How to increase self-esteem, what is self-esteem. How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence for women, men and children

and gaining self-confidence

It is a fact that low self-esteem is harmful to a person as it leads to various unpleasant consequences, and in this post we will look at effective ways to increase self-esteem. The article will be of interest to a wide range of readers, as it contains wise advice that will benefit every person. The methods listed below will also help you gain self-confidence and make your life more positive and harmonious.

Why is self-esteem low?

Because we live in a selfish society, where everyone, striving to be better than the other (or at least to look like that - in the eyes of other people or in their own), tends to “put down” others.

A person lowers the self-esteem of another only because he himself has low self-esteem - and he tries to compensate for this by suppressing others, using all kinds of available methods, direct or indirect. People with normal self-esteem will not make others “lower” or “worse”; they understand that we are all different and each is unique in our own way, and each has its own place and role in life. The idea of "I'm better than someone else" is a sign of being overblown and ignorant, nothing more.

How to properly evaluate yourself?

Before we look at how to increase self-esteem, a few words should be said about proper self-esteem in general. To properly evaluate yourself, you need to put aside your emotions and look at the situation sensibly, connecting. And it happens that a person, having read “clever” articles about increasing self-esteem using various methods of self-hypnosis, begins to imagine himself almost as God, which, naturally, from the outside looks funny at best, and at worst creates even more pressure for the person. problems.

Evaluate yourself wisely. Do not think that you can deceive life with self-hypnosis: the trick may work, but in the end everything will be balanced - everyone will get what they deserve. Losers are those people who in a past life tore themselves a fat piece of the pie, but they tore it from their own future, so now, when the future has become the present, they are left with nothing. People say it right: for every clever nut there is a clever bolt.

Therefore, the best way to increase self-esteem, a reliable and reliable means, is to work on yourself: , by improving in one activity or another and doing good deeds, a person really evaluates himself higher than when he says and does all sorts of stupid things, and therefore receives more according to his deserts. The conclusion is simple: you need to be a good person and do more good, then problems with self-esteem will not arise. The idea that life can be deceived is completely delusional, and it is better to abandon it immediately.

The methods listed below are nuggets of wisdom collected on the Internet.

How to increase self-esteem: 20 ways

1. Refuse any destructive criticism and self-criticism. Destructive criticism is a negative assessment of a person, actions or events, which implies an attempt to impose one’s point of view on the world. Imposition is violence, and life does not like violence, so do not waste your energy on something that will turn against you. If you cannot live without criticism, change it from destructive to constructive, helping to improve the situation.

2. Give up negative thoughts, stop terrorizing yourself with destructive attitudes. Thoughts create our future - what we constantly think about is what we attract. We think about the bad - we attract the bad, we think about the good - we attract the good. Feeding yourself and spreading it around is an effective way to boost your self-esteem.

3. Stop blaming yourself and making excuses. If you did something wrong and you are blamed for it, just admit it as a fact. Why unnecessary emotions and excuses? Yes, I’m guilty, yes, I’ll correct myself. Don't drive yourself into a feeling of guilt and don't look for excuses - it's all in the past. Be in the present and think creatively and positively about the future - this is the most optimal way of thinking for a person.

4. Communicate more with positive and confident people who are not trying to put pressure on you or make you “lower”. Choose or rearrange your social circle, as your self-esteem and self-confidence directly depend on it. They say, “Whoever you mess with, that’s how you’ll gain.” On our website you can- just for communication, or friendship, or maybe something more.

5. Engage in activities you love that bring true joy or satisfaction. If this is not about your work, then you need to find a hobby that will give you the feeling that life is not being lived in vain. By doing something you truly enjoy doing, you gain self-confidence and perhaps even meaning in life, which greatly improves your self-esteem. You can take a free purpose test to understand what activities will bring you success and true happiness, and start doing them. When a person knows his purpose and does what he loves, he lives happily, using his abilities and talents, and he simply does not have problems with self-esteem.

6. Be patient with yourself. By changing ourselves and introducing a new positive model of behavior into our lives, we want immediate reward for our actions, but we should take into account that in the material world the effect is separated from the cause by some amount of time, and reward does not always come immediately.

7. Plan your future. Set realistic (quite achievable) goals for yourself, write down real steps to achieve them and regularly implement them - this is an effective way to achieve success and gain self-confidence. Don’t put it off until tomorrow and don’t let your mind think about more than is really necessary, since the mind tends to think a lot of unnecessary things, doubt and find excuses, “why not do this.” If the mind (and in women, intuition) says “it is necessary” and “it is better this way,” then it is necessary, and exactly that way.

8. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and others. If we have regrets, it means we agree that the person cannot cope with the problem, that life is unfair, and that next time I might be the victim. If you can help a person, help, but do not tune in to the negative wave of sympathy and pity, because you will make things worse for yourself and others. Trying to get pity and sympathy (instead of real help) is a manifestation of a subconscious desire “for others to be no better off than me.”

9. Accept the gifts of fate with gratitude. Very often people think that blind fate sends blessings to people like me - unworthy. Fate never makes mistakes - there is simply a delay in time, and we cannot always track why this or that benefit came to us. When accepting the gifts of fate, continue to do good deeds, share positive things with others, and more and more good things will come back to you. This way of interacting with the world is the most reasonable.

10. Don't be overconfident: “Alone in the field is not a warrior.” Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of wisdom. The weak are embarrassed and lose, and the strong, when they feel that they need support, ask for support, because they themselves never refuse help if it is within their power and does not contradict common sense. We can solve the problems that life puts before us, but no one says that we need to do it alone. On the contrary, interaction with the world around us is the key to success. Find your support - and you will become many times stronger, gain self-confidence and learn to trust the world around you.

11. Love your shortcomings and troubles. Any difficulties and problems make us stronger if we overcome them rather than resist them. Resistance to a situation only strengthens it, because we do not try to accept it, but push it away. Consequently, there is no solution, and the situation can be corrected only by accepting it. Coping with problems and situations that arise will greatly improve your self-esteem.

12. Take care of your body, because these are not clothes that you can change at will at any time. Keep your body clean, treat and prevent diseases. A sick person is always weaker than a healthy one. Why create unnecessary difficulties for yourself? Eliminate them as soon as you find them, without delaying until later.

13. Bring everything to completion, since unfinished tasks reduce self-esteem and self-confidence, reminding us of defeat and weakness. Never quit something halfway - then you will have nothing to reproach yourself with. This is a great way to gradually increase your self-confidence.

14. Don't get hung up on possessions. Any thing that belongs to you can suddenly disappear or break. And the more expensive she was, the harder her loss, and the more this loss will weaken you. Also, the people whom we try to appropriate for ourselves can leave us at any moment, but the dependence remains. Ultimately, and in our use it is only temporary, do not forget about it. So be for what you have, but don't get attached to these temporary things.

15. Stop showing your importance and pretending that you are better than others. If you don't live up to the image you present, others will put you in your place and you will look funny. In addition, with such behavior you will attract someone who wants to compare with you what they usually measure against, and you can lose shamefully, which will in no way contribute to increasing self-esteem.

16. Overcome your fears. Fears are the biggest destroyer of your self-confidence. Try more often to do things that you were afraid to do, but do without nonsense, unnecessary heroism and unjustified risks. It may turn out that overcoming fears is the best way to achieve.

17. Help people, benefit society and set others on a positive wave. This will give you self-confidence; and when you realize that you are benefiting people, you will no longer consider yourself a failure.

18. Act decisively and purposefully, without looking back or worrying about past failures. Concentrate on the goal and boldly go towards it; and when you achieve it, there will no longer be a need to raise your self-esteem.

19. Explore wisdom while trying to penetrate life's most important mysteries(“Who am I?”, “What am I doing here?”, “How does this all work?”) and get answers to these questions. As one grows spiritually, complexes, self-doubt and other problems of material existence disappear.

20. Love yourself now and always. You are a unique person, with a unique set of qualities and abilities, you are an integral part of life, you have a unique role and place in life. God created you this way; If he wanted you differently, he would have made you different. The Creator accepts you exactly as you are at every moment of time, so there is no point in not accepting and loving yourself. Understanding this greatly improves self-esteem, doesn't it? Therefore, never expect that bright moment to come when you deserve your own love, otherwise this moment will simply never come.

Of course, there are other ways to increase self-esteem and gain self-confidence, and they can also be successfully applied in your life. Materials on the esoteric site will help you with this, for example, an article and other similar materials (links to which are given at the bottom of the page, under the article).

Discuss on the esoteric forum :

The only way to realize who you are is to find what suits you.

Discussing relationship problems reduces fear of abandonment.

You are always trying to guess what the norm is. It is important for people with low self-esteem to know and understand that the concept of “normal” does not exist. It is more effective to ask yourself the question: what is really important to you? What is important to your family? The challenge isn't to guess what's normal for you, but to figure out what works best for you and your loved ones.

The first step in overcoming any bad habit is awareness of it. Just watch yourself. Instead of judging yourself, try to get to know yourself by analyzing how you behave. When a person begins to look at himself honestly and without judgment, and can separate himself from his behavior, he is able to change, develop and grow.

Feelings are not right or wrong, they just are. If we consider our feeling to be wrong, then a feeling of guilt is added to it, and this makes the situation even worse. The anger you feel is real. If you decide that feeling angry is wrong and that you should be compassionate instead, it will not help you. You cannot replace one feeling with another.

It is impossible to completely overcome the feeling of loneliness, but there are ways to reduce it. First and foremost, you need to take the risk of opening up to others. The best way to get what you need is to start doing it yourself. If you want to be loved, first offer your love to other people. This is a risk - to be misunderstood, abandoned. But by avoiding risk, you doom yourself to loneliness. When you decide to take risks, you have the opportunity to change. It's not enough to try once. Promise yourself that every day you will little by little engage in communication with other people.

There is a good group exercise that shows that self-criticism is always very subjective. Participants sit in a circle, the task is to free themselves, completely or partially, from those qualities that they no longer want to possess.

If someone likes the rejected qualities, he or she can appropriate them. Usually one participant says that he wants to get rid of his procrastination, and this quality does not have time to reach the center of the circle, when the other already says that he would like to take it, because he, on the contrary, is hyperactive. Someone else says, “I want to get rid of my guilt,” and immediately receives the answer: “I need some of your guilt. I feel too selfish."

This exercise demonstrates that our traits need to be studied. To what extent are they useful to us? How much interference do they have? Obviously, judging yourself and your shortcomings is not helpful. When you decide to be yourself, you have a lot more options.

Overreacting to a minor incident—for example, friends canceling a meeting at the last minute—usually has something to do with our past. Something similar has happened before - once or many times, usually in childhood. The first thing you must do is clearly identify when you become overreactive. How appropriate is your reaction to the circumstances? Is the situation worth overreacting?

If these questions make you feel defensive, then you are indeed overreacting to the situation. The first step towards overcoming such reactions is to recognize their essence and understand what in your past caused them.

Another way is to consciously change your habits. Ask yourself how committed you are to your usual plans. Can you go home another way? Or go to the store on Wednesday, and not on Thursday, as usual? Can you change your plans without getting disoriented? This is your chance to become more flexible. Flexibility in one area gives you the opportunity to develop flexibility in other areas.

Analyze what people are present in your life and what is the essence of your relationship with them. Do you receive as much from others as you give to them? How much stronger or weaker are these people than you? Perhaps if you objectively evaluate your environment, you will see that you give to people more than you receive from them. Then you will have to change your social circle and maintain relationships only with those people who are capable of symmetrical relationships.

Perhaps this happens because you yourself do not allow others to do something for you. You consider yourself strong enough to take care of yourself, but you should give other people the opportunity to be involved in your life.

If you say to yourself day after day, “Why am I staying with this person? Why can’t I give it all up?” - It’s worth analyzing your relationship. People who don't deserve our loyalty are often very critical of us. They often talk about what is wrong with us. Be careful when you hear this - who is the person really talking about? Do these statements truly apply to you, or is this person projecting their own shortcomings onto you?

Pain, sadness or anger can only belong to the person experiencing it. These feelings should not become yours, you can only show empathy and compassion. You may have been dragged into an unhealthy relationship by playing on your guilt. If you are easily manipulated based on this feeling, you begin to think that you owe something to the other person. “He was good to me. He took care of me." Feeling guilty or obligated for these reasons is wrong. You don't owe people anything for supporting you. You are valuable in yourself. If you feel obligated for being supported, you are saying, “I am worthless.”

You will gain self-confidence if you can solve the problems that you set for yourself. The tasks can be simple or complex, but you need to be confident that they are achievable. Things don't always work out. If something works out, it’s great and it didn’t happen by chance, you deserve your success. Reward yourself for completed tasks. Always remember the things you are good at. Don't ignore them. Use them as a foundation to become a whole person. If you don't succeed, you need to get out of this situation and try something new. This shouldn't devastate you.

about the author

Janet Woititz(1939–1994) was the first in the 80s to study the problems of children and relatives of alcoholics. The impetus was my husband's alcoholism. Voititz found that children of alcoholics and children who grew up in single-parent families, as well as families where one or both parents suffered from addictions and phobias, tend to grow up with low self-esteem and have great difficulty communicating with other people. Her book, Adult Children of Alcoholics, became a bestseller and helped launch a movement that became worldwide.

The way a person treats himself “programs” him for further achievements. Self-perception plays a big role in everyone's life, so it should not be overlooked. Basic knowledge about this will not harm anyone, and, most likely, will even be beneficial. They will help highlight problematic issues and, if possible, correct them. The article talks about the concept of self-esteem, its formation, the possibility of change, the types and levels distinguished.

What is self-esteem

Self-esteem is the level of self-acceptance, the ability to critically analyze one's own capabilities. It is inextricably linked with self-love. A person with a bunch of complexes will not be able to experience this feeling until he gets rid of them. Self-esteem affects how easy it is for an individual to communicate with others, achieve goals, and develop. Those who have it too low experience serious difficulties in all areas.

The problem with low self-esteem is that its owners refuse to change. They are often sure that this attitude towards themselves will last for the rest of their lives. This is a misconception, because self-perception is influenced by many factors; it cannot be the same throughout life.

How self-esteem is formed

Its foundations are laid in childhood. After infancy, the child begins to understand the essence of comparisons, and self-esteem appears in his system of concepts. Parents should be careful with statements addressed to their son or daughter. Phrases like “Alina is a better student in all subjects” or “but Dima is already learning a second language by the time he is fourteen” do not motivate children. Rather, such expressions make them hate both Alina and Dima, and sometimes even their parents, who deal a blow to their self-esteem. A child/teenager should not think that he needs to earn the love of loved ones or try to outpace his peers in a contrived race. He needs, first of all, support and faith. On the contrary, praising also does not lead to the formation of an adequate assessment.

Adults who inspire a child to believe that he is the most talented, and that others are no match for him, are doing a disservice. Brought up on praise, even after puberty, incapable of self-criticism. This prevents them from developing and eradicating their own shortcomings. Some of those who at one time received an “overdose” of compliments and flattery become downtrodden and unsociable in adulthood. This pattern of behavior is the result of a combination of parental actions and harsh reality. Understanding that he is not unique in his own uniqueness leads a person to depression and other mental disorders.

In addition, a number of other factors influence self-esteem, including environment(classmates, classmates, work colleagues, relatives), financial situation, education. Many complexes come from school. Victims of bullying spend a long time coping with their fears and are susceptible to phobias for the rest of their lives. Comparing one’s own financial situation with the income of more successful people greatly affects self-esteem. But self-evaluation is not static; it changes throughout life, the level depends, among other things, on the efforts of its owner.

Types of self-esteem

There are three main types. Their names are used not only in psychology, but also in everyday life. You can often hear phrases like “he has inadequate self-esteem.” Classification helps to understand how individuals evaluate themselves, how close their opinion is to objectivity.

Adequate self-esteem- a type that, unfortunately, is characteristic of a minority of people. Its owners know how to treat their abilities sensibly and do not deny shortcomings, trying to get rid of them. In addition, the emphasis is on strengths that are actively developing. Few are capable of adequate self-criticism. Often one can observe two extremes - either too much self-flagellation, or inflated self-esteem.

Radical qualities are signs of the second type of self-esteem, which is usually called distorted(inadequate). Its formation is almost always the result of complexes, obvious or hidden. Often, behind high self-esteem lies insecurity and attempts to appear better in the eyes of others. The understated one is distinguished by the fact that its owner directly broadcasts his own complexes - he talks about them to others, behaves accordingly (stiffness, tightness, difficulties in communication).

There is another type that is common to the majority - mixed. It means that at certain moments in life a person treats himself differently. He is able to adequately evaluate actions/deeds, devote time to excessive self-criticism, and sometimes overestimate his own skills. Unfortunately, most people fail to maintain balance, and such “fluctuations” are fraught with mental problems.

Levels of self-esteem

There are three main levels, as well as types. They demonstrate a degree of self-love, an ability to see both positive and negative traits, and an affinity for balance. The levels are related to the species, but there are still differences, which will be discussed further.

Low

The first one, the least loved by everyone. They try to get rid of low self-esteem in every possible way. There are thousands of techniques that tell you how to deal with complexes, and some of them are effective. Level refers to distorted perception; it is characterized by an inability to praise oneself, underestimation of one's merits, a high level of anxiety, and constant comparisons with others who are more successful. It is easy to offend those who have problems with self-esteem - it is enough to simply joke about them or hint at a lack of appearance/knowledge. Low self-esteem creates a lot of inconvenience. It's really worth fighting.

Normal

One of the indicators that a person does not have serious mental health problems. He knows how to listen to his inner voice, analyzes his own mistakes, and is able to make jokes about himself. At the same time, such a person will not allow her to be insulted, forced to do useless, tedious work, or have her rights ignored. This level is worth striving for, because it is recognized as optimal.

High

The third level is inherent to those who focus on their strengths, overlooking their shortcomings. It is no less dangerous than low. This type of self-perception is not adequate. People with high self-esteem easily ignore constructive criticism. It is difficult for them to leave their comfort zone; they resist it with all their might. Rigidity of beliefs, rejection of others is a big problem. Its danger also lies in the difficulty of recognition. It is believed that someone who vehemently defends his position is strong, confident, and reliable. But there is also the other side of the coin: unshakable beliefs hinder development and prevent the opportunity to learn and try something new.

As a result- self-esteem directly depends on living conditions, upbringing and environment. However, unfavorable factors are not a reason to give up on yourself. With a strong desire, one’s attitude towards oneself can be successfully adjusted, and there are many examples of downtrodden, indecisive men and women turning into liberated, strong individuals. It all starts with awareness of problems, the desire to change for the better and, of course, effort.

Low self-esteem causes nervous tension and stressful situations, which lead to the development of various diseases. Self-doubt deprives a person of joy, prevents him from building relationships, achieving his goals and moving up the career ladder. Therefore, it is vitally important to make every effort, to overcome fear and doubts in order to get rid of complexes and gain self-confidence.

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How can a woman gain self-confidence?

There are representatives of the fairer sex who are not particularly beautiful, intelligent and do not behave arrogantly, but are able to create a special aura around themselves, attracting others to their personality. Their secret is self-confidence and a correct assessment of their merits.

In psychology, the following methods are used to help a woman overcome complexes:

Find something you love. When a person does what he likes and is good at, then he develops and becomes a leader in that area. Those around you will definitely appreciate this and start asking for help, and for such achievements you can praise yourself by giving a high rating.
Remove imposed stereotypes. You should not think that only a person with a higher education can be called smart. Or that only girls with ideal parameters are considered beautiful and successful. You need to live by your own rules and not try to squeeze into what society imposes.
. Confident women strive to be authentic, they don't compare themselves to others and value their individuality. It is important to learn to enjoy your appearance, education, work and teach others to do the same. Don't miss the opportunity to pamper yourself with a relaxing treatment at a beauty salon, new beautiful clothes or the vacation you've been dreaming about all your life. Self-doubt occurs due to the absence of a loved one in a woman’s life, but practice shows that his presence does not solve all her problems if she has not learned to love herself and enjoy life alone.
Consider all your positive qualities. For those who want to increase their self-esteem, psychologists advise keeping a success diary. It will help to achieve stability in personal development, analyze life situations, changes in oneself and form the necessary character qualities. In it you can record past experiences and main periods in life, successes, victories, awards, starting from school times. You also need to set aside several pages to list all your positive qualities and all the obstacles that you managed to overcome to develop your strengths. You should write down all the good things that happened in the past and what is happening at the present time. If you constantly do these exercises, your consciousness will begin to repress all unpleasant events that negatively affected your self-esteem.
Treat criticism correctly. The ability to properly listen to criticism, and not take it with hostility, changes a person’s attitude towards people and helps to show love and attention to others, regardless of their attitude. To be self-confident, a woman needs to learn to laugh at her mistakes and shortcomings. Then she will not see her life only in gray colors and constantly be offended by others.
Have the right social circle. Friends who can support, reassure her of their love and help a girl see all her strengths are a valuable gift in life. .

In order for others to appreciate a person and reach out to him, you must first learn to value yourself. If a girl is able to praise herself and sees her achievements, then those around her will do the same. A woman gains self-confidence if she sets achievable goals and tries to achieve them. It is not always easy to cope with all life situations, but it is important to notice the things that work out and reward yourself for the things you do.

How to get rid of complexes

Raising self-esteem for a man

Increasing self-esteem begins with the process of self-hypnosis. A man must believe and repeat to himself every day that he is a successful and significant person. Over time, he will accept this truth and gain confidence. You can increase your husband's self-esteem with words of praise and gratitude for everything he does for the family.

In addition, to change his attitude towards himself, a man needs to:

1. Set goals in life. Representatives of the stronger sex love to act, conquer and achieve. Defining a goal, working on it and achieving it increases men's self-esteem and level of confidence in their importance.
2. Don’t scold for mistakes. Wrong decisions, unfinished work, a mistake - this is not a reason to torment yourself, but an opportunity to gain experience, work on mistakes and improve.
3. Develop in the mental and physical spheres. Women most often pay attention to smart and athletic handsome men. The interest of the fairer sex in a man has a positive effect on his self-esteem.
4. Analyze your circle of acquaintances. If a person communicates with someone who humiliates him and tries to improve his personal qualities at the expense of another, then he develops low self-esteem. A simple way to avoid this is to stop communicating, and surround yourself with confident optimists who will not drag you to the bottom, will be able to notice good qualities and praise them.
5. Don't compare with others. Everyone lives the way it suits them, has their own priorities and goals in life. You need to have your own business, then a man will have a reason to rejoice, looking only at himself.

The reasons for complexes and self-doubt come from childhood. A person may be haunted by some childhood failures or grievances. If a man is aware of the fact that now he is no longer a little loser, but an adult who leads his own life and is able to cope with all problems, then this will have a positive effect on raising his own spirit.

Help for teenagers

Low self-esteem in teenagers is common. Signs of the existence of complexes in a child are isolation, poor performance at school, loss of interest in life, dependence on the opinions of peers, comparison and imitation of others. The reasons for these phenomena may be puberty, interest and desire to please the opposite sex, to be accepted by others and familiarity with the realities of adult life.

Advice from psychologists to parents to help their child gain self-confidence:

1. Avoid criticism. It leads to the development of low self-esteem and destroys the relationship between children and parents.
2. Don't compare with others. Any comparisons should relate the child's successes or failures to his past achievements or failures. And only for the purpose of praising or finding out a weak point that is worth working on.
3. Do not discuss the teenager with strangers. All words spoken in the presence of a child can make him depressed, deprive him of joy and self-confidence.
4. Help you achieve success. Parents should encourage their teenager to engage in new activities, knowledge and hobbies, and create a favorable atmosphere for development. It doesn’t matter what the result of these new activities will be, the main thing is that he sees the support of his family in his endeavors.
5. Respect his opinion. Being within narrow limits, it will be difficult for a teenager to trust his parents and listen to them, so he should be given the opportunity to choose his own friends, recreation and hobbies. This does not at all indicate permissiveness, but speaks of respect for the rights of the individual.
6. Help with appearance. It is common for a teenager to complain about his appearance, his figure, to compare himself with his idols, people from the cover of a magazine. The task of parents is to help their child look better - take them to a beauty salon, choose a haircut, buy good, beautiful things that will highlight all the advantages. If you have problems with your facial skin and this worries your teenager very much, you can consult a specialist and find a way to solve the problem.

Instructions

The first advice to those who are thinking about increasing self-esteem and confidence: take time for yourself, plan for the future. If it always seems like the whole world is against you, you should listen to yourself. And before you make peace with the world, you have to make peace with yourself. Most often, low self-esteem is the result of ignoring one’s own desires and lack of clear goals. Instead - blurry Manila dreams, “I want a billion or a necklace like a movie actress.”

You need to find time for yourself personally. Calmly think about what is really worth (and possible) to achieve. What doesn’t suit you in the first place, what to get rid of. Then you will understand how to do this. And then - planning, setting immediate and distant goals. And specific, small, but systematic steps towards the goal.

Big goals are unattainable when a person is depressed. As the first, small goals, we can recommend the formation and consolidation of useful habits. To regain self-confidence and increase self-esteem, you need to pay attention to organizing your own life. Healthy sleep, daily routine, five-minute (but daily) exercise, balanced nutrition - these are tools for more efficient human functioning. Trivial, at first glance, advice can significantly improve your well-being, you will have the strength to achieve your goals, and time for personal growth.

It is unlikely that increasing self-esteem, personal growth, and self-improvement are possible without intellectual development. Read books in your specialty, preferably translated ones. Try to develop your hobby; in the new century, this hobby can become a second profession. Read classic literature, memoirs of worthy people who are an authority for you.

A great way to disconnect from constant negativity and self-digging is active recreation. It doesn't have to be mountaineering or cross-country skiing. The main thing is that your vacation is varied and new. This will allow you to change the situation and familiar surroundings. For example: an interesting culinary master class, an author's tour of your hometown, an exhibition of alternative art, or a visit to the opera (especially if the theater was not in honor before). All master class participants and all exhibition visitors are on equal terms. This will allow you to take your mind off the constant comparison of yourself with other people and take a big step towards increasing your self-esteem and self-confidence.

Self-criticism is destructive and will not help improve self-esteem. You can't constantly scold yourself. The energy needed for practical actions is consumed. If a dissatisfied voice habitually sounds in your head, you urgently need to calm down the internal censor. We close his mouth the same way we close a faucet to prevent water from flowing out.

Use meditative practices. Analyze your positive qualities in different areas: professional, family, emotional. Write them down on a small piece of paper and carry them with you. Skim this list often. In a difficult situation, mentally list your advantages, this will help you gain self-confidence.

To set yourself up for tomorrow’s speech (an important conversation, an interview), you can prepare a small individual mantra. Several affirmative phrases listing the best personal qualities and professional skills. Interesting motivational trainings to increase self-esteem and confidence can be found on the Internet.

Listen to yourself, analyze where the main flow of negativity towards you comes from. Perhaps this person himself is internally indecisive, which is why he spreads this emotion around himself. And further. Don't argue with fools. Their opinion hardly reflects reality. It is advisable to spend energy on one’s own development and achieving specific individual results.

It is worth understanding that raising self-esteem and self-confidence is not very difficult. Numerous trainings on the Internet will help you do this, many of them high-quality and free. But the most important thing is to stabilize self-esteem (so that it does not decrease at all). Here you will have to seek help only from professional psychologists.