How to keep yourself busy when you're bored. What to do with yourself when there is nothing to do Reason for the question: What should I do, what should I do?

We offer the best ideas for what to do in your free time. It definitely won't be boring!

I’ll be honest: I sometimes envy people who have free time, and those who have so much of it that they simply don’t know what to do drive me into a stupor.

How can a modern adult not be constantly busy?

How does he have time to fool around and be bored?

Who are these people who are asking?

But since demand creates supply, and such questions have become more frequent, I decided to quickly prepare an article on this topic.

I have selected for my readers a list of leisure activities that will not only be interesting and enjoyable, but will also benefit you.

So much free time - what to do with it?

The sports club that I visited in Kyiv was often visited by glamorous young ladies - children of fairly wealthy parents and wives of wealthy people.

One day in the locker room, one complained to the other that after hiring a nanny for her son for the whole day, she had too much free time and had nothing to do.

My husband doesn’t allow me to go to work, and you can’t fill the whole day with beauty salons, shopping and the gym.

This young woman, careless as a bird, really complained to her friend about her difficult lot and her satrap husband, who did not want to give her a beauty salon or boutique so that she would not languish from boredom all day long, so that she would not think about what to do in her free time.

A friend suggested she take up some hobby.

To which the young lady replied that she already has a hobby - she collects original brand shoes.

I ran off about my business, but I couldn’t get the conversation of two glamorous girlfriends out of my head.

On the one hand, what woman doesn’t secretly dream that her life will consist entirely of shopping trips and beauty salons.

On the other hand, I was simply horrified by how boring the lives of girls from high society lead.

They simply have nothing to do in their free time.

What to do in your free time if you don't have much?

If you are as crazy as I am, then your day is scheduled minute by minute and free time rarely appears in such a busy schedule.

The best thing you can do if you have a window is to relax.

You can just get some sleep - this is very relevant advice for me, otherwise I often repeat to you about the importance of 8 hours of healthy sleep, but I myself neglect my own advice.

Relaxing does not mean lying on the couch all day.

Although, if such joy does not happen to you often, then it is quite possible to sacrifice one day so as not to leave the house, but simply relax, read interesting books, watch new films, etc.

You can do a more interesting activity on your free day:

1. Go for a walk in the park or in the forest for a picnic.
2. Go to the cinema or theater.
3. Visit the exhibition.
4. Play billiards, bowling or something else.
5. Ride a bike.
6. Go on an interesting excursion.
7. Go to .
8. Spend the whole day with your loved one.
9. Organize a party for friends.
10. Do something extreme: jump with a parachute, fly in a hot air balloon, ride an ATV, go horseback riding, etc.

You can do cleaning in your free time

Being in a clean house, without a single speck of dust, is very pleasant, you must agree.

If you have enough free time, you can do some general cleaning of your home.

That is, not just perform the traditional ritual (dust, vacuum, clean the plumbing), but also get to places where you rarely got to before, for example, on a closet or under the refrigerator.

You can do spot cleaning. For example, do the following important things:

• clean out your closet - give poorer relatives the things you no longer wear, this will free up space for new things;
• sort books on shelves;
• clean the kitchen cabinets, clean all the dishes;
• defrost and clean the refrigerator;
• go through your makeup bag, or maybe there are some products lying around that need to be thrown away;
• go through documents, receipts, technical passports and get rid of everything unnecessary.

It is not necessary to do cleaning in the traditional sense of the word.

Here's another what to do in your free time can my readers:

Go through all the photos that are stored on your computer and create full-fledged albums from them.

If you know a graphics program, you can make a photo collage or a mock-up image to print on a T-shirt or cup.

1. Organize your playlist and video library.

Update the list of books you want to read and cross out those you have already read.

The same can be done with films.

2. Cleaning up the folders on your work computer is something you never get around to doing.

In your free time, you can engage in self-education

In fact, you should always find free time for self-education and mental development.

Arguments: “I don’t read books / don’t watch educational videos / don’t attend courses because I don’t have time for this” are unconvincing.

No matter how busy your work schedule is, you need to give food for your mind every day.

People who have enough free time were simply ordered by God to enroll in some courses (computer, foreign languages, driving, etc.) or personal growth training.

You can even get a second higher education if you are short on time - it certainly won’t be superfluous and will help you do something useful for 4-5 years.

If you don’t have enough free time to attend some courses or trainings, you can take part in a one-time educational campaign and do the following:

• read a useful article;
• watch a motivational video or documentary;
• learn a dozen foreign words;
• master a computer program;
• learn something new - yes, even weave beads, because any knowledge and skills will not be superfluous.

A fairly wide list of things to do in your free time,

also featured in the following video:

What else can you do in your free time?

As for me, the proposed options are quite enough to spend your free time interestingly and usefully.

But I myself love it when, from the abundance of options, you can choose the one that suits you perfectly, and I think that among my readers there are the same people.

Here are some more interesting ideas to do if you have some free time:

Volunteer activities.

Shelters for homeless animals, groups that help the elderly, people without a fixed place of residence, the Red Cross and other charitable organizations are waiting for you.

Beauty Day.

This advice is more relevant for girls, but still.

Dedicate the whole day to yourself: visit a spa or arrange one at home.

And so that such beauty does not disappear, go on a visit in the evening or somewhere else.

Culinary experiments.

If you love to cook, but do not have enough free time for it, then on the free day you can start preparing some complex dessert or exotic dish.

Invite your friends over for the evening to try your culinary masterpiece.

As you can see, there are enough ideas for a pleasant and useful leisure time.

If you are not lazy and lead a fairly active lifestyle, then the problem is what to do in your free time, will not bother you too often.

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Every person sooner or later has the need to answer a question, which is perhaps one of the most important in principle. We are talking, of course, about choosing a life path, about determining one’s destiny.

Not every person is able to decide what to do in life. He may be hindered by doubts, bad experiences, obstacles, a subconscious fear of failure and being broken, or even other people. But none of this really matters.

Step #1: follow your dream

Many people, trying to figure out what to do in life and how to find themselves, approach this issue from the wrong side. They think - what will bring in more money? What specialty is the most prestigious? What should you do to ensure a solid status in society? What profession to choose so as not to stress too much? What should you do so that society will approve of it?

All these questions don't matter. We need to start doing what we love. This is what I really like, what I always wanted to do.

Is the approach advisable?

Of course, many people will find a thousand refutations of the above words. Allegedly, not every “dream business” will provide a stable income, status in society, significant connections, career growth, and so on.

Well, maybe. But is it worth spending your life, which does not last so long, on a task that does not bring any moral satisfaction and pleasure? Definitely not. In the end, everything will lead to routine and hopeless boredom. A person will wake up already tired, and at work count the minutes until the end of the shift. And so on day after day. Is there any meaning to such a life?

Step No. 2: develop and improve

If a person, when deciding what to do in life, makes a choice in favor of his dream business, he is already halfway to success. But another half is ahead. And it lies in constant improvement and development.

It’s not for nothing that they say that there are successful people in any business. This is true. Why? Because they are not limited to just working in their favorite specialty. They are thinking about how to develop this area.

These people are puzzled by the question: what to do to attract other individuals who are the same enthusiasts to their business? And for them, such thoughts are not so much a start for a business plan, but a desire to find interested like-minded people and share their favorite business with them.

What is the result?

As a result, the time spent on developing your activities begins to pay off. Often, these people really come up with the idea of ​​starting a business, which in the future brings in a solid income. And outsiders, observing such success, are amazed: how could they make money on something that, it would seem, cannot be profitable?

It's simple. They love their business, know it inside and out, and also have a non-standard approach to its development. That's why it's so important to do what you want. By devoting time to what you love, a person will not want to stop there. He will want to develop further.

If there are no thoughts

Now it’s worth talking about those cases when a person really doesn’t know what to do in life. That is, he doesn’t even have a favorite hobby.

Well, this is a more complicated case. As a rule, the lives of such people go on autopilot. They exist according to a pattern that millions of people have gone through - they go to school, enter a university, find a job, get married. And they completely forget about the realization of the inner “I”, the potential of which simply fades away in conditions of such a banal existence. But at one point such people understand: their life is not at all what they would like it to be.

What to do then? You need to separate your thoughts from others and be alone with yourself. At such moments a person understands: he does not know himself at all. He adheres to the views of which his parents/society/comrades convinced him. He lives the way he “should” (although such a concept does not exist). He simply does not feel the world around him, does not listen to his inner self. And this needs to be fixed. How? Let's talk about this in a little more detail.

Honesty to yourself

She is the most important. If a person does not know what to do in life, he only needs to answer one question. He must ask himself: “What do I want?” And act based on the answer. Which, of course, must be specified.

But usually the answer to one question leads to another. It usually looks like this: “I want to be happy. Okay, but what do I need for this? Probably freedom and money. How can I get both at the same time? Apparently, the only way out is remote work. But which one exactly? What can I do? What can I do?

Yes, a lot of questions arise. But the consistent formation of specific answers to each of them will lead to a person finally deciding what he really should do in life. There is no need to rush in this matter. It is important to listen to your desires and not compare them with existing opportunities, but look for new ones to realize them.

Setting a goal

If a person does not know what to do in life, then he needs to start from the end. That is, decide what he wants to get in the end. In other words, set a goal.

It should be as specific as possible. It is important to clearly formulate it and set certain boundaries. For example: “I want to become a successful businessman - open my own online store of trendy things. What do I need for this? Start-up capital for creating a website, purchasing the first batch of goods and advertising. For this I need an amount of 1,000,000 rubles. There are two ways: take out a loan or save up. Which one is better to use? Should I wait 2-3 years, accumulating the amount, or risk getting into debt?

This is just an example. The goal can be anything - less or more global. The most important thing in the process of setting it up is that a person begins to understand himself and his desires, to understand what exactly he wants and what things awaken in him the desire to live.

About prejudices

Often, in the topic concerning the search for the meaning of one’s existence, there are questions formulated in this way: “What should a woman do in life?” or “How can a man find himself?”

So, it's worth clarifying something. People who ask questions precisely in this formulation must first of all understand: we live in a modern emancipated world, where there are no purely female or purely male professions/hobbies. We are all people first. And a person, no matter what gender he is, is free to do what he wants.

Therefore, we need to get rid of prejudices. And stop worrying about what people will think. The opinion of strangers is the last thing that should worry a person who is deciding what new thing to do in life.

After all, all such questions arise due to groundless prejudices. The most popular one goes like this: “A man should choose a profession that could feed both him and his family.” Well, firstly, the primitive system, when representatives of the stronger half of humanity were considered breadwinners, has long come to an end. And the second thing was described in the first paragraphs.

One hundred percent motivation

All of what was mentioned above may have absolutely no meaning for some people. They will consider it just words and meaningless reasoning. Well, a technique called “Six months before death” can help such people decide what they should really do in life.

Life is not eternal. Each of us will die. Death is not just a word. This is the disappearance of all reality. The meaning of this phrase is difficult to explain - everyone must pass it through themselves. And think: what if his end comes in a few months? After all, no one knows how much time is allocated to him. Every day a person becomes closer to death. His life is shortened. Isn't this a reason to start looking for your purpose right now?

Usually a person, having gotten rid of the illusion of infinity of time, reveals his true values. He understands what really matters to him, and what things he would not mind spending the remaining months on. Answers to many questions appear. And most importantly, a person realizes what kind of life he would live in the remaining days and what he would do.

Here it is, the solution! What remains? Just remove the “would” bits from all your answers and start living in such a way that, when you die, you don’t have to feel regret for wasting your time.

Rich Life Technique

You can use it if a person is interested in the topic of how to understand what to do in life.

The technique is simple. First, you need to relax as much as possible, close your eyes, and “go into yourself.” And then use your imagination. It is necessary to imagine in detail the “ideal future”, where a person has everything he could dream of - a beautiful big house, a modern apartment, cars, yachts... anything can be on this list. There is no need to worry about money - a person is provided with unlimited funds until the end of his days.

Having realized this, you need to think: what would you like to do in such conditions? How would the day begin, pass and end? What will a person spend his free time on? Usually many wrong beliefs fall away.

By the way, you can also ask yourself a few tricky questions. For example: “Would I be doing my current job if I were fabulously rich? Would I have done this if I had stayed a year before I died? Would I pay to be able to do my current job if I had to?” The answers to such questions put a lot into place in a person’s mind.

No need to focus on work

This is another simple truth to remember. A person who is concerned about the question “What to do in life?” may not limit himself to a business approach. Yes, work takes up a significant part of life, but if he cannot or is not yet ready to change it, there is another way out!

We are talking about a hobby. For many people, life is divided into two parts. This is work and hobby. Moreover, the latter may include several types of activities. It is recommended to create a “Puzzle of Hobbies” - something like a vision board. On the sheet you need to write down at least 20 activities that are truly favorite and bring pleasure. For example - cycling, partying until the morning, communicating with foreigners, physical activity, shopping, etc.

After the puzzle is completed, it is worth highlighting for yourself the type of activity in which it would be possible to formulate some goals. For example: “Master the Spanish language to the fullest,” or “Run on a 10 km track.” It’s great if the hobby is useful. You can take up a healthy lifestyle, or a new activity that is attractive to a person (who knows, maybe in the future it will become the main one?). The most important thing is not to limit yourself in anything. Each of us deserves happiness, and it can only be achieved by spending our lives doing things that bring us pleasure.

The next episode of the “Takeaway Psychology” program is dedicated to the topic of finding inner harmony through finding the “path to yourself” and gaining self-sufficiency.

After watching the program on TUT.BY-TV, you will learn:

• preventive measures against the “crisis of meaning”;
• thanks to what actions your weight as a person increases in the eyes of others;
• why running a marathon with someone is easier than running alone;
• what to do when you don’t know what you want to do in life, and you’re afraid to try new things because you’re sure that “it won’t work out anyway”;
• why the lack of “talent” is not a sentence, but an excuse;
• what lies behind women’s fear of “losing themselves” while caring for a family and a small child;
• what is “self-sufficiency” from the point of view of psychology and how to “acquire” it;
• why “being in harmony with yourself” is not about the lotus position and Zen, but about getting rid of sloppy thinking;
• what to do in a situation when one of the spouses flirts with “self-improvement” and begins to accuse the other of being boring and “ordinary” (which may end with the phrase “we have nothing more to talk about, our marriage is dead, let’s get a divorce”);
• “love and accept yourself” - what is this even about?

The answers to these and many other questions are in the “Takeaway Psychology” program with a psychologist Pavel Zygmantovich and journalist Olga Kakshinskaya.

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If the topic of finding yourself arises, it means that the person who asked this question is a slacker. Life is filled with meaning, a person does something important for himself, which he gives a certain significance. If there is no such personal meaning, any activity seems useless and unnecessary. Then the person says that he cannot find himself.

Indeed, the problem of meaninglessness is seriously on the agenda for some people. Previously, there was little time for reflection. When you were jumping over the rocks like a Cro-Magnon and trying to drive a mammoth, there was no time to reason. In the modern world there is time for entertainment, and the problem of finding the meaning of life arises.

In addition, activity is now divorced from the person. Let's say a person is sorting through papers in the office of an oil company. What does he do? What is it for? What happens if he sorts out the papers incorrectly? But if we are talking about a person who works in a fund and tries to find money for patients, a lot depends on his mistakes. His activities have meaning.

Letter from a reader: “I just can’t find myself. I constantly find ideals among young beautiful girls - and it begins: “What hair color!” What a hairstyle! What a style! I want to be the same." Tell me how to deal with this."

The girl is not so much looking for herself as she wants to be something in the eyes of other people. It is important for her to be ideal, and she goes through the images that are “prescribed” as good.

She sees a stylish girl, sees admiring glances after her and thinks that she wants the same thing.

This is fine. Humans are ultra-social creatures. If they do monotonous activities in a group, their results become better. For example, cancer patients recover faster if they participate in a support group. We have a need for belonging.

It may be belonging to some ideal, because if you belong to that ideal, you will get your share of recognition. The only question is why bother? It's still impossible to please everyone. And there is no ideal that is definitely better. A minority of people like us. There is no need to search for yourself, but it is better to choose an option and move calmly with it, understanding that for some people it will be unattractive, but some people will appreciate your choice.

Is it better to start from personal feelings? Try different images, and when from the copied images you find the one in which you feel comfortable, stay in it.

This is especially pronounced in adolescents. They try different roles, so subcultures are especially developed among them.

But in the case of our reader, another mechanism can also work - doing business, that is, something important for others. For example, some person saw an abandoned pond near the HTP and began to improve it. This matter is important for others, the person has a personal meaning.

The girl wants to feel included, and she chooses the path of beauty. But it’s a dead end, because you can’t please everyone. And if she is busy with something, then the tossing will stop, there will be a feeling that you are busy with an important and useful thing.

Another situation: “I can’t fully understand what is interesting and where to develop. If I want to do something, I immediately begin to think that nothing will work out: I have no skills, no appropriate education.” What is the recipe for courage?

There is no recipe for courage needed here. The goal is to clear some things out of the brain. From what has been written it is clear that a person has black and white thinking - “if I don’t have it, I can’t do it.” There is also an assumption that talents, skills and knowledge must be present immediately. If a girl is not going to operate on a patient, work at a nuclear power plant and develop technical components for aircraft, she can already take it and try it. Black-and-white thinking slows you down because there is no reason to tell yourself: “I don’t know how to do this, but I want to learn. So I will take it and learn.”

Many people don't understand the main thing. A fixed mindset is an unrealistic thing. A person has some given things: eye color, hair color, bone width, rate of muscle growth. But as far as behavior is concerned, a person’s predetermination is extremely low.

People have significant differences in how they deal with errors. Some people really don’t like mistakes, while others take them lightly, and this is only partially determined biologically. A large part is the cultural, social, psychological superstructure, which can be changed.

Many people talk about ability to do something. It is not true. For example, hearing and voice develop in any person, the question is speed. There are no talents, but a lot of work and good techniques. For some it will require more effort and take longer, but this does not mean that a person will not be able to learn it.

In the USA, a teacher once noticed that Asians have very good math scores, while blacks do poorly. He began to investigate what the reason was. It turned out that the Asians were preparing in groups of five to ten people. Due to the fact that they are doing the same thing together, they experience social facilitation. When everyone is faced with a problem and cannot solve something, they work together to find the right solution, or one person solves it and teaches the others. Among the blacks, everyone sits alone, nothing works out for him, and he thinks that he is not capable of anything.

As a result, the teacher began to unite blacks into groups, and within a semester they improved in mathematics. By the end of the third semester, they performed on par with the Asians.

Any skill is formed exclusively in the process of real activity. Even if he trains very well, an athlete still does not know how to perform at big competitions until he has experience of performing at big competitions. It’s okay if you don’t know how to do something - just take it and try it. Slowly, in the process of real activity, the skill will come.

There is such a thing as the fear of losing yourself. For example, some girls, planning a pregnancy, are afraid of social isolation while on maternity leave and being lost in worries. What is behind this fear?

People have a need for autonomy - this is the need to make their own decisions and follow them. With the arrival of a child, this fear of losing autonomy is justified. The need for it becomes sharply unsatisfied. There is a feeling that the next day is similar to the previous one. The woman washed the dishes - and half an hour later there was again a mountain of dirty dishes.

The only way out is to understand that there will be no other way. Giving birth to a 7-8 year old child seriously reduces autonomy. For example, a woman decides to start running. She bought sneakers and agreed that her husband would stay with the child. But the child did not sleep all night; the mother spent the whole night next to the child. What other run? Or the child went to school, but got sick, and at 7 years old you can’t leave him alone at home. Once again plans fall apart. We must accept that this will happen all the time, and see the advantages of parenthood.

This is largely influenced by the fact that the media says that you can be a mother of three children and at the same time be an ideal housewife, maintain a wonderful relationship with your husband and even work. An ordinary woman looks at this picture and thinks: what is wrong with me if I don’t have this?

This is a common occurrence. If the relationships in the environment are not very close, then the woman shows only a façade, the best. She went to the park with her child, to the theater with her husband, and all this happened in a month, but it is told as if it were a weekend. Indeed, the picture is that everything is fine with them, but everything is bad with us. Feelings of guilt, thoughts “I’m not like that,” and depression develop. It can help to understand that all this is not true, and if someone succeeds in this, then it is luck. A person, for his part, can do little in this matter.

Maybe it makes sense to ask a woman who manages everything how she does it. And do not engage in self-deprecation.

There is no need to engage in self-deprecation at all. Having children and losing yourself in the family is difficult, but it will pass, and if there is a technique, it can be somehow alleviated. The main thing is not to make a tragedy out of the fact that something doesn’t work out for you. It is very strange to hope that your child will always sleep well at night. It won’t, and you need to know about it in advance.

The next question is how to be in harmony with yourself. There is a certain ideal picture in my head of being in a state of Zen, when a person seems to be surrounded by a certain aura. In real life, people step on your toes, you get angry, they irritate you. Is it possible for a person, a fickle creature, to reach that very point of calm?

If we took a vacation, went to the Braslav Lakes, sailed on a boat, admired the surrounding nature, became inspired. At this moment we reach that point of calm. but it is impossible to remain in this state forever.

Neuropsychologist Oliver Sacks has a book called An Anthropologist on Mars. In one story he describes a man who became "enlightened." He was beautiful, everyone loved him, he could sit in meditation for days, he always had a blissful smile. Gradually he stopped talking to people, he just looked at them and touched them with his hand. Then he died because he had a fist-sized tumor in his head. She was the one who made him kind.

If those around him had noticed that the person was actually behaving abnormally, they would have taken him to the clinic. Most likely, the person would have remained alive. Enlightenment can come with age, because a person becomes wiser, he has seen enough of life, he has understood something, and he has experienced hormonal changes. But even in this case, a person normally has different aspirations. People with only one aspiration are maniacs or fanatics.

For example, a girl studies at a university. She has an exam tomorrow, she needs to study, and suddenly her friend invites her to a party. The girl is also interested in relationships, and she is faced with a choice. There is no harmony here anymore, and that’s normal. The girl’s task is to calmly decide for herself what is a priority for her and accept the consequences of such a decision. Experiences at this moment are harmful. Additional experiences of “what if” and “what if” complicate the choice.

How to deal with habit and addiction?

When people experience addiction, among other things, a moment of additional self-exhaustion arises. A person asks himself: “What kind of person am I if this happens to me?” and then: “What kind of person am I if I can’t cope with this?” But getting rid of addiction is quite difficult. To overcome it, you need to stop reproaching yourself. If you have a habit, you just can’t overcome it.

If thoughts of self-flagellation arise, do ten squats. Physical activity stops the flow of thoughts. The third step is to stop counting your defeats and focusing on them. For example, a person is losing weight. Usually he reproaches himself for slipping today and eating something extra again. But in this case, he focuses on failure. But you need to focus on success, even if it is small: “I ate the cake, but twice refused the chocolate that my colleagues offered.”

Here again black and white thinking appears: if I ate cake, I’m good for nothing, my whole diet is in vain. But the man lost his temper, there’s nothing wrong with that. Breaking a habit is about learning a new behavior, and every process involves failure. The skill improves in leaps and bounds, even after a short pause. Therefore, you can do nothing, return to this skill after a while, and it will be better than it was before the pause. In the case of cake, if you held out all week and ate cake on the weekend, don’t despair. Eat some more and start a new life on Tuesday.

People sometimes catastrophize events: “Oh God, I ate cake!” But, according to recent studies, for example, it is not good for alcoholics to strive for complete abstinence from alcohol. This works much worse than if you strive to reduce the amount you drink and introduce consumption into a controlled corridor.

When completely stuck, a person will most likely break down. With his inherent sloppiness of thinking, he will think that it didn’t work, he is a lost person, and he will drink again. An old habit fades in waves, and a new habit grows in waves. The key here is not to stop waxing and waning. Many people stop because they think it definitely didn’t work out.

Suppose one of the spouses is engaged in self-improvement: attending courses, reading books on psychology. One day he tells his partner that he has outgrown him, that he is ordinary and down to earth, and the person feels himself on a higher level. It destroys relationships.

People don't like being pressured. If I am told to do something, the very fact of demand, instruction, insistence turns me into a person who does not make decisions himself. It is unpleasant. When someone comes and says that they have read or heard some idea and that from now on the couple will live according to new rules, it turns out that everything was decided for the second partner.

Any such opinion must be presented as your own. Then there is no authoritative pressure, there is no desire to resist, and the partner perceives this idea better.

There is growth and development. Growth is an increase in quantitative indicators. Development is an increase in quality indicators. But when a person says that he is evolving, what does he mean? If a person has developed so much, why can’t he pull up his partner?

When the person next to you is truly developed, you want to follow him and take his example. Then the question is, if you are developed, why haven’t you become more attractive in the eyes of the person next to you?

If you don't lead anyone by your example, have you really evolved? And then there is no “I’ve outgrown you.” There is a basic “we stopped communicating.” People became desynchronized, stopped being passionate about each other and each other’s affairs and became strangers.

Sometimes a partner says that he is ready to develop, but will ask to explain where. And they answer him: “You have to understand this yourself. Read this book, you will understand.” When there are no specifics, everything is very difficult. Synchronization is the ability to hear each other.

First, you need to take action. The following nine steps will help you find direction in your life when you're having trouble figuring it out on your own.

Offer your services to people who need help. You already have skills and abilities that can help someone. Think of a way you could help someone else do something. This could be anything: learning a language, basic computer skills such as Word or Excel, or sending email. There are people who need help learning how to type letters on a keyboard, update their social media feeds, and do other basic tasks. Taking time to help others can help you discover what you enjoy doing and what inspires you.

Write a blog about it. Perhaps you are interested in a specific topic, career or a certain type of business? Blogging helps you learn more about the topic you are studying. A blog is a great tool for learning, teaching, research and communication. Starting a blog is easy and allows you to follow your passion. If you are interested in cooking, write some recipes and share them with friends and acquaintances. Running a blog is much cheaper than running a restaurant. If you love writing, write a blog to see how your craft resonates with readers. If your blog is career-related, write about topics that are important to your field.

Read books. Many people underestimate the role of books, but they are excellent teachers, consultants and guides. The people who wrote them left behind priceless treasures of wisdom, guidance and knowledge. The most valuable books contain thousands of practical tips. Not ready to buy books in the store? Take one of them from the shelf at home, write down the most important things in a notebook and apply them in life.

Pay attention to what inspires you. At work and at home, you do things only because you enjoy them. What makes you happy, amuses you and gives you pleasure? It is impossible to turn work into pure pleasure, but filling your working day with pleasant moments is quite possible. Think about what you like and don't like doing at work, and spend more time doing the things you love.

Leave your home and leave your hometown. Do something outside the home. This activity doesn't have to be about your career and life goals. See or do something new: visit a museum, listen to a lecture, go to a bookstore, do something you've never done before. Find free classes. Get inspired.

If you have never left the city, find a reason to go somewhere: visit relatives in another locality, a city or country where you have never been, but dreamed of visiting. In a new environment, you can meet your second, find your life's purpose, or receive an interesting job offer. Either way, you will see something new and look at your life from a different perspective.

Talk to someone other than the cat. Pets are wonderful companions, but they do little to promote personal growth. If you're interested in a new area of ​​your life, find someone to talk to about it. Ask this person for their opinion, advice and outline their vision of the issue. If you ask the right question, people will be happy to share with you how they achieved their goals.

Find a club that interests you. If you need to find a new direction in life, meet people who are already doing something that interests you. Attend a meeting. In any field of activity, people meet and discuss issues related to changes in this environment. Writers, freelancers, builders, restaurant owners - everyone organizes such meetings.

Work for pennies. You won't earn a lot of money while gaining experience. But it's worth it. You can check out opportunities in a new field, meet people, get good recommendations and improve your resume.

Attend courses and master classes. These could be Sunday courses or master classes that do not require large financial outlays. Use this time to test your interests in new areas of knowledge. There are many courses that can be taken online.

Start small, adding the next step every day. Try new things to see how interested you are. A little experimentation and learning new material will set the stage for you to find direction and means towards your goal.

The rhythm of modern life is unpredictable. Today you didn’t even have one free minute, and tomorrow the meeting will be canceled completely unexpectedly, and you will have to be idle for several hours. How to occupy time?

Instructions

Are you lucky and have a whole day free? Go out of town. A few hours in the fresh air will lift your spirits and give you strength for the new work week. In addition, you will be able to write down in your notebook one more place that you were able to visit. Wonderful, isn't it?

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The program of a holiday or corporate event involves the concentration of participants on a specific object, be it a stage performance, competitions or others. Depending on the tastes of the audience and the nature of the event, they can be entertained by different means and methods.

Instructions

Select competitions in such a way that each guest participates and wins at least one from the list. Arrange them in such a chronological order that generally active events are at the beginning, and calm, sedentary and not requiring much mental effort are at the end. In the end, with a full stomach, guests will no longer be able to do anything difficult.

Select music taking into account the opinions of both the majority of guests and individual exceptions. Everyone should hear something they love and relate to. Just in case, prepare a supply to replace the selected tracks with those that the guests ask for.

Act relaxed. Try to capture the general mood of the audience and meet their expectations: sometimes silly and cheerful, sometimes strict and pretentious. Notice people's reactions, but don't react abruptly or instantly. Change your behavior depending on the situation.

Tell serious and funny stories from your life. Don't overdo it; too much attention on yourself can be annoying. Encourage guests to speak, but don't insist if they don't want to talk. Smooth out corners and avoid conflicts, switch everyone's attention from awkward moments to something extraneous.

Sources:

• What to do at home when you're bored? 30 ideas for activities at home

What can you do on your free day from work? Of course, rest. A change of activity is the best rest, as opposed to “wasting” the day. Of course, you also need to laze around on the couch, but there is a time for everything. Combine business with pleasure. Finish the things you have thrown into the back drawer, and then treat yourself to a sweet dessert. This is a list of things you can do to keep yourself busy, plus those things that your hands probably stubbornly refuse to “get around to.” Take a deep breath, smile and get started!

You will need

• cleaning products, detergents;
• computer, games, photo processing programs;
• stationery and handicraft supplies for crafts;
• photo album;
• cosmetics and makeup magazines;
• socket boxes;
• 500 g sour cream, 1 glass of sugar, tbsp. gelatin, water, cocoa - for making jelly.

Instructions

Take a look at the closets; perhaps a huge amount of unnecessary things have accumulated there. Empty boxes of equipment, stacks of notebooks and textbooks, broken things, spare parts from a computer. All of these are extra dust collectors, so feel free to free up space and clean up.

If you have, then this is the next place you should definitely visit. Bicycles, sleds, grandmother's carts, broken flower pots, three dozen clothespins, a pile of bags, boards, rugs, probably even nowhere to stand. It turns out that the balcony “with a slight movement of the hand” turned into a warehouse. Cleaning will take about an hour, the work may be dusty, but it’s useful - you’ll get some exercise, running up and down the steps and throwing out trash.

It's time to rest. Sit down at the computer and play for your health, for example, strategy, or even Mario. Well, you can dive into the depths of the Internet, wander through forums, watch new clips, read about films, find your distant acquaintances and “chat.” Simply put, absorb the information.

And again we start cleaning, but not ordinary, but computer-based. The system freezes, there is no space to store files, and in general, nothing can be found because the hard drive is a mess. Clean out unnecessary folders, go through the list of installed programs and games, delete everything you don’t use.

Now let’s “stretch” our fingers and imagination. There are enough holidays in the year, and if you add all the days of friends and relatives, you can be left completely without a salary, buying gifts. Therefore, try to make small gifts: handmade cards for friends, soft dolls and plush animals for nephews, a decorative pillow for mom, a funny cosmetic bag for a friend.

After skipping a cup of coffee, take care of yourself. It's time to experiment with your appearance. On ordinary weekdays, applying “Amazon” makeup is risky, you don’t have time, put on makeup, won’t have time to wash off the “masterpiece,” and then you’ll blush in front of your colleagues. Slowly, practice creating different images, flip through glossy magazines, take advantage of the tips.

Another idea is to create a photo album. Many people have now given up printing photos; they simply store photos in computer folders. But this is not entirely convenient; every time you want to show someone beautiful frames or important pictures, you need to turn on the system unit, wait for it to load and “rummage” in search of the desired photo. Another thing is a real photo album, but improved. After all, before printing, you can process the photo, add a frame, applique, signature, and create collages on the pages of the album itself. Adobe Photoshop and Corel Draw will help you prepare photos.

Finally, treat yourself to dessert. Prepare the jelly: dissolve gelatin in a glass of water and add to sour cream, already whipped with sugar. Now pour the resulting mass into 2 containers, add a few tablespoons of cocoa to one of them, mix and put in the refrigerator for 10 minutes. Take the rosettes and pour the jelly into them as follows: a layer of white, a layer of cocoa on top, again a white layer. Sprinkle with grated chocolate or garnish with strawberries and place in the refrigerator to set.
Congratulate yourself, your day went off with a bang.

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note

If you are in a gloomy mood, then first do yoga or shaping; playing sports evokes positive emotions and a surge of vivacity.

Helpful advice

To make work more fun, listen to energetic music and sing along.

It would seem that there are so many interesting things in life that there should be no question of what to do in your free time. However, some people find it difficult to find something to do, especially if they are used to focusing on work. Some people, on the contrary, have too much free time, although this happens less often.

Do what interests you, start a . Think about what activities bring you pleasure. Some people like to draw, some like flowers, and some like to make something. All people have some talents, many have several at once.

Combine business with pleasure. Do fitness, yoga or any sport that you like. Physical exercise not only strengthens and heals the body, but also helps relieve stress and relax. In winter, don't miss the opportunity to ski or skate.

Give yourself the pleasure of watching one of the masterpieces of world cinema. You will discover how many outstanding films have been made in the history of cinema, no worse, or even better, than modern Hollywood and domestic films. The same goes for books - classic fiction, historical, psychological and educational literature that can captivate and tell a lot about the world around us.

Invest time in your self-education - whatever you learn may be useful to you in the future. Of course, you should choose topics that interest you to study, those for which you have the ability, so that this activity is enjoyable for you. You can discover something completely new or develop professionally. For example, if your work involves traveling abroad, you can study a foreign language. And if you are an illustrator, it will be useful to master a new graphic editor.

Get started - communication with them has a beneficial effect on a person, even special types of psychotherapy are associated with this. You don't have to buy a dog or cat for a lot of money. There are charities that help homeless animals and find homes for them. You will receive your pet already clean and vaccinated. Before you adopt a puppy or kitten, make sure you are ready and will care for it.

In your free time, meet with friends and family more often. Come visit or invite them to your place. Attend cinemas, theaters, exhibitions or sporting events together. Communication helps a person feel at the center of life’s events and exchange with others what is important and interesting to him.

Sources:

• interesting activities in free time

Often, when you come home in the evening after work, you don’t want to watch TV or visit social networks. I want something interesting and meaningful, broadening my horizons and useful, but what exactly is not clear. In such cases, access to the Internet readily comes to the rescue, revealing a lot of useful information.

Instructions

Learn to cook. Go to the refrigerator and check its contents, and then, based on the available ingredients, find a recipe on the Internet. However, no one forbids you to improvise and try to invent your own “author’s” dish.

Make a list of movies. If you don’t feel like watching a movie at the moment, you can always start looking for options for the future. Try studying the filmography of your loved one (for example, in the early work of Brad Pitt you can find a lot of excellent but little-known films) or director (in case you missed something from Tim Burton). In addition, you can study a list of “classic” films of different genres - or simply “Top 250 in the history of cinema.”

Read. This advice may seem banal, but, as practice shows, it is the most effective. Remember that reading is not limited to the school curriculum: you can find a modern author for yourself, you can study a popular book about physics or history, you can read the biography of cult personalities. You just need to find something that interests you.

Master something useless. There is a lot of entertainment that is unlikely to bring practical benefit, but is extremely fun to master. For example, penspinning (spinning a ballpoint pen between your fingers effectively), card tricks, juggling or origami. There is a high probability that such a “momentary” hobby will result in a serious hobby, which over time will allow you to amaze your acquaintances.

Learn something new. Think back to your school curriculum: were you interested in any of the lessons? Maybe learning a foreign language was easy for you, or were physics problems interesting? Try to master these areas of knowledge in more detail in your free time - after all, they are by no means limited to the school course.

A person does not like loneliness only when he is bored alone with himself. All other people perceive loneliness as time devoted to themselves. And for this it is not at all necessary to sit within the four walls of the house.

Without leaving home

So it turned out to be a free evening. It seems that you should be happy, but there is only one thought in your head: what to do with yourself. You can spend the evening beneficial for your soul and body at home. Do some cleaning. Routine cleaning on the weekend is perceived as a chore. Therefore, most often it is done at an accelerated pace, just to finish it quickly. On a free evening, there is nowhere to rush; take apart the cabinets, table drawers, and water all the flowers. And at the end you can ventilate the rooms well and take a deep breath.

If you don’t like the cleaning option at all, take a lazy break. Prepare aromatic tea, get out all the delicious things you can find at home, and sit comfortably on the sofa with an interesting book.

Film lovers can rewatch their favorite films or organize an evening dedicated to one actor. Download all the films of your favorite actor in chronological order and have a movie show. As a bonus, you can order pizza or

I was lucky, since childhood I knew what I was going to do in life. I didn’t think about how it would benefit society or give meaning to my life, I just knew that I “wanted to be.” I grew up, my preferences changed, but I continued to understand that I “want to be.” Today I see young people at a crossroads. They choose not from who they want to be. They have no idea what to do next. And they delay this moment as long as they can. But sooner or later they have to solve this issue.

LIFE WITHOUT MEANING AND OWN DESIRE

And I'm even talking about those who would really like to change something. There are people who are structured somehow differently: their favorite object is a saucer with a blue border. Today is not about them, but about those who are quite active, do not lie on the couch, work, but do not receive much satisfaction from life. Such stories are a dime a dozen. And don’t think that they are crying, saying “there is no meaning to life.” They just catastrophically do not like their line of work. This is perhaps what unites them.

More? They are united by the original desire for a clear and understandable life. Will explain. If you read carefully what they write, you will notice how they often speak in such constructions: “I always knew (knew) what lay ahead of me - 10 years of school, 5 years of university. This predictability somehow reassured me, but what now is unclear.”

Here it is – clarity, certainty. For them, it is always clearer and closer than uncertainty. Even if this clarity is dictated by the preferences of parents and friends. They are ready to forget about their own desires for the sake of certainty.

THERE IS NO SENSE IN LIFE IN THE PHANTOM CHASE OF THE WIRES OF THE HEART

But sooner or later, in moments of weakness or another loss of spirit, a person is once again overtaken by the feeling that he is going in the wrong direction and is not living his life.

I don’t want to work in a specialty that was once chosen at random. It’s unclear what to do. Some continue to live, burying the desires that come from somewhere deeper. Yes, they get a little annoyed with life, over the years they see injustices more and more often, they accumulate dissatisfaction, but everything is better than rushing into the abyss of the unknown, they think.

Others, structured a little differently, are tossed through life from profession to profession, from activity to activity, and even from country to country. For the first, they look like loving teenagers who just can’t make up their mind. Each new revolution first gives a chance that everything will change now, and then this chance is taken away. 25-year-old Yulia told all-psy.com that after 5 years of ordeal in search of something to do with her life, she went abroad. The same amount of people have been living in a foreign country, but they still haven’t found the motivation to learn the language.

Her colleague in misfortune shares on sotis-online.ru: “I tried many different hobbies with the goal of making them a profession, but I don’t like anything so exciting or that I could do it for a long time,” the girl writes. – One or two years and I quit. As a result, I’m 36 years old, I have no abilities, I don’t have good qualifications in anything, I’m disappointed in everything.”

HOW TO NOT GET LOST IN TIME AND RECOVER THE MEANING OF LIFE

The comments to these posts are also similar: they say, stop complaining, pull yourself together and move forward. I would not dare to call these people inactive. Lost - yes. Those who did not appreciate the place and time in time - yes. People who don’t know themselves and their desires – yes. But not inactive.

With such loss, one will never repeat the action of the researcher and secretary-translator of Amnesty International J. K. Rowling, who in 1990 had the idea of ​​writing a book. Over the next seven years, she divorced her first husband and lived in poverty until she published the first novel in the series, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone.

Nor do they understand 52-year-old paper cup salesman Ray Kroc, burdened with diabetes and arthritis, who mortgaged his house and insurance to get $15,000 from the bank. He needed them for a new business, the previous ones did not burn out, but he did not intend to continue selling cups, but decided to buy out the distribution license for McDonald’s. After that, he lived another 30 years and earned 600 million.

So, you see, this requires determination, but most importantly, you need to clearly know what you want.

WHAT TO DO IN YOUR LIFE – WHAT PSYCHOLOGISTS ADVISE

Let's remember what psychologists, writers and people who have achieved something themselves recommend. Brian Tracy developed the “7 Motivational Questions” to help a person determine his main values ​​in life, his main goals. He provocatively finds out what a person would do if he knew that he had six months to live, or what he would spend the million he won in the lottery on.

Writer Bill Ridler, in his book I'm Thrilled by My Failure, suggests that it's better to make a few big mistakes in life while pursuing a temporary dream than to stay where you are. The writer insists that what you do in life should not only be enjoyed, but also be beneficial. And not only for the person himself, but also for those around him, and even better, for the future generation.
If we have no idea about our own dreams, true desires, then how can we be both happy and useful at the same time? The most we can do is be content with what we have.

“I WANT - I WANTED. MAYBE THIS IS NOT MINE?

So, general advice - do what you like. Like, “live your dreams and desires,” “don’t listen to anyone, trust yourself,” because “no one knows us better than ourselves.” If you don’t know it yourself, “write it down on paper” is a proven way to hear yourself.

Investor and writer James Altucher is confident that if you run your brain manually, coming up with and writing down new ideas every day, one day the “right idea” will definitely come to you.

However, not everyone likes to write, and not everyone can correctly interpret their desires. Complexes, fears, grievances and other psychological and intellectual garbage interfere.
For a person with chaos in his head, it is completely incomprehensible how it feels to live his dreams and trust himself. He is depressed, confused and inconsistent in his actions.

“If the desire disappears, maybe it’s not mine at all?” he is sincerely perplexed. And he falls into his own trap. And visits to a psychologist do not end in anything productive for him.

IF THERE IS NO MEANING IN LIFE, DEAL WITH THE CHAOS

So the first thing you need to do is deal with the chaos in your head. Free yourself from junk and correctly interpret, realize and understand your desires.

To begin with, let's remember that the power of desire is formed from childhood (by the way, all our unidentified desires come from childhood). What influences it? Food. System-vector psychology explains how desire is connected with food, and what impact food can have on one’s destiny.

In a nutshell, the desire for food is one of the most fundamental and natural. When the stomach is full (there is no feeling of lack of food), a person feels lazy in body and mind, he has no motivation and desire for development. A person grows up taking other people's desires as his own. He is much more susceptible to influence from the outside - parents, other people, advertising.

If you don’t have your own desires, you don’t have any satisfaction for your shortcomings. There is no feeling of fullness of life. There is no desire to realize your natural properties. There is no feeling of happiness. What is there? There is complete or partial adaptation to a forced style of behavior. And there is a “lifeline” from life in the form of the habit of “eating” your desires even deeper.
Of course, this is a thesis sketch. In life, everything is much more complex, more voluminous and more visual.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IN YOUR LIFE IF YOU WANT TO DO EVERYTHING?

There are lucky people to whom miracles happen. For example, Harrison Ford. Until the age of 30, he was considered a failed actor and even left the profession after all the scenes with his participation were cut out in one of the films. He returned to acting later, thanks to a chance meeting with Lucas.

But not everyone is so lucky. Sometimes we, even knowing about our abilities, cannot realize them. Here’s what Dasha writes on migsovet.ru: “As a child, I sang well, but I gave up vocals, although they praised me there and my parents did not resist. I went to dances, studied at an art school for 5 years, but I also didn’t want to do it, because it seems to me that I lack imagination.” Dasha studied to become a cook, studied programming languages ​​and website optimization, but each time the new job gradually turned into boring. In working with computers she lacked communication, and in sales she had too much of it. The fear of leaving again prevented me from trying my hand at working with children. In the end, the girl found a compromise with herself - she knits toys and goes to the gym (does what she likes), although she believes that this is not enough.

GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE

People with systems thinking see that Dasha speaks of desires dictated by at least a cutaneous-visual connection of vectors. The skin vector requires dynamics, constant movement in search of what it needs. The visual is drawn to the artistic perception of life, to vocals, to communication with people.

A girl could have her say in culture, contribute to the development of mutual understanding between people, develop compassion in people by her example and receive deep satisfaction from what she does in life, but she is forced to blindly search for her calling, driving herself into a state of stress .

For people like Dasha, there is good news: system-vector psychology eliminates unconscious flickering and unreasonable fear and helps you consciously find yourself. Whether to take advantage of the chance is up to each individual to decide.

CONTINUE

The path to a conscious life is not easy, I know from my own experience. For some this comes faster, for others the realization comes more slowly.

Before system-vector psychology, I read everything I could get my hands on about it. Some were repulsive with their reinforced concrete rigidity, others were disturbing with their edification, and others were constraining with their narrowness. The more I wanted to live better and happier, the more I plunged into soul-searching, and the clearer it became that there are no universal solutions. And only after training in system-vector psychology did I understand what forces operate in a person, what manipulates him, what desires drive him. The world has “really become involved” (or I have become involved in it). And the sound, and the light, and the touch became brighter. An incredible concentration of important meanings, which suddenly became simple and understandable, poured into me like a stream. Today I feel like I am whole and not fragmented.

From my own experience I can say that only by understanding the unconscious mechanisms, you understand what the “authors of trainings and bestsellers” superficially hint at.

Yes, by the way, after training in system-vector psychology, they are not needed.

The article was written using training materials on