – mind plus body. Pleasant intellectual entertainment for equal partners, where there is no mental suffering and obligations, this is a love-game, where it is easy and fun. This is flirting. Flirting, like any art, needs to be learned so that it is in moderation and you can get exactly what you want - an exciting acquaintance, attention, relationship, interest, or still easy and non-binding sex. We wish you to succeed in this matter and discover new facets and possibilities in yourself and your man.

This game, sometimes called " hot and cold", can be used for fun at a children's party or to give a child a gift or a (sweet) surprise. The essence of the game is that the driver must find the object according to the clues of the other children. In order to make the game more exciting, you can introduce a limit on the search time.

Rules of the game “Hot and Cold”

First, the object (or gift) is hidden so that driving(birthday boy) didn’t see. If this is just a game, then the driver is asked to leave the room for a while or turn away.

• Very cold! (Completely frozen! Winter! Frost-frost!) - means that the search is being conducted in the wrong direction and the driver is very far from the subject;
• Cold- the subject is still far away;
• It's cold again (frost again, frozen again, winter again)- the driver walked correctly at first, but again lost his way;
• Warmer!- the driver finally turned in the right direction;
• Even warmer!- the direction is correct and the driver is moving in the right direction;
• Hot!- the driver approached the object;
• Hot!- very close to the object;
• Very hot! (It’s hot! There’s a fire! You’re burning!)- the object is somewhere very close, you just need to stretch out your hand.

This game can be played without words, for example, when all the children clap their hands, and the closer the driver is to the object, the more frequent the clapping becomes. Or you can organize another, musical, version of the game with the participation of an adult. In this case, the distance from the hidden object is shown using the volume of the music that it adjusts.

Not just one driver, but a team can search, but they must move together, otherwise the hinting players will not be able to signal normally.

GCD topic: “Hot - cold” (experimental activity).

Dominant educational field:"Cognition"

OO integration: “Communication”, “Socialization”, “Fiction”, “Artistic creativity”.

Program content:

1.Teach to determine the temperature qualities of substances and objects.

2. Teach children to analyze and draw conclusions.

3.Consolidate knowledge of geometric shapes.

4.Practise careful painting.

5.Develop curiosity.

Material: containers with water of different temperatures, a bath, paper towels, colored pencils, strips of paper 6x18cm.

1. Game “Guess the riddle”

"Walks around in a white cap

With a ladle in hand.

He cooks us lunch:

Porridge, soup and vinaigrette"

(Cook).

Do you want to become a chef today and cook lunch for the dolls?

To do this you need to say the magic words:

"Turn around, spin around

And turn into a cook."

(Children put on aprons and caps).

Well, now you are real chefs.

But before cooking dinner, what should every cook do? (To wash hands).

2. “Hot - cold” (determination of temperature qualities of water)

I invite the children to look at containers of water. I suggest choosing water for washing your hands, finding out what kind of water it can be(hot, cold, warm);what kind of water should be used for washing hands(wash hands with cold waterunpleasant, hot - you can get burned, you need to choose a warm one);how to determine what kind of water is in the buckets(touch not the water, but the containers, carefully, without putting your hand on the bucket for a long time, so as not to get burned).

Find out with your children why the containers have different temperatures(V They have water at different temperatures, so they heat up differently).Children pour warm water into the bath and wash their hands. Ask the children where to get more warm water if there is not enough of it(pour cold water into a bowl and add hot water).

Children wash their hands while watching the water change. After washing your hands, check the temperature of the containers that contained water: they are the same, since without water the containers quickly cooled down. Discuss this with the children.

5. Reflection.

On the topic: methodological developments, presentations and notes

Borisova L.A. ,Moscow Pedagogical State University, Voloshko I.G. , director of the State Educational Institution Secondary School with in-depth study of the English language No. 1234 Charnetsky S.N., State Educational Institution Secondary School with in-depth study...

extracurricular activities program "Experimental activities of a teacher. Extracurricular activities in 5th grade"

Following the requirements of the new Federal State Educational Standards, our lyceum is participating in an experiment to introduce extracurricular activities into secondary schools. This program contains an explanatory note, a thematic and lesson plan...

If he calls and offers to meet, I will answer: “I’m busy, very busy, even if I want to, I can’t... But maybe in a week it will work out...”. But even if, despite my sad “maybe,” he dials my number again: “Oh, how glad I am to hear from you. Well, of course, let's see you."

This is a favorite technique of female pickup: sometimes cold as ice, sometimes hot as fire. And when a man is thoroughly hooked, then we turn on the bitch option: cold-cold-hot. That's all, you've fallen head over heels in love with a man.

YouTube is filled with videos with similar advice from “relationship experts” and, as it were, psychologists.

No, I do not deny the effectiveness of manipulation techniques. Especially in a man-woman relationship. Hence the demand for various pickup and NLP trainings. Hence the thousands of views of the videos “How to make any man fall in love with yourself.”

I also agree that “the less we love a man, the more he likes me.” After all, these expressions did not come out of nowhere. But alas... The time when a woman throws trick after trick and says “no” is ending very quickly.

If a man sees that a woman is interested in him, and he also likes her, then... If she is an unapproachable fifa, then an adequate adult man will lose all interest after the first date.

And the inadequate one will push ahead, conquering prey.

I have one friend who got married only because a man persistently pursued her. Three years later he achieved it, and a year later they divorced.

Do you know why? Because she didn't care about him at all. She liked courtship and conquest, but not the man himself. He persuaded her, gave her gifts, made promises, and she did him a huge favor - Her Majesty married him.

The conquests are over. An ordinary family life began, which immediately burst at the seams. Because both a man and a woman should invest equally in the relationship so that it develops and pleases both.

Therefore, for me everything is banally simple. If a man and a woman like each other, then the desire to get to know each other should be mutual. This is the only way to build a healthy relationship.

Love comes from the heart. She can't be played. You need to feel it. But the techniques, techniques and various tricks are all falsehood and manipulation.

Do you want to object to me? For example, you know one married couple where the wife has been mocking her husband for several years now, and he, like a dog, jumps in front of her on his hind legs. And he loves her bitch madly.

I'll disappoint you. There is no love in this relationship. Look at their birth charts. She has . Therefore, no matter how she behaves, they will give her a man for this embodiment. But they will give him someone whom she will not love.

Do you think that an adequate mentally healthy man can live with such a woman? No! Only a masochist who gets a thrill when a woman humiliates him. That's why she doesn't love him.

And they were brought together so that they could fully experience their underdeveloped masculinity and femininity. How and where - look at the birth chart. And they will keep them in a relationship until one of them says: “Stop! Enough! I can’t do this anymore!”

So, girls, don’t get carried away with the “hot-cold” and “closer-further” female pickup techniques. If you like a man, if he likes you, don’t be afraid to show your sympathy. Otherwise, sleep through your happiness. The Universe does not offer twice.

And if you really like a man, then take a look. Because there are no secret phrases and tricks that any man is fooled by.

There is a specific man and there are only his specific chips.

Or do you still believe that the phrase “I’m not wearing panties today” will excite any man?

How to Use the World's Oldest Technique to Increase Your Attractiveness

Play hard to get

The rule sounds very simple: we always want what we cannot get. You are probably familiar with the expressions “What we have, we don’t keep...” and “The neighbors’ honey is sweeter...”. Only when we lose something do we realize how valuable it was. And in the same way, we always want to have what does not belong to us.

If you want to drive the girl you like crazy, play hard to get. How to do it? Imagine that you are the main prize in the game. It's up to you to decide how good a girl is for you. And you are the pie in the sky who needs to be caught so as not to cry into your pillow later. I know it sounds corny, but for some reason we always do just the opposite. When we like someone, we begin to humbly beg for their favor.

We do everything to satisfy the slightest whim of the fatal handsome man (spoiled beauty) in the hope that he will love us for this. Of course, caring for another person is always commendable, but there is nothing sexual about it. By doing this, you become easily accessible and ready for anything. And who is interested in a domestic rabbit when you can tame a wild tiger?

If you want to drive men (women) crazy, show that you are not a weak-willed pet. Let him (she) see that you know your worth and that it is not so easy to achieve you. If you feel that your kindness and kindness are being taken advantage of, that you have no hope of reciprocity with this girl (this guy), then leave immediately. She (he) will realize that she can lose you and will value the relationship more.

Remember: you are the best gift in the world, and the right to be near you still needs to be earned.

Become irresistible

It is not enough just to be inaccessible to intrigue a member of the opposite sex. If you constantly pretend to be an impregnable fortress, you can end up living in a forest hut alone and without a mobile phone.

Flirting is a game, and you need to know its rules well.

For the unapproachable game to be effective, you must first pretend that you are approachable. Remember: the more often you meet a person, the more he likes you. This is how the human psyche works: the more often we encounter some influence, the more we like it. True, there is one condition: at the first meeting, Miss (Mr.) Magnificent must like you. And then you need to try to show yourself to her as often as possible. Be approachable early on. Let her see you as many times as necessary to begin to feel sympathy for you. This may take a couple of days or a couple of weeks. Then you can feign inaccessibility. Make it look like you're crazy busy. When she realizes that she can lose you, she will fall in love with you even more. A little more - and she will decide that she cannot live without you.

It's nice to wake up in the morning and find a mountain of diamonds in your bed. But very soon you get used to such luxury and stop considering it something special. But as soon as diamonds disappear from sight, we immediately want to return them back. And when luxury returns, we will value it much more than before. Remember: you are those diamonds.

Limit yourself in time

When you first approach someone, the first thing he/she thinks about is: “How long will she/he be here?” The man hopes that the woman will stay with him longer, the woman becomes suspicious. But both of them ask themselves this question. That's why you should have the correct answer prepared in advance, which is: “Not for long.” But, of course, this does not need to be said out loud.

There are many ways to calm your interlocutor. For example, start a conversation by saying that you only have a couple of minutes, and then you will need to return to your friends, but you really want to ask one question. You can communicate this without words, simply by turning to the side and pretending that you are about to leave. By showing that you have limited time, you achieve two things. Firstly, she (he) understands that you can disappear at any moment and are not going to bother her all evening, and therefore she will not lose anything if she gives you five minutes of her precious time. Secondly, you make it clear that your time is valuable and you are not going to devote it only to her. This awareness has an amazing effect on the psyche. People think that things that are hard to get are always better and more desirable, and they like having the freedom to choose to get what they want. A person hates being deprived of this choice, in this case, the opportunity to communicate with you.

By pretending that you are only there for a minute, you will allow the other person to relax and feel comfortable in your company. You don't expect anything more than a couple of minutes of his precious time. At the same time, you turn on psychological mechanisms that increase his interest in you. Now he is afraid of missing out on his chance to meet you and desperately wants to chat with you. All you have to do is leave at the right time.

Become irresistible

At the beginning of dating, it is important not to upset the balance. If you show your interest too actively, you can ruin everything. The more you try to please a girl (guy), the faster she will get bored. The best thing is to force the object of your desires to look after you, and not vice versa . To create positive dynamics in a relationship, sometimes it doesn’t hurt to step away for a while. You have already taken the first step, shown interest in her (his) person. Now is the time to take a step back to spark interest in you. If earlier you gave her (him) a lot of compliments, now it’s nice to tease: “Oh, you don’t like Kenny Starfighter! We'll have to separate!" Of course, you need to say this in a joking tone and with a smile, otherwise you will be taken for an idiot.

Having pulled away a couple of times in this way, you will notice that the object of your aspirations has become nervous. She will begin to doubt her attractiveness and your feelings for her, and, oddly enough, this will only fuel her interest in you.

If you spent the entire evening assuring a girl that you want to spend the rest of your life at her feet (even if you really want this), then you have made excessive demands on her. Therefore, if you step back a little, you will give her the opportunity to breathe freely and take a sober look at the situation. Realizing that she is free and that you do not demand anything from her, but only give, she will be happy to continue the relationship with you or take it to the next level.

Elastic band trick

Think of relationships as like an elastic rubber band. If you want the desired object to take a step towards you, then first lean back. If she (he) is interested in you, then she (he) will definitely catch up with you. In practice, this means that it will be easier for her to take a big step, such as taking the relationship to the next level, if you first distance yourself a little. If you want to enhance the effect, then first move away - pull the elastic band, and then quickly approach and trust it with some very important secret. In movies, characters always kiss after one of them slaps the other. I'm not asking you to fight. An emotional outburst can be achieved in other ways. I just want to show you that flirting is a game of contrasts.

Two steps forward, one step back

Another way to create positive dynamics in a relationship is to combine compliments with teasing. How to do it? For example: “So you are an oncologist? I really don’t know what to talk to you about now” or “You are not only beautiful, but also cynical.”

If you have set time limits for your communication, you can periodically remind him of them: “What an amazing story. I won’t be able to sleep tonight if I don’t find out how you survived on a desert island, but now it’s really time for me to get back to my friends.” But, of course, there is no need to leave. You just need to turn your body a little, as if you are about to leave, but at the same time continue the conversation: “But tell me, please, were there poisonous snakes there?”

This contrast shower method can also be used to see if someone is really interested in you. Stay sweet and accommodating, but stop flirting for a while. Let him or her decide that he or she misinterpreted your behavior. Maybe you just wanted to chat with him. If he really likes you, he will certainly make an attempt to regain your attention.

Set a date for a new meeting

Will you see each other again? If he is in doubt, make it easier for him by giving him a date for a new meeting. Offer to have lunch together next week. Lunch does not oblige you to anything, you will just have lunch together and go to your offices. If weekends suit you better, suggest meeting in the morning, because at three o'clock you always meet at your best friend's house to watch movies. Of course, he can come too, but it’s not very convenient yet. But until three you are completely at his disposal. It is dangerous to suggest dinner because he has seen enough Hollywood movies and knows what a dinner invitation means.

And if the date goes well, then lunch can smoothly flow into dinner, and a meeting with your best friend can always be cancelled. All in your hands.

Flirting is not a toy

It also happens that they try to test inaccessibility and coldness on you. Some people like to play with other people's feelings. But you are not like that. You act inaccessible just so that people will recognize your true value and become seriously interested in you.

Unfortunately, we often fall in love with those who are unworthy of us and who treat us like trash. She seems to you the most beautiful girl in the world, and you are ready to do anything to have her as yours. But at the same time, you don’t notice that for her you are just a fun toy that helps you kill time while waiting for a better option.

Once you fall into this trap, it is very difficult to get out of it; the more time you spend on a person, the more difficult it is for you to part with him. You've put so much energy into this relationship, and you don't want to lose something that was hard to get. But there is no need to deceive yourself. She (he) is only using you. You deserve better.

Cold-hot

I want to give you a little warning. All the methods of distancing (detachment) that I advised you can only be used at the stage of creating attraction, and not during the period when you are already dating.

You only need an elastic band to stir up interest at the beginning of a relationship, to show that you are a self-sufficient person who is worth getting to know better. But this only works with those you haven't started dating seriously yet. Such behavior will only repel a permanent partner.