"!! No, tell me - who doesn't drink?!!! I'm waiting!!!" Who doesn't drink? Yuri Nikolaev and Lera Kudryavtseva

"THE POKROVSKY GATE"

    * ...it became clear to everyone that your complexity suits you like Soy's pince-nez...

    *Who doesn't drink? Name it! No, I'm waiting! Velor.

    * And the inscription was like this: “Thank you for the sweet seconds!” Well, I ask: to the artist? "No!" Writer? "No!" - And to whom? - It turned out - to my husband. Savva Ignatich, episode.

    * Shouldn't we slap our glass? - Note that I didn’t suggest this. Kostik, Velurov.

    * Alisa Vitalievna, they want to stab me, they want to stab me! - Are you joking! Khobotov, Alisa Vitalievna.

    * The artist must change clothes! Kostya.

    * Thank you! Oh, thank you! I felt so good! Khobotov.

    * Thank you. How for what?! “For the secret torment of passions!” For what else? Mm. “For the bitterness of tears, the poison of a kiss!” Kostya.

    * Sick people will not give out! - It’s true, patients have great mutual assistance. Kostya, Lyudochka.

    * You will be before our eyes. It's calmer this way. Savva Ignatievich.

    * After all, I am Velorov! - That's it. - I am Velurov! - Of course, Velurov. - I'm Velurov! Velurov, Kostik.

    * She was lying under the sofa in the compartment, bony, toothless, without eyebrows. It was a cold war, brothers, believe me on my word of honor. Soev.

    * Scattered the hearth to dust!.. Only ruins!

    * At my not-so-young age, I lead an illusory lifestyle: I go to the cinema for the last showing, I’ve been to the operetta three times... Khobotov.

    * Haven’t you already liked Lermontov?! Do you have other favorite authors?! Kostya.

    * Your pretensions to be a moralist are intolerable! - Yes, I am a moralist. - You are a Pharisee! Velurov, Kostik.

    * I run an artistic athletics club: I create new torsos for people. - You're selling your body! Kostik, Velurov.

    * After all, you are a poet! You are the mouthpiece of the era! It is so? Isn't that right? - Well, you are too much. Kostik, Soev.

    * Velorov, neighbor. - Neighbor!.. Master of artistic expression. Khobotov, Velurov.

    * So you call her Naiad. You say: “I’m as sad as Blok”! And this, excuse me, is some Kheraskov. Kostya.

    * It’s already autumn, soon it will rain, the wind will howl... - It’s the most flu-like time. Keep your feet warm. Khobotov, Lyudochka.

    *Are you a future husband? - I am not future, but potential. Rita, Kostya.

    * You her... - Well, well, well! - You her... - Well! - Lusted! Velurov, Kostik.

    *You've gone too far! - This is typical for me. Velurov, Soev.

    * High, high relationships! Nina Orlovich. High, high relations! - Normal for spiritual people. She is Margarita.

    * Engraving the names of the winners is a job that requires self-denial. Khobotov.

    * For God’s sake, I don’t know, just a little - contact me! Kostya.

    * Yes, Savva, you broke up your family. A strong Soviet family. A strong family hearth was scattered into dust. Just ruins. Kostya.

    * Danke Sean, Margarita Pavlovna!

    * A familiar image to tears! Kostya.

    * Catching up with Savransky is a utopia! Kostya.

    * Got it! - What does it have to do with it, well, tell me, what does skating have to do with it? - Champion! Margarita, Khobotov.

    * A woman can also be understood. You take girls. She feels bad. - I don’t drive! This is different! Savva Ignatievich, Khobotov.

    * They live not for joy, but for conscience! Savva Ignatievich.

    * Intimidate the girl! Oh, you'll intimidate me, Lev Evgenich! Kostya.

    * Call her, perhaps, in her old age? A! May he live serenely! Kostya.

    *Zer gut, Margarita Pavlovna!

    * What is Svetlana like? - Mm, one associate professor. I'll tell you later, after. - Assistant professor? - Yes, yes, associate professor. Velurov, Kostik.

    * Cafe-bar. I'll catch up. Velor.

    * When I served as a coachman at the post office, I was young and strong... Soev.

    * Cooking! Margarita.

    * Lev Evgenich, I translated your Burgundian Polish into my native language. Kostya.

    * Love her! - Sexual maniac! - I love! - Savva, look at this baboon! Khobotov, Margarita.

    *Emotional people need some guidance. Velor.

    * The masters don't split hairs! - What about the gravediggers in Hamlet? - Craftsmen! Margarita, Khobotov.

    * I was probed. - And successfully? Velurov, Kostik.

    *I'm sad, but you took doping. Kostya.

    * I can tell you that your aunt completed your molestation! Velor.

    * Youth is a moment. Before you know it, I'll change. And not for the better. How reasonable I will be! How moderate I will become! Kostya.

    * Mon papa neve pa que danse.. Khobotov. First the girl remembers: “My father forbade me to dance the polka!” Fine? I like it too. Lev Evgenich, and then the young man remembers, and what turns out to be? He was in exactly the same situation: “My father forbade me to dance the polka!” Kostya. My dad forbade me to dance the polka... Velor.

    * We lived for fifteen years, and it never occurred to me that you were a speed skating star! Margarita Khobotova.

    * The remains of Noah's Ark were discovered on Ararat. Yes, yes, the same one. Oh, have you already heard? Well, God, how interesting! Anna Adamovna, I will write, I will certainly write! Bye bye! I cross it out! Kostya.

    * You speak all languages, but you don’t understand Russian! Savva Ignatievich.

    * A very ancient city was discovered at the bottom of Lake Titicaca, so goodbye, dear, I’m leaving for a long time and I don’t know when I’ll return, but for now, goodbye! I cross it out! Kostya.

    * The World Youth Festival is just around the corner! Handsome guys from New Zealand are coming! Kostya.

    * I hope he has already read poetry to you?! Covered you with quotes?! Margarita.

    * The skull of the prophetic horse Oleg was found. - Ah, well, I read it, I know. - Did you read it? Oh, you're so clever! Kostik, Svetlana.

    * Write a comedy in verse, like Griboyedov. - He ended badly. Kostik, Soev.

    * Naturlikh, Margarita Pavlovna! Savva Ignatiich.

    * Ours play French life. - Yes, art is in great debt! Alisa Vitalievna, Kostik. A mediocre film. - Aunt, art is still in great debt. They are.

    * My naiad! Velor.

    * Independent minds have never been afraid of platitudes! Khobotov.

    * I'm not having an attack! - Will! Khobotov, Margarita.

    * No, he is doubtful! He's doubtful! I wouldn't trust him! Velor.

    * But how did you sing! Velor.

    * Well, who the hell brought you to these galleys?.. Kostya.

    * Society "Labor Reserves"! Svetlana, master of sports! Swims great on its back! Kostya.

    * However, I remembered Bertan Dubois... - What happened to him??? - He fell and died...

    * A spitztichel is one thing, and a bolshtikhel is quite another!

    * He breaks - I fix, he breaks - I fix! Savva Ignatievich.

    * He is not a spectator, he is your neighbor. Soev.

    * He will turn prayer into a farce! Kostya.

    * Did he die too? - Yes, he was stabbed to death or hanged. - God! So what, all poets... like this?! Lyudochka, Khobotov.

    * She was at my concert! She saw my success! Velor.

    * Women aged sixty and above are especially oppressed. They completely kill the tone. Velor.

    * You are nothing but discomfort!

    * It's a pity that you don't grace. This touch would give you flavor and charm. Kostya.

    * The game goes into the endgame, and girls, I will play it! Kostya.

    * Extremely savvy, I must say! In all languages, like a bird, he sings. Savva Ignatievich.

    * I once met a woman of outstanding beauty!.. Savva Ignatievich.

    * Full alley kaput! Savva Ignatievich.

    * Why don't you watch the film? You are a servant of the muses. - I serve Mosestrad! Alisa Vitalievna, Velurov.

    * I warn you! One day your Kostya will surprise you! Velor.

    * Goodbye, Svetka! I wish to collect all the gold in the world in wrestling! Kostya.

    * Is this the finale?! - This is a very successful ending. - This is the final: re-qualify?! Is this the finale? - This is a very bright ending! Velurov, Soev.

    * Cut to hell! Without waiting for peritonitis. The only progressive view! Episode.

    * Fuel up in the morning. Their brains also require this. Savva Ignatievich.

    * Savva Ignatyich, in the end, come to the fore. Margarita Khobotova.

    * Sveta, Sveta - was and is not...

    * Svetla-ana! Svetla-ana! - Shut up, shameless one! Velurov, Kostik.

    * Svetlana, Labor Reserves Society, swims perfectly on her back...

    * Nowadays young people are very undemanding, especially their female part. Kostya.

    * The Soyev family will destroy you! Kostya.

    * Symbolically - you are at the registry office, Khobotov - at the monastery...

    * Tell me, Darling, you want your life to go topsy-turvy, for it to turn into chaos, where every minute receipts, bills, money, stockings and ties will disappear to God knows where, where everything in the batteries will explode, flare up, deteriorate and deteriorate every moment. where you have to go back to the Ice Age forever, but without skins, because he won’t be able to get you skins! Margarita.

    * How many can you remember! I have already apologized! Velor.

    *Have you heard the news? - No! - Emile Zola went crazy. - A-ah! Yes you! But I didn’t know! - Look, turn off the burners! Kostya, Lyudochka.

    * The darling aquarium is sleeping. Kostya.

    * Then - into the bushes! There is no time to think, today everyone must prove themselves!

    * You are not capable of love, like all secret erotomaniacs. Margarita.

    *You won't get married! Insane people are not registered! Margarita.

    * You're right, my dear, it's time to end this process! Margarita. .

    * You yourself rested under anesthesia, but here she is, Margarita, who doesn’t sleep at night! Savva Ignatievich.

    *You look triumphant. Whom did you defeat at Austerlitz? - Svetlana was at my concert. Kostik, Velurov.

    * Everything is burning in his hands. - It’s in your hands that everything burns, but in his hands everything works! Khobotov, Margarita.

    * Fallehov gendicosyllab is a complex pentameter meter consisting of four trochees and one dactyl, which occupies second place... Gleb Orlovich.

    * Khobotov, this is small! Margarita. Khobotov, this is decadence! It's her. Trite, Khobotov! It's her.

    * Khobotov, this is decadence! - That's life!

    * Would you like a Hamburg bill? Please! Let's do it in Hamburg style! Velor.

    *Did they bring anything new? - My Olga Yanovna liked it. Kostik, Soev.

    * Shtikhel is different from shtikhel! Savva Ignatievich.

    * This was the last injection. - Don't say that! Oh, don't say that! Lyudochka, Khobotov.

    * This is a remake of the old one! - Shakespeare also remade ancient stories. Velurov, Soev.

    * This is life: one wins cups, another engraves his name on them. Khobotov.

    * This is my cross!!! And bring it to me!

    * It's not you who's talking! It's your vacuum screaming!

    * It’s not me that’s popular, it’s vaccination that’s popular...

    * This treasure did not give up to you! This is my cross! Margarita.

    * This, brother, is a dream! I walk and close my eyes! Savva Ignatievich.

    * Young man, express yourself faster! Kostya,

    * I am a husband, but a potential...

    * I saw this narrow forehead! Margarita.

    * I’m all so awkward, all angular!.. All so contradictory! Anna Adamovna. I don’t know, I’m all so sudden... All so contradictory! It's her.

    * I asked you not to make noise when I was working with the author! Velor.

    * As soon as I got up this morning, I went straight to the drill!

    * I am a candidate master. -Are you a candidate? - Yes. - You have been a master for a long time. Oh, you are a master! Kostik, Velurov.

    * I don’t know, I kept thinking and thinking... to come in... not to come in... Anna Adamovna.

    * I remember all your absences from the dachas... - You know, I lost the key! - And the cocotte from the Scandinavian editorial office with her sensual, vicious mouth! MarGarita, Khobotov.

    * I'll ask without any rudeness! Velor.

    * I lay down. - You're crazy! - I got sick! Velurov, Margarita.

    * I'm sad like Blok! - What? - The naiad has disappeared. Velurov, Kostik.

    * I respect your wife, I deeply appreciate her taste, but I ask you: watch the ending! Velor.

    * I'm leaving... To look for Tammerlan's grave. Kostya.

    * I am a chess player, I gave a session. - Simultaneous game of love?!.. Kostik, Velurov.

    * As soon as I got up this morning, I went straight to the drill! Savva Ignatievich.

    * Frankly speaking, I just don’t understand where this head comes from, and what isn’t crammed into it! Savva Ignatievich.

    * I... I was lying on the table... - A-ah! -...naked and defenseless. They could have done whatever they wanted to me... - Well, why do you, they won’t do what they don’t need. Khobotov, Lyudochka.

    * I know my limits very well, but you... I’ve been watching you for a long time! Velor.

I decided to compile a complete catalog of phrases and dialogues from the film "Pokrovsky Gate" (USSR, 1982, directed by Mikh. Kozakov). Thought. that there would be 15-20 of them, but I underestimated my favorite film - there were about 100 of them! Almost half the script can be rewritten there. I chose the most lethal ones. Read, remember and enjoy.

Margarita Pavlovna is a woman of significant merit.
- Lev Evgenievich Khobotov, ex-husband, recently dismissed, but not completely released.

Lev Evgenievich is an outstanding phenomenon, he is exceptionally savvy, he sings in all languages ​​like a bird, but for the same reason - there is no balance in his head.
- A woman with a fabulous mind, such a character that she wants to command the front, but is exhausted.
- Our people remember you... You were a top-class engraver!
- Oh, thank you, oh, thank you!
- You did it like that... you... stabbed perfectly!
- Alisa Vitalievna, you disappeared into Kostya, took on the duties of his personal secretary... you encourage this ladies' excitement!
- “I’m going crazy. Velor”
- My naiad...

Velurov by phone:
- I entered Mosestrad as if I were entering my own home, and now I am going there as if I were going to Golgotha!
- Who doesn’t drink?! Name it! No, I'm waiting! Enough! You spat in my soul!
Kostya:
- Scoundrels!
- It’s not true, they will fight for you!
- Oh, leave it alone! I know them all!
- You must defeat this (clicks his Adam’s apple) criminal passion!... Something is somehow damp here... Arkady Varlamovich, shouldn’t we slap our glass?
- Note that I didn’t suggest this!

Camoes! Did he lose an eye?
- He is the eye, and Cervantes is the hand.
- Well, stop it - this is too much!

Khobotov:
...You'll go through the yards with your bag.
We are driven by cruel fate.
Suffering from mental wounds.
You will call upon death with anguish...
Lyudochka:
- This is Camoes!
- No, this is Francois Villon. His "Testament".
- Did he die too?!
- Yes. he was stabbed to death or hanged.
- God! So what, all poets are like this...?
- Almost.

Margot to Khobotov:
- Khobotov, this is petty!
- Khobotov, you are in the blinders of your prejudice.
- Khobotov, don’t make a fuss.
- Khobotov, you are not capable of love, like all secret erotomaniacs.
- If I meet a woman who can inspire confidence in me and to whom I can hand you over with a clear conscience, I will be happy.

How does Lev Evgenievich feel about Savva Ignatyich?
- Undoubtedly gives him credit.
- High, high relationships...

Orlovichi about Savva Ignatievich:
- He's unique, isn't he?
- Yes, there is something genuine about him.
- This Savva Ignatich has some kind of filling.

Savva Ignatyich's catchphrase:
- Shtikhel to shtikhel - discord! A spitz-shtikhel is one thing, and a boyle-shtikhel is quite another.

Savva, what got you into trouble with the shtikhels?
- I mean, when working in relief, Margarita Pavlovna is a delicate work.

High relations!
- Normal, for spiritual people.

Please do not take her name in vain!

Orlovich's lecture:
- Falekhov gendekosilab is a complex pentameter meter consisting of four trochees and one dactyl, which occupies second place. The ancient metric required in the Falekh gendecosilabe a large and constant caesura after the arsis of the third foot.

Like a ship that is ready to change equipment -
Then raise the sails. then row on oars,
You double indulge in passion,
Boy, you are looking for love, burning with desire.
But not finding love, in cruel tears,
You accept the affectionate reward of strangers...

Auntie, how was the movie?
- Untalented rubbish!
- Art is still in great debt.

However, I remembered Bertrand Dufoy.
- Who is it?
- Languedoc truver.
- What happened to him?
- He fell and died.
- What a nightmare!

(to be continued)

"Pokrovsky Gate" is perhaps the most quoted Soviet film. I will cite vivid phrases, dialogues and monologues with which this magnificent picture is so rich.

Play, Yashenka, play!

Cut to hell without waiting for peritonitis!
- You're right, my dear, it's time to end this process!

This is my cross!!! And bring it to me!

Alles gemakht, Margarita Pavlovna!

It's raining outside, and we're having a concert. Autumn, my friends, a beautiful Moscow autumn, but the barometer of all Soviet people shows “clear”!

You're nothing but discomfort!

Well, this is where she got wound up... She says: stay, Savva Ignatyich!
- And you?…
- Well, of course, I stand at attention!

Yes, Savva, you broke a family, a strong Soviet family. The hearth has been scattered to dust - nothing but ruins!

You are popular!
- No. This fortification is popular... So many nervous patients! There is absolutely no one to stab!

High...high relationships!!!
- Normal!.. for spiritual people...

What are you watching?
- Ours are playing French life...
- Art is still in great debt!
- Arkady Varlamovich, why don’t you watch the film? You are a servant of the muses!
- I serve Mosestrad!

Spitzstihel is one thing! And something completely different - bolshtikhel!

I'm all so awkward... all so angular... all so contradictory.

I don't know. I'm all so... sudden, so contradictory.

You look triumphant! Whom did you defeat at Austerlitz?
- Svetlana was at my concert.

In the morning I got up and immediately went to the drill!

Patients have great mutual assistance...

Then - into the bushes! Today everyone must prove themselves!…

Savva Ignatich, to the store!

Who? Ilya... no, I didn’t wait... Yes, yes, I'm aware. Oh wow, this is beautiful! I entered Mosestrad as if it were my own home, and now I go there as if I were going to Golgotha... and who doesn’t drink? Name it! No, I'm waiting! Enough, you spat in my soul!

It's not true, they are fighting for you!
- Leave it! I know them all!
- You must conquer this passion. Something is somehow damp here... Arkady Varlamych, shouldn’t we slap our glass?!
- Note: I didn’t suggest this! Let's go...

Oh, how kind and smart you are!
- You speak insincerely, but it’s a pity.

What, you didn’t like Lermontov either? Or do you have other favorite authors?

Are you a future husband?
- I am not future, but potential.

The woman can also be understood. When you take girls, it’s unpleasant for her.

Art is still in great debt.

What the hell brought you to these galleys?

Society "Labor Reserves", Svetlana, master of sports, is an excellent back swimmer.

Palekov gendecasyllab is a complex pentameter consisting of four trochees and one dactyl, which occupies second place. The ancient metric required in the Phalecian gendecasyllabus a large constant caesura after the arsis of the third foot.

Funf minutes, Margarita Pavlovna!

Young man, express yourself quickly.

I love!
- Did you fall in love? You are incapable of love, like all secret erotomaniacs.

They live not for joy, but for conscience.

Please, don't be ridiculous!

I can tell you that your aunt completed your molestation!

Khobotov! It's petty!

Trite, Khobotov!!!
- Independent minds have never been afraid of banality!!
- What do you have to do with it??!!!

No, he is doubtful! He is doubtful!!! I wouldn't trust him.

One day your Kostya will surprise you!

Leave me! I'm sad like Blok...

It's not you who's talking - it's your VA-KOO-UM screaming!

Well, I had to keep the girl busy with something while you were putting on your trousers!

For all your immaturity, you are too bulky for kindergarten!

Recently I took her to a lecture, she went out of the kindness of her heart...
- Good, you say?
- Immensely. And receptive!

Or are you unable again?!

Are you a candidate? You've been a master for a long time!

Naiad, I’m sad like Blok, and this is some kind of Kheraskov!
- Kostya, don’t swear!

Savva, look at this baboon!

All the best!

Disappeared! Vision, smoke, mirage!

You... You... Lust after her!

Well, who would allow such slander, Arkady Varlamych!

After all, look at your neighbor! Before your eyes, I met and lost the girl I had dreamed about all my life, so what? I even passed the candidate minimum yesterday.

You still ask, Sveta!

The naiad has disappeared!

Should I call her in my old age? Ah, let him live serenely!

Write a comedy in verse like Griboyedov!
- He ended badly!

Create some canvas!
- Why does he need the canvas, that you are knocking him down!

The artist must change clothes!

And all the wife! This is truly an evil genius. From morning to evening, incense burns.

Soev, my dear, I respect your wife, I deeply appreciate her taste, but I ask you, watch the ending!

Is this the finale?!
- This is a very good ending!

You simply disappeared into your Kostya!

That's it, my friends, isn't it time to close this club down!

It’s in your hands that everything is burning, but in his hands everything works!

So I follow him like a child. He breaks - I fix, he breaks - I fix!

Oh, you are so clever, Savva, supernaturally!

And how did all this develop for you, step by step?

She said, it’s better to be a teacher, she looks more respectable.

Right now I’ll show you where the Hund Begraben is!

Catching up with Savransky is a utopia!

You spat in my soul!

Khobotov, you are ridiculous!

Khobotov, don't make a fuss!

The woman at home is all exhausted, and he’s rolling around!

I don’t know about self-denial, but this work doesn’t require subtleties and is done with a spitztichel!

What got you into trouble with the stichels?

Lyudochka, let's make a circle!

What do they want from him?
- They are worried that the person has stepped on a slippery slope...
- Well, that’s what ice is for, to slide!
- You are right, Sveta, you understood me perfectly!

The darling aquarium is sleeping!

You were an engraver, well... uh, extra-class!

No, everyone looked human, and only you, Arkady Varlamych, behaved like an unconditional enemy of humanity!
- Well, how much can you? I have already apologized!

I lay down. I can't.

We'll be back at three - so we can be home!

Some win cups, others engrave the names of the winners on them!

I am getting married!
- No, you won't get married! Insane people are not registered!

Ungrateful epileptic!

And yet, believe the historian, you cannot make someone happy against your will!

When you go on stage
You have to strive for one thing
We need to tell everyone immediately
Who are you, why and why

For humanism and the cause of peace
Satire fights fearlessly
May this summer evening
This is my new monologue.

All of America is in terrible turmoil:
Eisenhower is sick of war,
But in his public speech
He says what kind of world he is a wall!

Sing, swallow, sing!
The world breathes in spring
Let the arsonist wheeze and scream -
The pigeon is flying!

I was lying on the table, naked and defenseless, they could do anything to me!
- Well, why are you doing this? They won’t do what they don’t need.

I gave a session yesterday.
- Simultaneous games of love?

The parasite was buried
Friends cried
And two “jazz” on the grave
Boogie-woogie.

I just can't forget
One Nekrasov phrase:
"So you may not be
But you have to be a citizen.”

Damn question - how can you not get drunk here?
What comes first? Consciousness? Being?
Our people are condemned abroad,
That he is not abstinent in strong drinking.

And who doesn’t drink, tell me, guys?
The Frenchman drinks Armagnac or cognac,
Scotch with a fume aroma
It fits on the temples without straining.

German, he's very playful with schnapps,
The Cuban worships rum dearly,
And the Mexican don, not very sober,
Filled with tequila to the top.

The Japanese are different from the Russians -
Sake is three times weaker than vodka.
And if you look, the eyes are narrow,
You know, they ferment a lot, no matter what you say!

There is also information: according to rumors,
Aborigines of the outer islands
On holidays they drink their booze,
And we are healthier - without doctors.

Every ethnic group respects a glass,
Ours, meanwhile, have their own migraine:
Who is to blame for the fact that vodka is becoming more expensive?
What to do if there is a holiday every day?

And the conclusion at the end of the treatise:
Nationality is no barrier to drunkenness.
Stop drinking vodka, guys.
And drink better kvass... and moonshine...

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Genghis Khan's statement about widespread drunkenness among the Mongols is well known - both during their existence as ordinary nomads in peacetime and during their time in the army during wars. It was brought to us by Rashid ad-Din, who collected the collection bilikov(edifying maxims of the khan, his decisions on various judicial and everyday disputes) of Genghis Khan and his successors. It's worth quoting:

“The Karachu people, in other words, the common people, addicted to intoxicating drinks, completely drink away their horse, herd and everything they have, and become beggars; Service people who are addicted to drinking wine are constantly tormented and worried by fate. These intoxicating drinks do not look at the face or the heart: they [equally] intoxicate both good and evil and do not ask whether [a person] is bad or good. They intoxicate the hands, so that they are deprived of the ability to grasp and skill [in their actions]; they stupefy the legs, and they stop moving and walking; they stupefy the heart, and it is not able to think sensibly; they disable all feelings and tools of thinking.

If there is no remedy for drinking, then a person needs to get drunk three times a month. As soon as [he] crosses three times, he will commit a [punishable] offense. If within a month he gets drunk [only] twice, that’s better, and if he gets drunk once, that’s even more commendable, but if he doesn’t drink at all, what could be better than that?! But where can you find such a person who would not drink [at all], and if one is found, then he should be appreciated!

It would seem that with such widespread drunkenness (" but where can one find such a person who would not drink [at all], and if one is found, then he should be appreciated") what kind of drinking culture can we talk about? And yet it existed, just as there was a difference in the grade and quality of intoxicating drinks - some traditionally nomadic (from milk), some imported from foreign countries (wine, etc.). Here they played their role, of course, property inequality and partly social inequality.Two Chinese intelligence diplomats, Peng Da-ya and Xu Ting (visited the Mongols in 1233 and 1236, respectively), wrote about all this in detail:

"[Milk] is stored in leather vessels continuously for several days. The taste [of it] is slightly sour when you first drink it. It is also called kumis"(Peng Da-ya)

"people milk [milk] into a leather bucket with their hands, then pour it into a leather bag and beat it. Commoners drink [from this bag] within a few days. Having first arrived at the golden tent of the Tatar ruler, [I] drank clear, sweet-tasting kumiss. If you compare [it] with that [kumys], which is ordinary white in color, and at the same time cloudy, sour in taste and smelly, then [they] have no resemblance at all. They call it ‘black kumys’, probably because it is transparent, which means it appears black [like the bottom and walls of a vessel]. [I] asked about it, [they] answered me like this: they fill this [leather bag] with [milk] and beat it for 7-8 days, the harder they beat it, the purer [the kumiss becomes], and when [the kumiss becomes] transparent, then its smell ceases to be stinking. Only that one time [I] managed to drink [black kumiss]. In other places [I] was never again honored with the offering of such exquisite dishes. Moreover, [when I was] for the second time in the golden tent, [they] sent me grape wine, which they filled a glass bottle with. In one bottle maybehold more than 10 small cups [of wine]. Its color is similar to southern persimmon juice and its taste is very sweet. [I] heard that if you drink [of it] a lot, you will become completely drunk, but [I] had no reason to get a lot of [wine]. [But I] remembered that [wine] is brought as tribute from the Uyghur state"(Xu Ting)

It is very interesting to compare these honorary treats with the most expensive varieties of kumiss and wine of the ambassadors of the South Sun emperor Kaan Ogedei with the famous reception of Prince Daniil of Galicia, who performed the corresponding rituals in the Batu Horde to recognize the supreme power of the Mongols and received from the Mongol overlord a label for power in his country. Indeed, during these rituals there was also an honorary treat for the prince with the best kumis from the hands of Batu:

"Rexha to him ( Batu-R.H.): “Danilo, why haven’t you come for a long time? But now you have come, otherwise it’s good. Do you drink black milk, our drink mare kumuz?” To him I said: “I haven’t drunk before. Now you order me to drink.” He ( Batu - R.Kh.) speech: “You are already our Totarin. Drink our drink.” Having drunk, he bowed according to their custom, uttering his words, saying: “I’m going to bow to the Grand Duchess, Barakchina.” Speech ( Batu - R.Kh.): "Go." Come on, bow down ( Daniel - R.H.) according to custom. And sent ( Borakchina - R.H.) wine chum and speech: “If you’re not used to drinking milk, drink wine.”"(IL, stb. 807).

“Black koumiss,” according to the testimony of Yelü Zhu (Yuan dignitary, son of the famous Yelü Chutsai), went through complex and lengthy production, and therefore was very expensive and constituted one of the “8 jewels” of the kaan table:

"A bag knitted from soft tanned leather and filled with mare's milk is shaken back and forth, bringing its [kumys] sour taste to such a point that it can be drunk, which is why it is called the ‘best variety’... If the sour taste [remains], then there is nothing left to do but shake it even more - to bring its taste to sweet, shake it with a pestle more than 10,000 times. For its excellent sweetness, exquisite taste and aroma, it is called ‘zhuhang’ in the Yancai language.. It [this name] is also used in our state... The people of Yancai now have a recipe [for making] their own variety [kumys], which everyone follows and makes [in accordance with them] whipped mare [drink]". (Essay "Shuangqi zui-yin ji").

It should also be noted here that according to Yelu Zhu, “black kumiss” was of Kipchak origin (Yantsai is precisely the land of the Kipchak). This is also confirmed by the biography of the Kipchak Tutuk in “Yuan shi”:
"served in [the emperor's] inner circle, knowing chanfans [ 1 ] and horse breeding. [He] annually supplied [to the emperor's table] whipped kumiss. [This kumiss] is transparent and the taste is great. [It] is called black kumiss and because of this name [kumis] those assigned to it [making] were called ‘harachi’[2 ] ".
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[1 ] Court position under the Yuan, chanfans were in charge of the manufacture and storage of weapons and personal belongings of the emperor.
[2 ] This Mongolian word consists of ‘hara’ - ‘black’ in Mongolian + the suffix of the name of the producer of the action ‘chi’.

Depiction of an offering of drink to Genghis Khan by his subjects (Indian miniature from a 16th-century manuscript with a list of “Jami at-tawarikh” by Rashid ad-Din)

PS: The personality of this Kipchak Tutuk is very colorful - he was born in 1236 into a family of hereditary khans of the Kipchak horde, which roamed on both sides of the Volga - both to the west (near the Don) and to the east (in the Volga-Ural interfluve). In Yuan he reached major posts - for example, he was the commander of one of the guards corps ( wei) Kublai's kaan. Genealogical legend of his family ( shezhere) is preserved in the Chinese biographies of Tutuk (they describe the genealogy of both himself and his ancestors). These biographies were preserved in “Guochao wenlei” (by Yu Ji) and in “Yuan shi” (where Yu Ji’s work was taken as a basis and supplemented with a number of other information). Data from there was taken by researchers to analyze information on the early ethnogenesis of the Kipchak, as well as for the history of the Kipchak campaign of the Mongols. True, not entirely (IMHO) successful. However, this is a separate topic that requires special consideration - the information there is too important, which has not yet been fully researched and which has not yet been subjected to a thorough and comprehensive analysis.

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