How to recognize a person’s lies and not become a victim of a liar? Yes, it's not easy, but it's possible. The facial expressions and gestures of the interlocutor can easily reveal him as a deceiver.
Lies have long become an integral part of human life. Everyone resorts to this method, but each for their own personal reasons: to save relationships, to humiliate the interlocutor, to achieve some goal. The article will not talk about the causes of deception, but about its signs. It will help you figure out how to recognize the lie of your interlocutor by facial expressions and gestures.
All people lie - this is a fact, a harsh truth of life that should be accepted. In pursuit of their goals, those around them either hide the truth (at best) or deceive each other (at worst). How to recognize a lie and spot a liar?
In this harsh world, it is very difficult to figure out who is telling you the truth and who is lying. But there are psychological clues that will help expose it.
A person usually does not notice how he behaves during a dialogue. However, according to psychologists, gestures and facial expressions are a subconscious demonstration of true feelings. You just need to learn to recognize them. And then it will not be difficult to expose the liar.
Psychologists say that people who lie try their best to pass off the deception as the truth. Their efforts are accompanied by certain gestures, intonation of speech, and involuntary body movements.
But all people are different, and they also deceive in different ways, in which case how to recognize a lie? Psychology has identified several types of deception and a whole range of signs of a liar.
Here are some of them:
When a person tells a lie, he becomes tense. And despite the fact that he tries his best to hide it, he does not always succeed. The deceiver temporarily loses self-control. His tension becomes noticeable; you just need to observe the left side of his body. It is this side that is an indicator of deception, because our right hemisphere of the brain is responsible for emotions and imagination, and the left for speech and intelligence, therefore, the left side is controlled a little less. And what we want to show to other people is reflected on the right side, and true feelings and emotions will be visible on the left.
Almost every person in everyday life pretends and tries on various masks. Some people are more sincere, while others are used to lying regularly. But you shouldn’t think that no one will ever discover a lie. It is her nonverbal body language that gives her away.
In addition, there are people who intuitively feel when they are being deceived. But, of course, not everyone is given such a gift. How can you guess what a person really thinks? And how to recognize a lie and spot a liar?
The book “Body Language” was dedicated to this topic. How to read others' thoughts by their gestures" Pease Allan.
Here are the typical types of body movements that indicate that a person is lying:
In order to avoid making mistakes in human behavior and making incorrect conclusions, you should study body language. It is necessary to know what body movements a person makes when he experiences fear, self-doubt, boredom, and so on.
You should not draw conclusions based only on the above gestures until the behavior of the person as a whole has been studied.
Excessive pickiness towards an interlocutor towards whom one feels antipathy is often very subjective. And therefore, all his gestures will be interpreted negatively.
In addition, it is easier to analyze the behavior of a person you know, because if something has changed in his demeanor, it will immediately catch your eye. But sometimes there are such skillful deceivers, with high self-control, that it is very, very difficult to figure them out.
Scientists have conducted a number of studies of non-verbal language of communication and concluded that most often people lie on the phone, then, according to statistics, face-to-face conversations follow, but least of all they lie in writing. And this is also connected with the psychological characteristics of a person, because what is written is very difficult to later refute with the words: “I didn’t say that,” “I didn’t mean that,” and so on. It’s not for nothing that there is a popular saying: “What is written with a pen cannot be cut down with an ax.”
Psychology has identified 30 main signs by which one can accurately say that a person is lying:
Of course, one of these signs is not enough to accuse a person of lying; it is necessary to find at least more than 5 pieces of evidence.
If a person is being deceived, at this time his face also changes, and this feature may be noticeable and should be taken into account when communicating with a liar.
Additional information on how to learn to recognize a lie can be obtained by watching a documentary that will tell you how to spot a liar and get to the bottom of the truth:
Each of us wants to be able to distinguish truth from lies. After all, very often we become victims of deception and this is very offensive, especially unpleasant when close and dear people do it. How to recognize the lies of a man who is a husband, fiancé, boyfriend or close friend? But their betrayal or deception is very difficult to identify and even more difficult to survive.
Be that as it may, as the popular proverb says. It is better to know the truth than to live in deception all your life. Each of us has a choice. A lie can be recognized, and, most importantly, you need to do it.
"Everybody lies!" - the main phrase in the series "Doctor House". Paradoxical as it may seem, these words are perhaps the most truthful in the world. And if so, no one can learn how to recognize a lie.
Statistics: 80% of people resort to deception at least once a day. Some people don't even notice it - they lie automatically.
Often lies are harmless, and sometimes useful. For example, when doctors tell hopelessly ill patients that there is a chance of recovery, or the narrator embellishes his story to make more impressions on the listener. But in many cases, deception is committed for personal gain, and if you do not want to become the object of a lie, it is better to become familiar with its characteristic signs.
Imagine that you decide to deceive someone. That is, you have certain information, but you deliberately convey it to your interlocutor in a distorted form or even replace it with other data. In this case, everything happens spontaneously. You need to spend energy not giving away the truth and controlling the flow of deception so that no one catches you. Concentrating on this, it is difficult to control the movements of facial muscles and gestures.
These external signs appear due to an internal feeling of anxiety that you may be discovered, as well as due to the way our brain works. Next we will understand everything in more detail.
To get started, we recommend that you read the material on lying on Wikipedia (opens in a new tab). Pay special attention to types of deception.
You can tell by the expression on a person's face what emotion he is experiencing. But if you try, it is also possible to detect a lie by looking at your face.
In our case, special attention must be paid eyes. Deceivers often look away because... It is psychologically difficult to lie to a person while looking him in the eye. When communicating, it is important to pay attention to which direction your eyes are directed - it is quite possible that your interlocutor is trying to remember something.
Subconsciously, a liar may “close himself” from you. An example of this is covering the mouth (trying to “hide” words), touching the nose or ears. By the way, such people are constantly trying to occupy their hands: fiddling with clothes, removing specks, or twirling something in their hands (a spinner, for example :)).
A change in complexion can also be a sign that a person is insincere. The deceiver may blush or turn pale.
Watching a face and immediately recognizing a lie is a difficult task and requires some experience. Therefore, you can start by listening to what your interlocutor says and how he does it.
A common sign of deception is an answer that repeats words from the question. Example: “Did you break the plate?” - “I didn’t break your plate!”
It’s worth thinking about it if you don’t hear straight answers from a potential liar. In response to the same question about the plate, you may hear something like: “How could I break it?” The answer may contain unnecessary details with gradual distraction from the subject of the question. Experienced liars practice “talking” their interlocutor, taking the topic of conversation in a different direction.
Broadcasting lies is in some way a small test for a person. And due to excitement at these moments, the timbre of his voice may change. This also includes problems with speech construction. Pronunciation, slips of the tongue, syntax - all this should raise suspicions.
Sometimes the deceiver automatically becomes defensive towards you and feels uncomfortable. When communicating, his attention may switch to something else.
If you want to test a liar, try changing the topic of conversation. Your interlocutor will willingly support you in this, because there will no longer be a need to waste energy on deception. If we return again to the issue that is unpleasant for him, we can observe a sharp change in the behavior of this person.
There are logical inconsistencies and confusion in the explanations of deceivers. You can catch him on this by simply asking leading questions.
Interesting fact! According to researchers, the average man lies 1,092 times a year, and the average woman lies 728 times. At the same time, men regret committing deception only in 70% of cases, while women – in 82%.
Liars like to hide the truth by turning the topic of conversation into a humorous direction. In this case, to our question: “Didn’t you break the plate?” you can get the answer: “Hah, flying or what?” Thus, we again do not receive a direct answer, and the topic of the conversation itself is ridiculed and supposedly has become less significant.
When trying to catch a deceiver, you may stumble upon a violent emotional reaction. This protection is especially typical for girls and women. Example: “Darling, weren’t you the one who accidentally spent all the money on my card?” “You’re always accusing me of something!” Do you think I’m such a spender?” The example is exaggerated, but clear: we again see a transition from the topic of the question to another direction, and besides, the one who asked the question begins to feel guilty.
You can study in detail the mechanisms of lies and master the methods of detecting them by reading special books. Authors such as Alan Pease and Paul Ekman, have devoted more than a decade to this issue, releasing a number of interesting works. Among them:
Interesting video about the signs of lying:
Our short educational program on how to recognize a lie is over. It is clear that it is very difficult to notice all the signs at once, and their presence does not always mean that a person is insincere, because he may simply be worried about something of his own. In any case, with the help of this knowledge and your intuition, you can better protect yourself from hanging noodles on your ears.
“Body language doesn’t lie. Even if the body is already in the grave,”
Dr. Lightman, “The Theory of Lies”
In nature, no two people are the same. We are all different. We see, hear and think differently. And we also have different times. Therefore, there is no standard set of lying gestures indicating that we are telling a lie. But if he had, we would have found a way to deceive him. Deception is noticeable when it evokes emotions (excitement, fear or shame). These emotions are conveyed by the language of gestures and facial expressions. But confirmation of a lie must be sought in the totality of facial expressions, gestures and speech.
Lying requires self-control and effort. Tension can be obvious or hidden, but it is easy to notice by looking closely at the left side of the body. It is less controlled than the right one. This is because the left and right sides of the body are controlled by different hemispheres of our brain.
The left hemisphere is responsible for speech and mental activity, the right hemisphere for emotions and imagination. Since control connections intersect, the work of the left hemisphere is reflected on the right side of the body, and the right hemisphere is reflected on the left.
What we want to show to others is reflected on the right side of our body, and what we actually feel is reflected on the left.
For example, if a person is right-handed and gestures a lot with his left hand, this may mean that he is lying, especially if his right hand is used less. Any inconsistency between body parts indicates insincerity.
“The brain is so busy making up lies that the body gets out of sync.” Dr. Lightman, “The Theory of Lies”
The face, like the body, conveys two messages at once - what we want to show and what we would like to hide. Disharmony in facial expressions indicates a contradiction. Symmetry always speaks of purity of intentions. For example, if a person smiles, and the left corner of his mouth is raised less than the right, then, obviously, what he hears does not make him happy - he is feigning joy. It is also interesting that positive emotions are reflected evenly on the face, while negative ones are more noticeable on the left side.
Changes in complexion (pallor, redness, spots) and twitching of small muscles (eyelid, eyebrow) indicate stress experienced by a person and help to identify deception. Tension, which manifests itself in frequent blinking, squinting or rubbing your eyelids, is an unconscious desire to close your eyes to what is happening. With rubbing gestures, our brain tries to block a lie, doubt or unpleasant sensation.
How comfortable or uncomfortable the interlocutor is can be judged by his pupils: their narrowing indicates dissatisfaction, dilation indicates pleasure. And by his eye movements it is easy to understand whether he is going to tell the truth or lie.
If a person averts his eyes, this does not mean that he is insincere. Often the one who looks intently into the eyes, trying only to appear open, is not completely honest.
Unexpectedly, the deceiver’s own nose can give him away. By telling a lie, he unconsciously begins to move the tip of his nose and move it to the side. And people who doubt the honesty of their interlocutor may involuntarily flare their nostrils, as if saying: “I smell something unclean here”.
The nose is generally extremely sensitive to deception: it itches and even enlarges ( “Pinocchio effect”). Scientists have found that deliberate lying increases blood pressure and stimulates the body's production of catecholamine, which affects the nasal mucosa. High blood pressure affects the nerve endings in the nose, causing it to itch. Gestures that somehow involve “rubbing,” such as someone rubbing their eyes, touching their nose, and scratching their neck, indicate insincerity.
When the interlocutor puts his hands in his pockets and closes his palms, these are gestures of lies or insincerity: he is hiding something or not saying anything. Remember children: they hide their hands in their pockets or behind their backs if they have done something wrong.
Hidden palms can be compared to a closed mouth. Experienced salespeople always look at the client’s palms when they talk about refusing a purchase. True objections are made with open palms.
And with a hand covering his mouth, a person restrains himself so as not to say anything unnecessary. Afraid of spilling the beans, he unconsciously tenses his lips or bites them. Watch your interlocutor's facial expressions: a pursed lower lip indicates a contradiction: the person is not sure of what he is saying.
“People lie freely with their mouths, but the faces they make at the same time still tell the truth,” Dr. Lightman, “The Theory of Lies”
The way he sits can also tell a story about your interlocutor. If he chooses an unnatural position and cannot sit down, this indicates that he is uncomfortable with the situation or the topic raised. Liars often bend over, cross their legs and arms, and seek outside support, leaning on some object (table, chair, briefcase). Truthful people rarely change their body position and stand straight when answering questions.
Our speech is no less eloquent than the language of gestures and facial expressions. If you receive an evasive answer to a direct question, accompanied by the expression “to be honest,” then listen to the speech of your interlocutor. It is worth doubting his sincerity when repeating phrases like:
“You said it once - I believed it, you repeated it, and I doubted it, you said it a third time, and I realized that you were lying,” said the eastern sages.
“There are more pauses in a false story than in a truthful one,” concluded Professor Robin Lickley. An overly detailed story is also unlikely to be true - unnecessary details only create plausibility.
A change in the rhythm and timbre of the voice can also give away deception. “Some people are always slow with the next sentence. If they start chattering, it’s a sign of lying,” says Paul Ekman.
When we tell the truth, we use gestures to reinforce what is said, and the gestures match the tempo of the speech. Gestures that do not fall in time with speech indicate a contradiction between what we think and say, i.e. to lies.
Cornell University communications professor Jeffrey Hancock studied 30 college students for a week and found that the telephone was the most common weapon used to cheat. People lie on the phone 37% of the time. This is followed by personal conversations (27%), online messengers (21%) and emails (14%). We feel more responsible for what we write than for what we say.
Outgoing people lie more often than introverted people, and they feel more comfortable lying and persist longer in their lies. Psychologist Bella DePaulo came to the following conclusions:
Men and women lie equally often, but women usually do this to make the interlocutor feel more comfortable, and men - to present themselves in a more favorable light.
Men and women behave differently when they lie. Telling lies makes women feel less comfortable than men.
Scientists have found that a person begins to lie after his thinking reaches a certain level of development, approximately this occurs at the age of 3-4 years.
Lies have long become an integral part of every person’s life. When telling lies, people can be guided by different motives: deception can be purposeful, aimed at humiliating a person, or it can be unintentional, to save relationships between people.
In this article we will consider not so much the reasons for lying, but its signs. You will learn how to activate your internal “lie detector,” which will help you recognize by a person’s facial expressions and gestures whether he is lying or telling the truth.
The face is the mirror of the soul.
Marcus Tullius Cicero
Of course, you can use a device such as a lie detector, but this is a very expensive device, which, moreover, is quite bulky. Researchers have identified other ways to determine lies.
According to psychologists, a person who wants to deceive tries his best to pass off a lie as the truth. At the same time, lying is accompanied by certain gestures, body movements, and specific intonation.
No two people are absolutely alike. Everyone has a different worldview, everyone feels differently. People also lie in different ways. However, there is a whole set of signs according to which we can conclude that this is a liar.
You may ask - why on the left?
There are people who intuitively feel that they are being deceived. But not every one of us can easily perceive the dissonance between words and gestures. How can you guess what a person really thinks? And is it possible to spot a liar?
Of course you can. And even necessary! It was to reading the language of gestures and facial expressions that he dedicated his famous book “Body Language. How to read others' thoughts by their gestures" by famous Australian writer. Being very young, he had already managed to earn his first million. Including thanks to his ability to read non-verbal language.
However, not all gestures associated with touching the face indicate a person’s deceit. After all, when we sneeze, yawn and cough, we also touch our face. And this fact does not mean at all that the person is lying at this time.
Similar actions related to the neck, as well as periodic patting on it, can also indicate that the person has forgotten to fulfill what he promised you, and is now trying to find an excuse for himself.
The artificiality of emotions, among other things, is complemented by overly expressive gestures. The whole face plays, but it doesn’t really play. And everyone can notice such unnaturalness of the interlocutor.
It is also worth paying attention to the volume of the voice at the end of the spoken phrase. The liar begins to speak too loudly, or, on the contrary, too quietly.
You should not draw rash conclusions based on any of the above gestures until you evaluate the person’s behavior as a whole.
It is important to note that being overly partial towards a person for whom we feel antipathy is often overly subjective. Therefore, all his gestures can be interpreted in a negative direction towards him.
Important Notes:
We have collected for you in one list the 30 main signs of lying. Be sure to read them and remember, everyone needs to know them.
Important clarification:
One of these signs is not enough to accuse a person of lying. Therefore, to be sure, you must detect at least several signs at once.
And, if you see 5 or more signs listed below in a person, then this is already a serious signal that he is deceiving you.
For example, he stole money from you and you suspect that it could be him. You say: “Can you imagine, my money was stolen!” And only after 2-3 seconds he will make an amazing grimace, because it just took time to figure out what to do. A normal person would react instantly.
People often and willingly spread lies on other people's ears. In some cases, liars only cause irritation and rejection, in others - deception can have serious consequences: in career, friendship, family. Not to mention that lying can pose a threat to human life. Detecting a lie is not easy, but it is possible. To do this, you need to arm yourself with the knowledge outlined below. They will help bring the deceiver to clean water.
Fact . According to research, the average citizen resorts to lying at least 3 times in a 10-minute conversation.
Any lie is psychological stress for every deceiver, no matter how skillful he may be. Like any stressful condition, lying has its own signs and manifestations - these are reflexes that are difficult to control by reason. We will introduce you to the most obvious symptoms of deception, which will help you understand that they are lying to you or trying to hide the truth.
Fact . The main motives for lying are fear, shame and desire for profit.
According to popular belief, a person's eyes dart from side to side when lying. However, for the most part - this is a sign of extreme anxiety or confusion, but you can worry even when a person fears that no one will believe his truth. It's another matter when the other person struggles to maintain eye contact, practically without taking his eyes off the eyes opposite. This may indicate that a person lies consciously, trying to look confident, while trying to understand whether they believe his lie or not.
According to the knowledge of neurolinguistics, if the interlocutor’s eyes turn to the left during speech, this indicates that he is retrieving information from his memory, that is, something. If to the right, he is engaged in the creation of images, in other words, he composes, imagines or imagines. ( For lefties, it's the other way around). It is logical to assume that when lying, the pupils will move to the right, because for this you need to resort to your imagination. Basically this is true, but there are also nuances.
Fact . Women detect lies better than men. Men lie more often than women.
1.
A clear sign that a person’s thoughts are opposite to what he says is one-sided movements, that is, when one side of the body, be it a shoulder, arm or leg, is much more active than the other. Often, it is the twitching of only one shoulder that is a concomitant element of a lie.
2. If during a conversation the interlocutor takes a step back - most likely he does not believe in what he is trying to convince others of.
3. Uncertainty in one’s words and the untruthfulness of what was said is revealed by a constrained, tense position of the body. Even if a liar tries to appear relaxed and calm, his body will still be tense and in one, often uncomfortable, position.
Fact . The telephone is the most common weapon of deception. People lie on the phone 37% of the time, during personal conversations - 27%, in online messages - 21%, in emails - 14%.
1. Pay attention to the corners of your lips - even if your mouth is under control, it is very difficult to subjugate this part to your will. So, for example, the corners of the lips tremble or tense in those moments when a person managed to fool someone and he's glad it worked out.
2.
A clear sign of untruth is a pursed lip.- this is a hint of uncertainty in one’s words or subconscious disagreement with what is being said. For example, if your request for help is answered, “I will definitely help,” then the pursed lip says, “It’s not worth counting on much.”
3. If the interlocutor’s facial expressions become asymmetrical, for example, the smile only appears on one side, this says that a person is trying to hide true emotions by replacing them with a mask. If the lips smile, while the eyes remain serious, without wrinkles forming around them, you know that he is feigning joy or good nature, hiding your true feelings and intentions.
4. It is also worth noting that real, sincere surprise lasts no more than 5 seconds. If a person is surprised longer, it means he is playing– he knew everything in advance and now strives to assure everyone that his surprise knows no bounds.
Fact . When lying, a person, as a rule, experiences 3 main feelings: remorse, fear of exposure and delight from a successful deception.
1.
Touching the neck indicate that the person is either lying or is very nervous. And when the palm completely clasps the throat, this indicates that the liar is trying to restrain the words from coming out, afraid of letting it slip.
2. An eloquent gesture is finger to lips. Thus, the subconscious tries to prevent lies from coming out, as if warning: be silent, don’t say a word.
3.
Rubbing or earlobes suggests that the person does not want to give himself away. In general, the more hands touch a face during a conversation, the greater the likelihood that this face belongs to an insincere person.
4.
Stroking yourself with fingers speaks of a subconscious attempt by the deceiver to reassure himself and cheer himself up, fearing that they will not believe him.
5. A truthful storyteller, as a rule, does not hesitate to gesture, complementing and enhancing the effect of what was said. On the contrary, a liar has minimal gestures, or completely absent.
Fact .There is such a thing as pathological liars. These people have a strong need for deception, as well as dependence on it. What distinguishes them from ordinary liars is that they themselves begin to believe in their own lies.
1. Using lies in one’s speech, a person subconsciously experiences feelings of guilt and anxiety, therefore if you change the topic of conversation, the liar will suddenly become happier and more relaxed. Although in some cases this may indicate that the previous topic was simply unpleasant for him.
2. In order to it takes time to create a plausible deception, especially if you catch the liar by surprise. To gain extra minutes, a cunning person can resort to several tricks:
3.
A large number of details and unnecessary details- a clear symptom of untruth. Most likely, the liar is trying to demonstrate to you that he is as pure as can be and does not intend to hide anything. That's why he posts tons of useless information.
4. If doubts creep in and you want to understand whether the story of your interlocutor is true, ask you to retell it in reverse order. If the interlocutor is not lying, this will not be difficult to do. Otherwise, he will have problems, and he will get confused: how and in what sequence the lies were laid out.
This knowledge will help you identify lies and understand in time that they are trying to deceive you.. However, finally, we would like to draw attention to one important point: none of the above signs can serve as a 100% manifestation of lies addressed to you. Especially if you do not take into account the overall picture of what is happening and without taking into account the character traits of an individual person. The mentioned signs must be perceived comprehensively and correlated with one another.. They are a reason to think and be wary, and not to brand a person as a liar.