How to understand that it's time to break up. Should I leave or stay? Relationship indicator test

With this test, you can determine what exactly your marriage is more like - a dark dead end or a simple friendly coexistence. Perhaps it is time for you to study the Civil Code regarding how divorce occurs, or perhaps at this point it will be enough to simply contact a family psychologist.

Do not forget that there are no perfect marriages, but in some situations such situations are created when it is not too late to address your mistakes and return closeness and mutual understanding to the family. Using our test, you can understand how strong your relationship is, but in order to ultimately really get a reliable result, always try to answer only sincerely and honestly, and not try to pass off what you want as reality. This test asks you to imagine yourself in several situations in which you may have never even been, but you need to clearly imagine that this is happening to you at the moment, and understand how you would act in a similar situation. Try to choose the behavior that is closest to what you or your spouse would do.

Take an online divorce test

1. Do you think that for some time now your work has been taking you more and more?

2. Do quarrels and disputes often arise in your family regarding raising children?

3. Don’t you think that you are using sedatives more often?

4. Do your partner’s constant complaints about poor sleep, appetite, well-being, and so on irritate you?

5. Do you feel uncomfortable when you definitely have nothing to say to each other?

6. Do you think it is possible to combine intense and fruitful work with ease of communication in the family?

7. Do you agree that the equality of women and men is a wild invention of feminist suffragists?

8. Don’t you think that the institution of family and marriage presupposes that exclusively the female half is fully loaded with household chores and only part-time work is done by the male half?

9. Do you prefer to watch TV in the evening, during dinner?

10. Are you firmly convinced that your partner mindlessly spoils the child and indulges him in everything?

11. Don’t you think that the family climate means as much to you as success in the service?

12. Have your sexual relationships with your partner lost their charm and sense of novelty?

13. Are you sure that there should be no conflicts in a good family?

14. Don’t you think that after every quarrel the gap between you becomes deeper?

15. Is there a miracle recipe for family happiness?

16. Do you agree with the statement that love is a constant struggle?

17. Are you convinced that you put your soul into your marital relationship and do everything in your power to make it even stronger?

18. Would you consult a psychologist if you notice that for some time now you have been moving further and further away from each other?

19. Do you agree that marriage is the ability not only to speak, but also to listen?

20. Do you agree that it is better to get a divorce in time than to drag out a tedious coexistence under the same roof with an unloved person?

21. Do you agree that it is better for spouses to spend at least a month a year apart?

22. Do you easily entrust the management of your family’s financial affairs to your partner?

23. If the child goes for a walk and you are left at home alone, how often do you spend time in silence?

24. Do you enjoy laughing at a joke you have heard repeatedly in a friendly company?

25. Do cute love games still excite you?

26. Don’t you think that your relationship is improving after a long absence of one of the spouses, for example, on a business trip?

27. Do you know how to avoid topics that are obviously uninteresting or irritate your partner?

28. Do you feel more parental than marital feelings towards your partner?

29. Is your partner more of a “wallet” and a guarantee of a certain standard of living than a “pillow” on which you can cry to your heart’s content and relax?

30. Do you always notice and appreciate your partner’s efforts aimed at preserving the marriage?

31. Don’t you think that for some time now you have begun to pay more attention to your appearance?

32. Do you try not to remember past experiences and worries?

33. Don't you think that your wife shouldn't go to work?

39. Do you agree that there are successful marriages, but never wonderful ones?

40. Are you convinced that it is better not to try to plan anything in advance because of your partner’s carelessness?

The stability of your marriage is rated as high. You get along well with each other and your harmony in the family can only be envied. Well done, keep up the good work!

Your marriage is in crisis. This does not mean at all that you are not suitable for each other. However, you are faced with a number of important problems that require joint resolution.

The stability of your marriage is rated as very low. You have been seriously dissatisfied with your spouse for a long time and there is no trace left of the previous mutual understanding. It's time to take decisive steps.

You have an extremely high probability of divorce. You have been uncomfortable with each other for a long time. Understanding and mutual respect are not about you. By the way, why are you still together?

Hello dear readers of the Samprosvetbyulleten blog!

“How do you know when it’s time to break up with a man? We've known each other for several months now and I can't figure out if he's the right man or just another "balabon." Doubts gnaw at me. He says he loves me, but he might go somewhere with old friends from college on the weekend instead of spending time with me. So he can be busy for weeks for me. I know that he doesn’t have another, but it’s still unclear how he really feels about me and whether I have any prospects with him,” Victoria wrote.

“...lately I began to wonder if he is the right man? I am dissatisfied with many things in his behavior, but I feel sorry for the time spent on him, and I’m not sure that I will find something better. Before him, I was alone for 5 years. Relationships with him are like a zebra, then everything is fine - a white stripe, then suddenly a black one. I have the impression that I am the only one who needs our relationship, but he doesn’t seem to care. But if I let the relationship fall apart, then I've lost. How do you know when it’s time to break up with a man?” — wrote Irina.

Read about how to understand whether a man really loves you →.

If you are starting to wonder if you did the right thing and if it is right for you, then this is for you.

Would you like to know what red flags predict that there is no relationship prospects with this man and he will only bring problems? Most of us are not good at predicting relationships and don’t know when it makes sense to break up. In this article, I will show you red flags that warn you that a man is not right for you and should not continue your relationship with him.

13 red flags that show a man is not right for you

1. From the moment you started dating, there is no personal growth for both you and him.

Before entering into a relationship, you should experience some problems together (go through a small crisis and be able to get out of it) and be sure that you are both able to overcome difficulties. If you could not cope with the problems, could not survive the crisis and become even stronger after that, then you should think carefully before making a decision about a relationship.

2. You are not one of his three priorities in life.

He finds time to work extra hours for a big bonus, plays on the computer every day, helps his uncle in the garage, meets with a group of old friends on weekends, and goes on vacation with them. But he can't answer your call or can't meet you. This means you are not a priority in his life.

Notice the top three things he does each week. Are you on this list? If not, perhaps you are simply closing your eyes to the truth and don't want to see that you are not important to him.

3. You have a feeling that the man is hiding something from you.

It takes time for trust to develop between two people, but if you constantly feel like he's hiding something, you likely need to put in a lot more effort before committing to a relationship. You should know basic information about him, what he does for a living, his education and lifestyle.

You must be able to rely on him, to be confident that he will do what he promises. If you have a feeling that something is going on in his life and he is hiding it from you, then you are most likely with the wrong person for you.

4. The friends you trust don't like him, and he in turn doesn't like them.

When you're in love, it's unpleasant to hear criticism from friends about your new boyfriend. But if friends you trust have bad feelings about a man, then you should listen to them...

5. You never know if he will show affection or be cruel.

Accusations and attacks often go hand in hand with charm and cajoling when we are dealing with dangerous men who manifest and try to keep their victims close to them. Your safety is the most important thing and no excuse can make emotional or physical abuse acceptable.

6. He treats other people poorly.

Such a man always has reasons not to pay child support, he believes that the world has turned against him, he had a bad breakup, he is a witch, his boss is a monster, and he himself is perfect and never makes mistakes.

If he blames and scolds everything and everyone around him, perhaps he just doesn’t want to look at himself from the outside? What are the chances of building a healthy relationship with such a person?

7. He doesn't value your opinion.

He always expects you to do what he thinks is right. Every choice or opinion you make is immediately rejected by him.

Sometimes women are happy to let a man decide everything for them, but if your opinions, preferences and choices are consistently not welcomed, you are with the wrong man.

8. He has money for entertainment, but he cannot pay rent.

At first it’s a lot of fun to be with such a man. He knows how to have a good time. But over time, it becomes clear to you that he has problems with priorities if he is going to go to the Maldives with you, and he himself is in rent arrears.

9. He is already married.

I won't go into detail about married men. If this is your case, see → .

10. You are the only one who gives it all.

Relationships cannot be one-sided. If a man doesn't make an effort to develop or maintain the relationship, you will soon feel empty, exhausted and unsatisfied. If a man takes more than he gives, it's time for you to start thinking about yourself.

11. The man did something unforgivable.

Cheating, especially at the beginning of a relationship, destroys trust and then the relationship itself and cannot be tolerated. Also, any abuse and disrespectful behavior means that it is time for you to run away from the man. Men who treat you poorly should be cut out of your life. This is not the case when you need to be patient and understanding.

12. You are always trying to change a man.

You can't start a relationship and then try to change the man's behavior that doesn't suit you. Arguing, criticizing, trying to control someone else's behavior is unhealthy and creates resistance and disappointment for both partners. If there are a lot of things you don't like about a man and you want to change them, then perhaps it's time to find someone else.

13. You fantasize about past or imagined future relationships.

When we are unhappy with a man or when we have doubts about future success, we often start thinking about other people. We can compare our beau with a former love or with someone else. There is nothing wrong with the comparison itself, but when we begin to idealize past relationships and dream about other men, this is an unmistakable sign that the current relationship is terrible.

Of course, this is not a complete list; perhaps you could add to it based on your own experience. But I have given the main points that are worth paying attention to. If at least one of the points applies to your situation, it's time to seriously think about whether the man next to you is suitable.

Why do we stay in unpromising relationships?

We often hold on to unpromising relationships for too long, hoping that things will change for the better. The reason for this is the wrong attitudes instilled in us by our parents and close circle.

1. Did I win or lose?

We realize that we have made an effort, especially if the acquaintance or relationship has lasted a while and we want to get our “investment” back. For many, this is like a defeat. Some people say that if I break up, then I lost, and if I get married, then I win. That is, they view their dating and relationships through the lens of winning and losing.

The attitude “I won or lost” is formed in the family and close environment, when the child is constantly compared with other children or with his own expectations, when the child feels that the love and support of his parents is dosed, depends on conditions and must be earned. The child develops the idea that he himself has no value and is not worth love. Value lies in comparison with others, with some expectations and standards.

“If I am better than my schoolmates, brother, sister, and so on, my parents will love me more.”

Not only parents and loved ones can influence, but also peers. In order to belong and enter the circle of friends, you must meet the standards of this group. Here again, a person’s value is determined through comparison with others and is assessed from the outside.

Women who view their success in dating and relationships as a win or a loss:

allow a man’s shortcomings to destroy their emotional world;
feel like a victim of people and events;
their lives are controlled by the attitude of men towards them;
ready to please or please a man to the detriment of their well-being;
they derive strength from their popularity with other people and their approval of their actions;
they lack the courage to express their feelings and beliefs;
they are easily influenced by strong personalities.

If in dating and relationships you always have two options in your head, either “win” or “lose,” try first changing this attitude to “win or don’t get involved.” This means that if a man's behavior and his views on life and relationships do not suit you, you will not get involved with him.

With this mindset you can't lose, you either win or move on.

If you use the “no contact” attitude as a possible scenario, you feel free because you don’t have to constantly push the man to have things your way, you don’t have a negative attitude towards what is happening. If your boyfriend doesn't meet your needs, then you simply don't contact him.

2. I won't find anything better

Many women are simply afraid to be alone and therefore try to preserve what they have. It is better to be in any relationship than in none, they think. And they continue to hold on to a man with their hands and feet, even if their needs are not met and they are treated poorly.

This attitude is followed by insecure women with low self-esteem. But the truth is that there is nothing worse than being in a bad relationship. Fear of loneliness should not force you to stay with someone who is not right for you. Breaking up can be difficult and painful, but it is always better than an unhealthy and painful situation.

Many women who are now happily married may have also stopped dating an unsuitable man at some point. Life is the result of all our choices, conscious and unconscious. If you can control the choice process, you can control every aspect of your life.

If you are one of those who are afraid that they will not find a better man, try implementing the following principles into your life:

use a creative approach - look for ideas and opportunities outside the present moment and your environment;
be firm, don't be afraid to say what you want and say no when you don't want something;
clearly define your goal and move progressively towards it;
think positively;
Remember that the world is rife with opportunity.

Breaking up, even when it is the only choice, is difficult. But we must not forget that any pain is only a small part of the pain that can be in a bad relationship with a person who is not suitable for you.

The main thing is to remember that breaking up with an unsuitable man is the first step towards your true happiness.

Answering these questions will help you know whether you should stay in the relationship or whether it's time to break it off.

Relationship Inventory Part 1: Draw two columns on a piece of paper. In the first list, list all the positive qualities of your partner that you remember. The second contains all his negative qualities. For example:

Positive traits:

He's an old friend.
He is kind.
He's gentle.
He has a good job.
He is financially stable.
He is smart.
He is a romantic.
He has a good sense of humor.
He has no ex-wife or children.
He gives compliments.

Negative qualities:

His lives are too far away.
He has many health problems.
He has almost no friends.
He goes to bed much later than me.
He doesn't like to travel.
He is a pessimist and always prepares for the worst.
He suffers from excessive worry and worry about everything.
He's homey.
He doesn't satisfy me in bed.
He likes to talk to me on the phone much more than I want him to.
We have serious differences in political views.
He brags about his ex-girlfriends.
He complains about other people too often.
He constantly talks about his problems.

He's not generous.

In this particular case, the negative qualities prevailed over the positive traits.

Then think about your top 10 priorities in life and see if your partner can help you achieve them.

Relationship Inventory Part 2. List the top 10 priorities in your life. Please indicate "YES" or "NO" as to whether your partner can help you complete them.

Travel - NO
Home - NO
Generosity - NO
Sex - NO
Social life - NO
Conversations - NO
General compatibility - NO
Romance - YES
Compliments - YES
Friendship - YES

In this woman's case, the man she was dating could only improve three of the ten priorities in her life.

Once the work of creating these two lists is done, review the data to answer the final question: “Will this person improve my life?”

As you can see, for the woman in the example, it appears that her partner's negatives outweigh the positives, but the good news is that, armed with this information, she can identify the source of her frustrations in the relationship.

This gives her two options for developing the situation:

She can discuss these issues with her partner and see if the relationship can improve.
She may leave the relationship to find someone who is more suitable for her.

If you choose the latter, don't be sad because you have a better chance of finding someone who is more compatible with you mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually.

Remember, it's better to be single than to be with someone who doesn't fit what you're looking for in a relationship.

If you've landed on this page, chances are you have some doubts about the future of your relationship. Doubts can be present in any relationship, and this is normal, but it is quite possible that your premonitions indicate that the time has come to leave. Ending a relationship is always difficult, even if you know it's the right thing to do. First of all, you need to be sure that you are making the right decision, and for this you need to check if there are signs in your relationship that things are going wrong. In this article we will tell you how to do this.

Steps

Be aware of your feelings

Consider whether there is something about your partner that you don't want to accept. Do you want him changed for your sake? If yes, remember that in such conditions it will be fair if your partner expects changes from you. You can also think about what you want to change. Say out loud: “I think he’s a complete slob.” Now ask yourself, what advantages in a partner outweigh this disadvantage? If there are significant advantages in the relationship, try to accept the person as he is and do not try to change him.

If the flaw is significant, you cannot live with it, and the person does not want to change anything, it is quite possible that it is time to end the relationship.
Maybe you and your partner have different religious beliefs. If your partner does not want to accept your faith, and this is important to you, you need to seriously think about the future of this relationship.

Think about your own problems. You may suddenly realize that you don’t want to break up because you’re afraid to be left alone with some internal problems, for example, the fear of abandonment, but these fears will exist in any relationship. For example, you have been cheated on in the past, and you want to break up with a new person only because you are afraid of getting attached and opening up, and then feeling the pain again. This is not the best reason for breaking up. You need to understand your problems, not run from them.
- If you feel like your personal problems are getting in the way of your relationship, talk to your partner about them so you can see together if a solution can be found.
Think about whether you are maintaining this relationship only because you do not want to offend your partner. If you tend to think about other people's needs, then it's possible that you don't really want this relationship, but are afraid to tell your partner that it's over. You need to understand that you are not doing him any good by staying with him just out of pity. Read about how to avoid being a person who strives to please everyone around you.
- If you know that there is no prospect for you in this relationship, it is best to end it as soon as possible, because this way you will give your partner a chance to recover faster from the breakup and find a more suitable mate.
- It's best to end a relationship during calm times, but that doesn't mean you have to put it off because of birthdays, weddings, Valentine's Day, New Year's with family, and other events that might make a breakup awkward. All this can drag on endlessly, and there is no ideal time for a break, although, of course, you can find a more or less suitable moment.
Think about whether you are staying in a relationship because you are afraid of being alone. Are you worried that you may not have a partner? Often people stay in relationships because they don't want to be alone, but being with someone to take advantage of them is not only unfair to that person, but also to yourself, because by doing so you are not allowing yourself to develop as a person. Learn to live without a partner and be optimistic.

Be prepared to accept the fact that you just stopped loving your partner or that your partner just stopped loving you. Nobody knows why we fall in love with some people and are indifferent to others. Sometimes there is simply no attraction, and sometimes only one in a couple has feelings. It happens. It hurts, but it's no one's fault. You can't force yourself to love yourself. You may have been madly in love with your partner at some point, but how long did it last? The sooner you understand your feelings, the sooner you can do something about the situation.

Meditate. Sit alone for a while with your eyes closed, concentrating on your breathing. While this won't necessarily open your eyes to what you should do with your relationship, it can help you clear your head. You might not have enough time to calmly think things through and listen to your mind and body.

Think about whether you are embarrassed to appear anywhere with your partner. This is a very important point. If you go to a party with friends or colleagues, do you invite your partner to join, knowing that he is smart and interesting? Or are you trying to come up with reasons not to take him with you because you don't like being around him?
- Of course, there are some very modest people, and some things are better done without your partner, but overall you should be proud of the person who is next to you, and enjoy the opportunities to introduce everyone to them. If you don't like the idea of being seen together, can you be happy in a relationship?
Think about your partner
1. Consider whether your relationship is built on manipulation and control. This is not a healthy relationship, and to fix it, the controlling partner must change completely. If he cannot or does not want to do this, the relationship needs to end as soon as possible. If you feel like your partner is watching everything you do and threatens you with violence if you want to do things his way, you have a big problem.
  - If you are being manipulated or controlled, it is best not to tell the person about the breakup one on one. If you are afraid that he will be violent towards you, do it from a distance and ask your friends to help you protect yourself.
2. Think about whether your partner respects you. If he truly values you, he won't put you down or criticize you for no particular reason. A loving person criticizes constructively, and this allows you to grow as a person, but if you are humiliated just like that, we are talking about a completely different attitude. For example, if you drop or accidentally break something and your partner says something like, “You're an idiot, can't you do anything right for once in your life?” that means you should end your relationship with that person. and build a relationship with someone who will take care of you.
  - Lack of respect can manifest itself in small things. For example, a partner may make fun of your appearance, make caustic remarks about your performance, or hint that you are bad at something. This is also disrespect, no matter how minor it may seem.
3. Pay attention to whether your partner scolds you often. Arguments happen, and they can even be healthy because they allow you to constructively discuss grievances. But if your partner constantly yells at you, disagrees with you, calls you names, and is gratuitously cruel, it's time to run away from him.
  
  Consider whether your partner is embarrassed about your relationship. This very important moment. If he is embarrassed to go out with you or even tell people that you are dating, this could be considered a warning sign. It is very difficult to justify such behavior, except in cases where the partner is a minor or must hide the relationship from overly authoritarian parents. But if a person wants to keep the relationship a secret from friends and acquaintances or refuses to take your hand in front of everyone, it's time to cut off this connection. You should strive to be in a relationship with someone who is proud of you, not ashamed of you, because you deserve only the best.
  
  Analyze who usually initiates intimacy. If only you always want intimate relationships or only you strive to bring something new into this relationship, most likely this indicates a problem. It is especially unpleasant if you constantly have to ask a person to kiss you when meeting or saying goodbye. Don't be afraid to talk about it. Perhaps your partner has a problem with intimacy or doesn't want to touch you because you cheated on him. Whatever the difficulties, it is necessary to solve these problems or end the relationship, because there is no other way out of this situation.
  
  Pay attention to whether your partner is forcing you to do something you don't want to do. If he forces you to drink alcohol and you don't like him, or forces you to have sex when you are not yet ready, involves you in his ill-considered behavior (for example, speeding or attacking passers-by), and generally behaves in such a way that that you are scared, stop such relationships. This person does not respect your needs and desires, and you will be able to find another partner who cares about you.
  - You may not immediately realize that you were doing something you didn't like just to avoid upsetting your partner.
Analyze the relationship
1. Think about whether other people have warned you about the behavior of the person you are dating. Although you shouldn't end a relationship just because someone suggests that you can find a better mate, you should consider the opinions of close friends, relatives and even strangers if they all tell you to run away from your partner as soon as possible. If they make valid arguments (for example, the person doesn't love you or wipes his feet on you), you should consider breaking up.
  - Of course, not everyone will understand what your relationship is based on, and you cannot evaluate this relationship from the point of view of other people. But if absolutely everyone is telling you to leave your partner, you should at least think, do all these people have grounds for such advice?
2. Consider whether events are moving too quickly. Relationships need to have their own pace, and everyone needs time to get to know each other better. If you only met a month ago but are already thinking about moving in together or getting married, chances are it's the feeling of connection with the other person that you both enjoy rather than the person themselves. If you feel like you're in a relationship but you barely know the person you're dating, you should either slow down or stop.
  
  Think about whether you are talking about the future. Of course, if you're 15 years old, talking about marriage, living together, work, children together and other issues may be inappropriate, but if you're 25 or 35 or have been dating for several years, conversations about the future should come up naturally. If you have been together for quite a long time, but neither of you sees a future beyond one month, most likely this is due to the fact that you do not consider each other worthy partners for a promising relationship. In this case, you should think about whether it makes sense to stay in such a relationship further.
  
  Consider whether there are serious problems in the relationship. There are more or less obvious signs that indicate the need for a break, but there are also things that almost always indicate that you need to either completely change the relationship or end it. If the following applies to you, consider breaking up:
  - You have experienced physical, psychological or sexual violence; you have had your money taken from you or otherwise taken advantage of, causing your health and mental well-being to suffer.
  - Your partner constantly pressures you into doing things you don't like, such as involving you in criminal or dangerous activities. Harsh ultimatums and threats can be considered factors indicating the need for a break. Don't be fooled by the idea that if you truly love your partner, you will do whatever he asks.
  - There is struggle or frustration in almost every area of a relationship: communication, sex life, finances, and emotional connection.
  - There is a lot of jealousy in the relationship. Your partner should not limit your freedom and dictate who you can communicate with and when. He doesn't control your social life - you control it.
  - Your partner has been using alcohol or drugs for a long time and cannot give up this habit, as a result of which your life and the life of your children suffer.
  - You yourself are addicted to alcohol or drugs. Staying in this state in a relationship does not make your partner's life or your life better.
  - Your relationship was built on unreal values that you no longer need: for example, going to parties together, sharing hobbies, or having sex without feelings, but you feel that you are no longer interested in it.
3. Think about whether a situation has developed in which you either break off the relationship or return to it again. A loving person always loves, no matter what the situation is, so if your couple breaks up and then gets back together, you should put an end to it, because in such a relationship something goes wrong. Don't go back to old problems, save yourself the headache and broken heart - there are other people waiting to meet you.
  
  Consider whether your goals in life conflict with each other. If you want to become a marine biologist and travel the world, but your partner dreams of working as a teacher and living in the city where he was born, close to family and friends, your interests are conflicting. If you don't want children, but your partner wants seven and is ready to start working on it right now, think about it. If you can't give up on the future you want for yourself and the decision needs to be made quickly, you should break up.
  - If you're a teenager, your plans for the future may still change, and you have time to think about everything. But if you need to start planning for the future now, and your plans don't overlap, it's time to rethink the relationship.
4. Think about whether any of you have been unfaithful, especially more than once. Cheating is always bad, regardless of whether you've cheated multiple times or just slipped up because you're unhappy in your relationship. You can learn to forgive each other, but if everything repeats itself over and over again, most likely it will not work to go back and start all over again. Perhaps cheating is a way of telling each other that this relationship is not enough for you.
  
  Think: maybe you just grew apart? This is especially hard to admit. You may have loved each other very much when you were young, but now you're just different people with different sets of friends, plans, and interests. If the only thing you have in common is your past together, then it's time to move on. This is one of the most painful reasons for a breakup because it is no one's fault. You may have tender feelings for each other, but this does not mean that you should stay together if it does not suit the people you are today.
  
  Remember if you have secrets from each other. Any secrets are cheating, even if you didn't cheat, and this is bad because it shows a lack of trust and respect in the relationship. You shouldn't hide anything other than surprises for your significant other. This is not the same as refusing to complain to your loved one about work because you know that he will quickly get tired of it. Rather, an example of incorrect behavior might be the desire to keep secret the fact that you went for an interview with a company where the job means moving to another city, and you do not know what you will do if you get it.
  
  Think about whether you are ready to try for each other. If you used to have romantic picnics, go on hikes, come up with fun dates, and take care of each other when you have a cold, but now you don't even want to pick up the phone when your partner calls or answer his text, this means you need more do for each other. If you don't want it, deep down you feel like the relationship isn't worth it.
  
  Assess how much time you spend away from each other. It is quite possible that you have already parted mentally. If you spend each weekend with your friends, visit relatives alone, or just mind your own business and refuse to spend time together (like watching TV in separate rooms), you're already distant enough. In this case, it is best to break up.
Take action

There may come a moment in a couple’s life when it’s as if the scales fall from their eyes and they realize that that’s it, this cannot continue. The relationship has reached a dead end and you need to end it right now, because it is poisoning your life and preventing you from moving forward.

But how do you understand that you cannot be together? After all, we girls tend to drag relationships down with us as a dead weight due to pity, habit, or some other feelings. By what signs can we say “Stop” to ourselves?

1. Insufficient communication

In the early days of your relationship, neither of you could go an hour without calling or texting each other. This was the norm. Now sometimes it even seems to you that he is deliberately ignoring your attempts to contact him.

2. No talk about the future

One of the most natural and delightful parts of any relationship is planning for the future together. Vacation plans, dreams of where you would like to build a house, coming up with possible names for future children - all this gives a feeling of security, the idea that you will always be together and grow old together. Try broaching the topic now - all you'll get is a muffled nod. Neither of you wants to discuss anymore where you want to go this summer or where you want to go on the weekend.

3. Reluctance to make an effort

At first, you couldn't decide what to do for both of you: hiking or a picnic on the river bank - everything was equally delightful and romantic. Now you don’t even want to make an effort and go to a restaurant or to the cinema in order to somehow support your outgoing passion. Your option now is to sit apathetically at home and watch TV. And it's good if together.

4. Quarrels become personal

You used to have minor, frivolous quarrels. Now this is a real war, where all means are good. You know each other's weak points and vulnerabilities well and use them to simply “get” your partner.

5. Quarrels break out instantly, everything is annoying

Even a slight hint that seemed annoying to you leads to you rushing into a quarrel without additional warning. If this is the case, then we can assume that you have deep grievances that poison the relationship. You will never look at your partner with the same eyes again.

6. Quarrels in public

If this happens, it means you absolutely don't care whether anyone finds out about your problems, this is a sign that you have lost all respect for each other.

7. The desire for independence

At first, you were eager to spend every free moment together, starting with showering together in the morning. Now all you want is to meet with friends or even work overtime, just not to be together more than necessary.

8. Loss of trust

No comments here, because trust is the basis of any successful relationship.

9. Change in Perception

Do you remember when his button nose touched you and seemed charming? Or his short, strange laugh? How funny and affectionate he seemed! Today the same nose makes him look like a hog, and his idiotic laugh is completely annoying.