What is mutual understanding? How to achieve mutual understanding? Why is mutual understanding between people needed?

The existence of people is determined by the mandatory ability to communicate with each other. One person passes information to another, another to a third, and so on. Data exchange allows people to understand the world around them, themselves and others like them. In the modern system of relationships between different social strata of society, it is quite important to find an approach to each other, be able to communicate correctly, and achieve consensus in conversations and discussions. And not the last place in this chain is occupied by the issue of mutual understanding between people.

Concept of mutual understanding

In life, people often face conflict situations, scandalous quarrels and human misunderstandings. All this happens because for some reason the warring parties did not find common ground with each other, did not try to come to some common denominator on a controversial issue, and simply did not want to understand each other. Situations like these make us think about what mutual understanding is. This concept is nothing more than agreement, establishing contact between representatives of society to achieve consensus or agreement on a particular issue raised for discussion. This is the thread that is the connecting link between the opinions of each representative of society in a heated dispute, issue, problem. But why is it so important to achieve this unanimous opinion? What is its significance for modern society?

Significance in society

Unfortunately, not everyone knows what mutual understanding is. Often, due to their tough character or obstinate disposition, people stubbornly do not compromise and stick to their line, even without being sure that they are completely right. In view of this, conflicts, provocations, and scandalous scenes flare up, which often lead to tragic consequences. Every conscientious citizen tries to avoid such clashes.

But how to prevent passions from heating up between the disputing parties? In fact, it is very simple - you need to try to achieve mutual understanding. After all, without agreement between people there will be no peaceful life in the global sense. This is why internecine wars flare up between states, which is why hundreds, thousands, millions of lives are lost in the battle for “truth,” unity in the struggle for which could not be achieved through peaceful means and mutual consent of the warring parties. Therefore, the problem of mutual understanding between people is of enormous importance for society.

Agreement between lovers

Not only global topics are touched upon when it comes to achieving unity in the opinion of two dissenting parties. Many individual units of society also need mutual understanding. Probably everyone knows what love is. But not everyone realizes that it is necessarily built on mutual agreement in the relationship between the two. There will be no unity in their opinion - there will be no conflict-free coexistence. If there is no contact and unanimity in resolving certain issues, a full-fledged family cannot be built. If young people have just entered into a relationship and are starting to get used to each other, without mutual understanding they will not be able to preserve their feelings and carry their love through the years to marriage and the birth of joint children. People fighting for their love must understand this.

Unanimity between spouses

An equally important role is played by a common opinion and harmony in feelings between husband and wife. Unfortunately, not every married couple knows what mutual understanding is. Very often, due to everyday worries and troubles, money issues, financial solvency or insolvency of family members, as well as raising children, certain conflict situations are created that the spouses are unable to smooth out by coming to a common position. Scandals and conflicts flare up in the family, which can be accompanied by abuse, quarrels, shouting and even assault.

Such moments ultimately lead a once happy family to collapse and lead the couple to divorce. To avoid this, they simply must comprehend the meaning of the definition and understand what mutual understanding is and how it can be achieved. By common mutual strength, constant conversations in a calm atmosphere, as well as attempts to take each other’s place in a dispute about a particular issue, young people can save their family and enjoy life together for a very long time.

Mutual understanding between colleagues

Another important point is establishing contact with work colleagues. No work process will proceed functionally and systematically in a tense environment between employees of the same company. Conflict situations at work are not uncommon. They prevent people from working, achieving their goals, growing and developing in a professional context. Therefore, here too the problem of mutual understanding is acute and requires intervention.

What to do in this case? The answer is simple: make compromises, explain to colleagues the reasons for your actions and decisions, justify the need to approve your own project, based on its reasoning and rationality. You need to strive to build good relationships with your fellow workers and try to organize the work of the enterprise together, and not put a spoke in each other’s wheels. And then it will be much easier to work in a friendly and warm atmosphere.

Established contact with management

Mutual understanding in relations with immediate management is one of the key points in the implementation of methodical, orderly professional activities. It is unlikely that anyone will be able to stay in their job for a long time if the relationship with their immediate supervisor is, to put it mildly, strained. Although personal antipathies should be abstracted from the work process, unfortunately, people often forget about this rule of professional ethics and abuse their official position, trying to take revenge on an undesirable employee by saddled with additional responsibilities that are not part of his official duties, or being particularly biased towards him.

By once and for all resolving and stipulating their personal antipathies towards each other, eliminating the root of the problem that prevents relationships in the “manager-subordinate” relationship from flourishing normally, and also by stepping over their principles and aiming at the result of their work, people can come to a consensus and further work for the benefit of your company.

Connection with peers

Often in adolescence, children have troubles and minor domestic quarrels. Modern children are generally susceptible to the harmful influence of the Internet and social networks; they withdraw into themselves and their Internet games, and are not able to communicate with living peers. In schools and universities there are always leaders and outsiders, those who make fun of and those who are made fun of. This is where teenage misunderstandings arise. Proper upbringing of parents, the work of the teaching staff and the desire of the children themselves to lead a calm, conflict-free lifestyle can contribute to the achievement of mutual understanding between them.

How to achieve mutual understanding?

The basis of human unanimity and understanding in relation to each other lies in the building of contact between people themselves. Only joint efforts can lead to them reaching consensus. The opposing sides need to direct their efforts not to proving their truth - everyone has their own, but to the priority aspects of coexistence in a couple, family, work, society. Not to incite a conflict, but to suppress it, not to contribute to the strengthening of disagreements, but to try to extinguish them - this is the only true and correct approach to finding common ground between the two warring parties. People just need to understand that the keys to all the locks are in their hands, they just need to be able and want to use them correctly.

For effective joint activities, knowledge and understanding of a person by a person is not enough. Something is needed that would ensure the psychological unity of their interaction. Mutual understanding is precisely such a factor. For mutual understanding, joint activity is not enough; mutual assistance is needed. To achieve mutual understanding between people, it is necessary to create special conditions. Here are the most important of them.

The essence of mutual understanding. The presence of many approaches to understanding the phenomenon of mutual understanding is explained by its complexity and versatility, which allows us to simultaneously consider it as a process, as a result, and as a state. Summarizing the existing points of view, we can come to the conclusion that mutual understanding should be considered a socio-psychological phenomenon, the essence of which is manifested in:

agreement by people on individual understanding of the subject of communication;
mutually acceptable bilateral assessment and acceptance of goals, motives and attitudes interaction partners, during which there is closeness or similarity (full or partial) of cognitive, emotional and behavioral responses to ways of achieving the results of joint activities that are acceptable to them.

At the same time, mutual understanding between people is the level of their interaction at which they understand the content and structure of the partner’s present and possible next actions, and also mutually assist in achieving a common goal.

For mutual understanding, joint activity is not enough; mutual assistance is needed. It excludes its antipode - mutual opposition, with the appearance of which misunderstanding arises, and then misunderstanding of man by man.

Sources (reasons) of misunderstanding can be:

absence or distortion of people's perception of each other;
differences in the structure of presentation and perception of speech and other signals;
lack of time for mental processing of received and issued information;
intentional or accidental distortion of transmitted information;
inability to correct an error or clarify data;
lack of a unified conceptual apparatus for assessing a partner’s personal qualities, the context of his speech and behavior;
violation of the rules of interaction in the process of performing a specific task;
loss or transfer to another goal of joint actions, etc.

To achieve mutual understanding between people, it is necessary to create special conditions. Here are the most important of them.

1. Understanding the speech of the interacting person. It starts with perception and comprehension of individual words, which are lexical units of speech. More precisely, not even from words, but from phonemes, from the linear sequence of which a speech message unfolds. A phoneme is usually understood as the shortest meaningful (phonological) unit of language. It must be accepted by the partner. Perception, and therefore understanding, will occur if a person already has a system of psychological signs by which phonemes are perceived and remembered.

Decoding phonemes allows you to reveal the meaning of the entire system of words that expresses a certain thought. After individual sentences are understood, insight into the meaning of the message as a whole begins. “To understand the whole message,” wrote A. R. Luria, “the perceiver must correlate the sentences with each other, select those of them that have a key, leading meaning, and formulate the general idea of the statement, and sometimes decipher the motive of the statement that constitutes its subtext." Knowing the Subtext speech is a necessary condition for “deep reading” of thoughts. It is extracted from the content of the conversation, from the general environment in which the perceived phenomena are embedded.

The context of interaction between two individuals, as a rule, includes themselves as independent individuals and the situation of their activity (behavior). Decoding signals from these components of the context will precisely create the conditions for achieving mutual understanding between people.

2. Awareness of the manifesting qualities of the interacting personality. People differ in beliefs, needs, interests, ideals, feelings, character traits, abilities, etc. These and other qualities often need to be evaluate by directly observing a person who interacted with him. This can be done only by studying actions, deeds, and his activities in general.

In actions and activities, a person manifests himself, that is, reveals his qualities to others. Assessment of qualities allows us to judge motives and goals of a person. The latter make it possible to draw a conclusion about what the partner is going to: assistance or opposition. Such a conclusion is necessary to establish mutual understanding between people.

3. Identification of the influence of the situation of interaction with a partner on the personality. This situation refers to objectively developing circumstances and conditions that favor or hinder the interaction of individuals. The environment consists of objects, things, means and tools that interacting individuals use and in which they are surrounded. Quantity and quality of furnishings, their placement in space and changes in time create specific circumstances of interaction.

The latter often encourage people to change their behavior, sometimes even in such a way that its psychological content is lost behind the external side of their actions. S. L. Rubinstein wrote about it this way: “In everyday life, when communicating with people, we are guided by their behavior, since we seem to “read” it, that is, we decipher the meaning of its external data and reveal the meaning of the resulting text in the context , having its own internal psychological plan. This “reading” proceeds fluently, since in the process of communicating with others we develop a certain more or less automatically functioning psychological subtext to their behavior.” The subtext is extracted from the personal qualities of the individual and the situation of his interaction with his partner. At the same time, communicating people act the more successfully, the more prepared they are in socio-psychological terms.

4. Development of an agreement and its practical implementation according to established rules. An official statement of interacting persons agreeing to understand and act according to certain rules obliges a lot. They are forced to fulfill their obligations, because the discrepancy between words and deeds indicates a violation of mutual understanding, and this cannot be hidden.

Compliance with the rules in practice, in life is a criterion of achieved mutual understanding. It will be higher, the more acceptable the developed agreements are for joint activities. They should not constrain partners. To do this, they need to be corrected periodically, that is, coordinate your actions. This is best done in a situation where individuals have equal rights.

These are the most general conditions for achieving mutual understanding between people. It arises on the basis and during their interaction. The latter is the root cause of socio-psychological phenomena. Mutual understanding is one of them. It must be studied, comprehended and used to improve the efficiency of joint activities of people.

Instructions

Psychologists define the term “mutual understanding” as a way of relations between people or groups of people in which the views, thoughts and emotions of all parties are realized and taken into account to the maximum extent. In practice, this means, for example, that both spouses take each other's point of view as seriously as their own. The formation of mutual understanding, as a rule, takes place in several stages.

First, people perceive each other's appearance. In this case, we are talking not only about beauty or, the whole complex of external characteristics is realized. The fact is that different people perceive information through different channels, and if for some visual data is of paramount importance, then for others only the sound part is important, and for some smells and touches are enough. One way or another, when meeting someone, people perceive primary information, and only then begin to process it.

The next important stage in the development of mutual understanding is the acquisition of information from one’s own experience. Based on their observations, people make assumptions about what character traits their new acquaintances may have for such a manner of speech, selection of color combinations, timbre of voice, type of perfume, and so on. Naturally, these assumptions may turn out to be erroneous; one must be prepared for this, since there are no rules without exceptions. Based on these assumptions, people build certain versions about the motives and reasons for certain actions of theirs, which ultimately leads to a relative understanding of the personality of another person. Of course, for mutual understanding to arise, it is necessary that this process be mutual.

Mutual understanding can only be achieved through maximum knowledge of the personality of your partner, and this desire should be shared by all people involved in communication. To learn to understand others, try to pay more attention to them, put yourself in their place more often, try not just to take their words and actions for granted, but also to explain their motives. Keep in mind that oral speech is only one of the tools for transmitting information, and there are also facial expressions, intonations, gestures, and tonality. All these channels are no less important than the actual words you hear.

Don't forget that all your efforts to get to know the other person may be in vain if your target is not interested in developing your relationship equally. If you realize that you cannot achieve mutual understanding with this person because he is simply not interested, do not waste your time and energy in vain - most likely, this will lead to disappointment.

In relationships between people, mutual understanding is almost everything. A person gets to know himself through communication with his family, with others, with work. In fact, people are constantly in relationship with everything and everyone and cannot do without mutual understanding. This is why being with others is quite important. When thinking about mutual understanding - what it is and why it is needed, it is worth remembering that this is a process that helps you understand yourself through communication with other people. Therefore, if a person has problems and it seems to him that no one understands him, he needs to start with himself and look into his soul.

Foundation of the family

A family cannot be strong if there are no such components between spouses as mutual respect, mutual support and understanding. Only thanks to them can such a great feeling as love flourish for many years. If any one of these foundations is “not functioning,” the relationship will be vulnerable. This may manifest itself in quarrels or growing mistrust.

Almost all problems that arise between husband and wife are caused by insufficient mutual understanding. If you do not respond to the situation in a timely manner, there is a risk that scandals will become chronic, and then it will be much more difficult to tune in “to the same wavelength.”

Is it possible to learn to understand each other?

This question worries not only newlyweds, but also those who, for some reason, have forgotten how to find a common language with their other half. Therefore, knowledge of how to achieve mutual understanding will be useful to everyone. To restore peace and tranquility to the family, you will have to spend time and effort, but the result is worth it.

Evenings of revelations

As a rule, household chores, work and caring for children exhaust spouses so much that in the evening they only want silence. There is practically no time left for each other, and the husband and wife stop sharing their opinions. This alienates them and creates misunderstanding. To correct this state of affairs, it is necessary to organize evenings of revelations, when the spouses are completely focused on each other. How does mutual understanding arise? You can make plans, share your experiences and thoughts, dedicate your significant other to your own dreams, or resolve accumulated conflicts.

All conversations must be conducted in a calm, friendly tone, without resorting to insults or making claims. You need to speak directly, but express your wishes gently. The interlocutor should not feel it is important to make him understand that the main goal is to find a compromise.

One conversation - one problem

Many spouses make a typical mistake that leads to complete collapse: they “throw out” at each other all the negativity that has accumulated over a long time, with every quarrel. Mutual understanding in the relationship in this case is unlikely to be achieved. The couple must clearly remember the main rule: one conversation solves one problem. You should not remember all the grievances, this will cause aggression and a desire to defend yourself in the interlocutor. This is unlikely to happen.

What does your partner want?

Thinking about what mutual understanding is and how to restore it, spouses often forget that their partner also has desires. By asking what your other half wants, you can solve many problems. But other people's needs and desires must be taken seriously, without teasing or belittling their importance. As practice shows, all of them are doable; it is enough to realize that this is of great importance for a partner. Then he will want to do something good in return and will value his family more. If you speak the same language, it will be much easier for a couple to achieve mutual understanding.

Talk about relationships!

Hushing up problems and creating the illusion of happiness is a disastrous business. Someday the negativity will still break through, but it will be much more difficult to understand each other. You need to talk about relationships, identifying the problem as soon as it appears. Then quarrels will not grow like a snowball.

Why does misunderstanding arise?

Trying to understand mutual understanding - what it is and how it arises, it is necessary to realize that “mutually” is a kind of balance. You can’t just receive without giving anything in return, so the formula “I give you, you give me” should be the basis of any relationship.

In order for the family to develop harmoniously and for spouses to successfully cope with periods of crisis, you need to understand that all people are individuals, and they have their own advantages and disadvantages. You cannot project your own thoughts onto others. You must accept them and not try to change them.

Conflicts can arise when one spouse ceases to respect the interests and needs of the other. This position will have a negative impact on the relationship and will be the first step towards misunderstanding. You should always remember that ignoring brings dissatisfaction and irritation, which sooner or later will “fall” on your other half.

Sometimes spouses do not attach importance to little things and do not worry about minor disagreements. But everything big starts with little things, and you shouldn’t forget about it. You can always find a compromise and understand the motivation of your other half, but to do this you need to show wisdom, patience and stop putting your own interests first.

When a family is going through moments of crisis, mutual understanding and respect will become the basis that will help save the relationship. Therefore, it is so important to learn not only to listen, but also to hear each other. Frequent conflicts are a dangerous signal, which means that the couple should spend more time on the problems and try to understand why this is happening.

What prevents you from understanding each other?

Mutual understanding between people depends on many factors. When creating families, partners are confident that they will live happily ever after, because at the time of signing the relationship is strong, and difficulties seem like trifles in life. But over time, the situation changes a little, because the feelings are no longer so bright, and the passion has subsided a little. There is no longer a need to spend every second next to each other and it is not as scary to offend your significant other as before. It is this period that becomes the beginning of the crisis.

Psychologists not only talk about how mutual understanding arises, but also highlight the main reasons that lead to the fact that a couple ceases to understand each other:

When one of the spouses begins to think about mutual understanding - what it is and how to regain trust and respect - this is the first step to success. Family is a daily work that brings pleasure if people love each other.

Lack of mutual understanding manifests itself in the form of a lack of respect from loved ones, trust with children, and good relationships with colleagues. Efforts must be made to change the situation

What is mutual understanding?

Mutual understanding between people is a coincidence of judgments and views, finding solutions to conflict situations. The foundation of long-term relationships is mutual understanding.

Without mutual understanding, a working relationship, love or friendship cannot exist. It is important for a person to feel the support of like-minded people in case of quarrels or conflicts. Mutual understanding is the main assistant on the path to success.

In family relationships, mutual understanding makes it easy to overcome common difficulties, maintaining family comfort and a calm atmosphere. If at the beginning of a relationship mutual understanding arises on its own, then in the process of family life it is supported by all family members.

Mutual understanding and friendship are inseparable concepts. The ability to forgive, patience and support are the main parameters of friendly relations and mutual understanding.

Reasons for lack of mutual understanding

The problem of mutual understanding can be present in any type of relationship. If mutual understanding disappears, then the relationship falls apart. Finding the reasons for what is happening will help to collect them bit by bit.

Determining the cause of loss of mutual understanding:

Selfishness and fixation on one's own interests.
Disregard for your partner's opinion.
Incorrect understanding of the partner’s words and actions.
The desire to impose an opinion on a partner, unreasonably entering into disputes.
Inability to find a compromise, be flexible and avoid conflicts.
Inability to listen and hear.
There is a big difference in the level of education/upbringing/intellectual development, when finding a “common language” becomes more difficult over the years.

An attentive attitude towards your partner will help to establish mutual understanding. Don't expect quick results - fixation on the problem of mutual understanding in a relationship can aggravate the current situation.

For an easy path to agreement, there are several tips on how to achieve mutual understanding:

Talk about everything more often. Share your thoughts, tell the news, discuss books and films. Talk more openly.
Find common things to do. If you live together, do household chores, if you are colleagues, have lunch together, if you are friends, go shopping, relax in a bar.
Pay attention. Friendly looks, smiles, light touches will have a positive impact.
Keep the good times in your head spending time together, remember why this person attracts you so much.
Forget and don't hold grudges, forgive and don’t think about the bad things in your partner
Focus on your partner's wishes. Give small gifts: treat them to ice cream, go to a movie.
Come up with traditions. You can go out with your family on Sundays for a picnic, with friends you can exchange books once a month, with colleagues you can have a “tea ceremony.” Any habits or traditions, if followed for a long time, bring us closer together.
Give in to each other. Let your partner make a choice, trusting - the relationship will become more soulful. Start by taking small steps, for example, “give in” in disputes, because the ability to give in is the basis of mutual understanding.
Don’t shy away from your partner’s problems and requests for help.. Support in difficult times with deeds, advice, do not remain indifferent.
In case of a disagreement do not allow yourself rude remarks addressed to a partner either in personal communication or when discussing “behind one’s back.” Be tactful and correct.
In case of strong quarrels, never reveal your partner’s secrets to strangers.

How to restore mutual understanding in the family?

The problem of “fathers and children”, as well as the lack of mutual understanding between spouses, has been developing for a long time. The prerequisite may be a crisis in a relationship or self-obsession.

How to restore mutual understanding with your husband?

To restore mutual understanding between spouses, it is worth keeping yourself in control during quarrels. Follow simple tips and then you will look on the bright side of your soul mate.

Start talking to your husband again. Share your experiences, opinions about the book you read, desires or memories. Conversations help you “discover” an interesting person and fall in love again.
To have more topics for discussion - start watching some movies, read books, support a hobby, find common things to do outside of everyday life. Let it be a new weekend tradition, or a new joint hobby (sports, drawing, design).
Don't impose your “action plan”, give your husband more freedom in actions and decision-making.
Don't nag for misdeeds and do not reproach for wrong decisions. The main task is to create comfortable conditions for changing the situation for the better. Example: don’t whine about not having enough money - help find lucrative job offers or help climb the career ladder; Don’t scold him for going out with friends often – find an interesting activity for him to do with his family and become his best friend.
Share your experiences and listen to your husband’s experiences. Don't remain indifferent, support. Do not conceal grievances, gently reporting the mistake, without reproaches or quarrels.
Diversify your sex life. This kind of release with new passion will bring a lot of positive emotions into boring everyday life.

How to restore mutual understanding with children?

The problem of loss of mutual understanding in the family is between parent and child. You can gain family understanding by finding a “common language” with your child and becoming like-minded comrades.

The search for mutual understanding with a teenage child is necessary for his psychological development, education of correct values and ethics of social behavior.

There are tips that will help achieve mutual understanding with children of any age:

Love and accept your child as he is. Talk more often, let your child know that you care about him. With good and bad grades, after a misdeed and a wrong decision, fuel your love with care, understanding and tenderness. Hugging more often – it brings you closer together.
Don't lie and keep promises. The child must be confident in the firmness of your words and intentions.
Listen. If a child shares his impressions and talks to you, this is important for him. In response, you need mom or dad to speak out and show interest. Express your opinion, express your experiences. Conduct an active dialogue about the child’s affairs and feelings, about what surrounds, worries or pleases.
Give the right to do what you like. Don't stop goals and aspirations in your child's life.
Don't run to help where he can handle it himself, allow him to make mistakes.
Openness in relationships, trust. Accept that parents are wrong. They must admit mistakes to the child and take responsibility for lies. Don’t hide the details of your life from your child: let him know how and with whom you work, who you are friends with, how you relax, what you dream about, what you regret. Tell us about what surrounded you at his age.
Collaborative conflict resolution. Don’t walk away from quarrels, don’t hide your grudges, and let your child do the same. Conflicts must be resolved: discuss the problem, find a way out together.
Spend more time together, do not make excuses, citing fatigue. Show interest in hobbies. With a small child you need to take more walks and go to interesting places.

A game for preschool children is a way of learning about the environment: objects, animals, people. Through games, children learn creativity, absorb and reinforce behavioral foundations, develop attention, and learn to compete.

How to maintain mutual understanding?

Mutual understanding accompanies the beginning of a love relationship. During this period, young people can talk for hours and share their experiences.

Mutual understanding between a guy and a girl at first does not require effort to maintain. But when preparing to live with a person for many years in a trusting relationship, you need to make efforts not to lose this feeling.

For a happy family life:

Continue to get to know each other. Accept the good and the bad in your partner with love, just like when you met. If your partner's new habits do not please you, do not try to change him, be patient.
Keep surprising each other, give gifts, surprises. Over the years, many people forget to please their loved ones. Pleasant little things of living together relieve the everyday atmosphere.
Don't let yourself and your partner get fed up with your intimate life. Mutual understanding in sex is an important component of a happy relationship.

Maintain good and open relationships with friends and familiar social circles.

In order not to lose mutual understanding with friends, you need to:

"don't forget" them. Don’t put off meeting for a long time, going to movies and restaurants together, or going to sporting events.
Don't refuse help. Let it be support with words, the need to listen or spend a little more time.

People spend a huge part of their time in a work environment, surrounded by colleagues and superiors. Establishing mutual understanding in a team is necessary to maintain a comfortable environment and improve performance.

Mutual understanding between employees can be established and maintained.

Follow these tips:

Avoid conflicts, quarrels, gossip. Don’t let them get involved in intrigues, “divisions” of the team and squabbles. Establish yourself as an adequate, calm, peaceful person.
Don't refuse to help your colleagues, but don’t let them push you and abuse your support.
Treat everyone equally friendly, learn to win people over.

Mutual understanding makes people more honest, relationships are kinder, and life is calmer. To be able to conquer and maintain it is the work necessary to achieve happiness and well-being, psychological and emotional comfort.