Condolences on the death of a young girl. How to properly express condolences over a death

When a loved one dies, those around them rush to express their regret to his relatives. But how to properly show your gratitude to them and respond to condolences, because the word “thank you” is not very appropriate now?

Mourning etiquette

If a person dies in your family, it is a time of difficult worries. First of all, you will have to inform everyone about the incident. This is not easy to do, but it is necessary.

According to mourning etiquette, you need to notify all your acquaintances, even if they are far away and even those whom you personally do not like, but may have had a good relationship with the deceased.

For those who live nearby, it is better to inform them when you meet, but it is impossible to get around everyone; there is an option to send messages by email or SMS, but this is not very polite, and suddenly the person does not receive them. Therefore, it is better to call in person and say at least a few words. And also be sure to tell us where and when the funeral will be, leave your contact information so that people can clarify the information.

It turns out that you are in grief and you have to do a lot of things: communicate, run around shops and funeral homes. Nothing can be done, gather your will into a fist. Now this is the best thing you can do for the deceased - to see him off with dignity on his last journey.

People will come to the ceremony, some you don’t even know, they will want to express words of sympathy, think about how to react to them.

How to respond to condolences regarding a death?

There are no special rules on this topic; it is often difficult to find words in such situations. You can remain silent in response or simply nod, rest assured, everyone will understand your condition.

Or use template phrases:

"Thank you";
"You are very attentive";
“I try not to lose heart, thanks to you it’s easier for me.”

Everyone has different characters, some want to spend these minutes alone, while others, on the contrary, are uncomfortable being left alone with their own thoughts. If you belong to the first category of people, don’t be shy.

Of course, you will have to worry about organizing the funeral, welcoming guests, everyone will be interested in knowing the details of what happened, especially when the death was unexpected.

But this does not mean that you should now talk a lot and listen to the lamentations of some aunt from a distant province. Accept her support and go about your business. Even if she is a little surprised by this behavior, it’s okay, explain later.

When you come to a funeral...

The opposite situation - you are paying a condolence visit, how to behave correctly? Remember some simple rules:

Do not dress flashily and brightly; dark colors are appropriate now: women in long skirts, men in suits;
Bring napkins or a handkerchief so you can wipe away your tears when your feelings become overwhelming. Or maybe someone present will need the supplies;
Remove large jewelry and leave large bags at home;
Have a conversation, but keep silence;
And don’t follow the coffin, let your relatives go ahead.

Do you understand that you need to approach your loved ones and communicate, show your participation, but you don’t know what words to use when expressing condolences? Take simple phrases:

« It’s difficult for me to find the right words to console, but I sincerely sympathize with your grief»;
« I'm deeply shocked by what happened, hang in there…»;
« Let me offer you my condolences».

If you are far away at the time of the funeral, it’s okay; it is believed that you can communicate with your family at another time. This will not look like a belated reaction, on the contrary, you came as soon as you could, which means you remember and worry.

How should you respond to condolences about death?

Work colleagues, friends and acquaintances will begin to offer financial assistance or any other kind: transportation, a room for a funeral - whoever can.

It should be accepted - this is normal, you will agree that it is not superfluous. The main thing is not to bow out in gratitude and do not shower yourself with compliments, thank calmly. In this situation, you would have done the same.

And I would also like to warn you - the modern funeral industry works very quickly and with pressure. You will be surprised, but sometimes, before they have time to send the deceased to the morgue, people answer phone calls from funeral agencies who are in a hurry to express sympathy and offer services.

Take your time to take advantage of these offers, come to your senses first. The prices and capabilities of funeral companies are very different. In a couple of hours, when your thoughts have recovered a little, you will be able to more adequately evaluate the price list. Talk to your friends, they may offer advice or be able to help with transportation and other matters.

Funeral meal

After the burial, it is customary to invite people to the wake; everyone comes. Christians traditionally serve pancakes and kutya (a dish with wheat, nuts and raisins).

At the wake, those who wish to speak about the deceased, but it is not customary to say bad things; it is better to remain silent. What can you tell those present and how?

It is better to perform standing;
Start with the address: “Friends”, “Dear relatives”;
Introduce yourself, tell us how you know the deceased;
List his positive qualities. Even if you think that there were not many of them, the negative ones can be presented from the opposite side: grumpy- was critical of life, silly- trusting, stubborn- principled;
You can remember interesting incidents from life. Sometimes people read corresponding poems, their own or the author's.

The main thing is not to delay the speech, there are others who want to, and this is not the case. Draw conclusions that the person did not live in vain, offer words of condolences, and give way to the next one.

The death of a loved one is always a difficult event, but you have to take care of business, organize the funeral process - you have to pull yourself together. To make it a little easier for you to think of how to respond to condolences, use the phrase templates that we have offered you.

The main thing is to remember - life goes on, a good memory of a deceased person can become his reward for everything he did.

Video: how to express condolences correctly?

In this video, Islam Abaev will tell you how best to express condolences regarding the death:

When loved ones die, correctly selected words of condolences from those nearby are needed to console and support them in difficult times.

The proposed material provides examples of condolences to friends in connection with the death of relatives as a consolation to the grieving.

If you have to attend the funeral of relatives of friends, you should not remain indifferent to what is happening.

The spoken words of condolences are a tribute to the dead and support to the living.

But you should be careful in choosing your words, taking into account the stressful state of people facing loss.

When speaking words of support to the relatives of the deceased, you must adhere to the following recommendations:

Rules	Explanations
Sincerity of emotions	There is no need to be ashamed of feelings, brush away tears and hide emotions. Genuine empathy will ease the pain of loss for those grieving
Offer support	Be sure to offer help, even if it is not necessary. The very fact of offering support is important
Saying a congregational prayer	Regardless of the religion of the mourners, sincere prayer will unite those present and help them withstand this test.
Remember the deceased	Talk about the advantages of the deceased, the situations associated with him, without mentioning possible disadvantages
Keep it short	There is no need to prepare a long speech, just a few short, sincere phrases are enough. Funerals are not the place for long rants.

Death always comes unexpectedly, bringing grief to family and friends. It especially hurts when the farewell is premature.

It would be immeasurably more difficult for Kemerovo residents, parents of dead children, to survive grief if they were left alone. But with words of support, the whole country shared their suffering.

There is no need to pass by indifferently; sincere condolences will not relieve the pain, but will show the mourners that they can always count on the support of friends.

When expressing condolences on the occasion of death, it is strictly forbidden to:

As a consolation, argue that the pain will decrease over time. For those who have lost loved ones, especially children, the thought of further existence without communication with them is unacceptable.
At such a moment, people do not think about the future - pain completely absorbs the mind, crowding out everything else.
Search for the culprit - if such accusations concern the deceased or his relatives, such a reproach will only bring additional torment to the mourners. You shouldn’t bring additional negativity, it won’t make it any easier for anyone. There is no need to remember past grievances.
Show excessive curiosity, clarifying the circumstances of the death, asking about the state of affairs of the deceased and other things.
Using cliched phrases or speaking in verse - excessive theatricality or dryness will emphasize the lack of sincerity. In addition to words, light hugs and touches will be a consolation.

Important! Sincere feelings will always suggest the right words and help prevent tactlessness, even if emotions are not restrained by reason.

Memory in connection with the death of a mother, child and condolences in your own words to a friend

If a friend is faced with grief such as the loss of her mother, she especially needs support and help.

Even if you are in a quarrel, it’s time to forget about past disagreements. You should not think about the fact that you will not be welcome, choose special words in advance and be tormented by doubts about the appropriateness of the visit.

Simple short phrases said in your own words will help:

I grieve with you, it’s easier to endure grief together.
Hang in there, I know how much your mom meant to you.
Such a loss is always a great pain, I want to share it with you.
It's not easy to find words, don't forget, I'm always ready to help.

The death of a child is a particularly difficult experience for a mother. It is an unnatural situation when you have to mourn your children. You wouldn’t wish this on anyone, so words of support are especially important.

It would be appropriate to say:

My condolences, such a loss is impossible to come to terms with.
I am shocked by this news and mourn with you.
What happened was a ridiculous mistake, I can’t wrap my head around it. I empathize with all my heart.
I can't imagine how hard it is for you right now. I sincerely sympathize.

Avoid learned and unnatural phrases, poetry is especially inappropriate. Take time to support your friend in person.

If this is not possible, be sure to call, but do not resort to SMS - written phrases cannot replace living words of participation.

The person will understand that you did not call if you know the phone number. The last option is to write a message by email if you cannot call.

Don’t be afraid to approach a person and support him if you didn’t do it in a timely manner.

If you took too long, apologize, citing the circumstances as an excuse (long business trip, etc.).

Condolences are also appropriate on the anniversary of a mournful date, when the memory of the sad event returns again, and the feeling of loss intensifies again.

Remember the sad dates of close friends and acquaintances in order to support and be there in a timely manner.

Short eulogy at a funeral

Attending a funeral is a forced and always sad necessity.

When you find yourself at such an event, you must make a short speech in memory of the deceased, addressing his family. If you didn’t know this person closely, general phrases will suffice.

Farewell words to acquaintances should not remain impersonal; put sincere emotions into the address, emphasizing that you understand the severity of the loss.

Short examples of funeral speeches:

The deceased remained a kind and sincere person until his death. He did a lot for me and will be remembered forever.
He went through life spreading goodness. It's a shame his journey was cut short.
I feel deep regret and grief over the death of my father and grandfather. He will be missed by all of us.
I don’t know how to express the pain, I can’t find the words. She will always be with us.
The sunny day darkened due to such an event, I express my sincere sympathy.

Sorrowful short examples of condolences

To support the relatives of the deceased, a few short phrases are enough. Death is not a reason to practice eloquence. The very fact of presence and support and the help offered will say more.

If friends, colleagues or acquaintances are faced with loss, the words of sympathy would be appropriate:

My condolences in your grief, we will help and support.
I remember you were happy together. I'm grieving.
I'm sorry I wasn't there when it happened. Count on support.
I can't wrap my head around this death, I sympathize.
No words can ease the pain, my sincere condolences.

Words of sincere support to friends regarding the death of relatives is the least that can be done. Do not remain indifferent to the grief of even a stranger, and let trouble pass you by.

Useful video

Conveying condolences for a loss sincerely and tactfully is always difficult. Especially if you have to do it in person. There are certain forms of etiquette that will make communication go smoothly, despite the tragedy of the moment. We hope our advice will help you to hold yourself with dignity and show your best sides.

Examples of words of condolences

To find the right expressions, you need to gather your thoughts and look inside yourself.

Don't try to hide behind dry clichés, but don't be too emotional either. Never use swear words in speech.

If you have to express condolences in writing, avoid exclamation marks. Be brief and straightforward - the person is gone forever, and this cannot be hidden by any softening expressions.

How formal your appeal will be depends on the specific case, but it is imperative to end it with a question about how you could help.

In both written and oral form, you can use the following text as an example:

“A wonderful man has passed away. I send my condolences to you and your entire family at this sad and difficult moment”;
“I mourn your loss. I know this is a hard blow for you";
“I was told that your brother died. I am very sorry and I send you my condolences";
“I want to express my deep regret at the death of your father. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know."

When is it customary to express condolences?

Time, like words, is also of great importance. You should be tactful towards the loved ones of the deceased.

Typically, those who want to express sadness over someone's death have two concerns: Will I disturb the mourners and is it too late (or too early) to turn now?

The first point is psychological.. It happens that you have no experience in such conversations, or you are afraid to enter a house that has recently been visited by death, or during the life of the deceased you did not get along with his family... Most often, people simply torment themselves, feeling that they are obliged to come or call, but are afraid to see someone else’s grief and do not know how to behave in such a situation.
The second point relates to moral behavior. Is it possible to call the family of the deceased as soon as you have learned the dark news? Is it worth waiting for the funeral to support his relatives there? And if you were not invited to the funeral or commemoration, then when should you show up with condolences? Will it be too late in a week?

No matter how difficult and scary it may be for you, you should show up or call when you feel that it is expected of you. For example, a friend, relative, or neighbor needs consolation. Also, if you know that your presence or a few kind words over the phone will encourage the person, you should do so on a “if not me, then who” basis.

You may not be best friends, you may not have been in this family for a long time, but sometimes support is needed from strangers, especially if the grieving person is lonely and unprotected. These could be pensioners, widows, orphans, young mothers with a baby, or simply closed people who find it difficult to count on help.

Don't get overly embarrassed. Even if you are received distantly or asked to be shorter and leave, then at least your behavior will be correct.

Still, most mourners need and expect visitors and calls. If you are close to them, call as soon as you find out about the grief. If not very close, it would be more formal to come or call in the first three days after the funeral.

A maximum of a week later, it is customary to bring condolences from employees at work, and if you contact them even later, then prepare a short excuse (they didn’t know, they were in another country, etc.).

What not to say

Well-worn phrases, which can be used to get away with it if a friend is just having another problem, are absolutely not suitable during the period of mourning for the deceased.

loss of a loved one

Condolences on the occasion of death will show true empathy for the loss of a person who is experiencing great shock and needs moral support. Death is always around us, but we notice it only when it knocks on our house or the house of a truly loved one. Such a death takes you by surprise and no one is ever prepared for the fact that on that day they lost someone dear to them. As Bulgakov once noted in his immortal masterpiece, the problem is not that man is mortal. The main problem is that he is suddenly mortal.

Texts of condolences

I mourn your loss. I know this is a hard blow for you
We offer our sincere condolences to all family and friends
I was told that your brother died. I'm very sorry, I mourn with you
A wonderful man has passed away. I send my condolences to you and your entire family at this sad and difficult moment.
This tragedy has hurt all of us. But of course, it affected you the most. My condolences
I understand how difficult it is to lose a loved one. I'm really sorry. Perhaps I can help you with something now?
Sincere condolences to family and friends. Big loss for us. Her memory will be in our hearts. We mourn together with our families.
Please accept our sincere condolences. May God reward her in heaven for all the good she did. She is and will remain in our hearts...
We offer you and your entire family our deepest condolences on your tragic death... We share your grief and offer you words of support and consolation. We pray for the deceased... With condolences,...
Sincere condolences to the family and friends of the untimely departed... from our entire family. It is very bitter to lose your loved ones, family and friends, and doubly bitter if the young, beautiful and talented leave us. May God rest his soul.
Everyone who knew him is grieving now, because such a tragedy cannot leave anyone indifferent. I understand how difficult it is for you right now. I will never be able to forget him and I assure you that I will support you in every possible way, should you contact me.
We mourn with you the untimely passing of... Over the years of our friendship, we knew him as.... This is a great loss for everyone, we express our sincere condolences to the parents, all relatives and friends. May God bless his soul.
They say they love their grandchildren even more than their children. And we felt this love of our grandmother (grandfather) to the fullest. Their love will warm us all our lives, and we, in turn, will pass on a piece of this warmth to our grandchildren and great-grandchildren - may the sun of love never fade...
There is nothing worse and more painful than losing a child. It is impossible to find such words of support to ease your pain even a little. One can only imagine how difficult it is for you right now. Please accept our sincere condolences on the death of your dear daughter.
Dear... I may not have known your father very well personally, but I know how much he meant in your life, because you so often spoke about his love of life, sense of humor, wisdom, care for you... I think that many people will miss him grab I pray to God for you and your family.
There are no words to express how deeply we mourn the death... . She was a wonderful, kind woman. We cannot even imagine how much of a blow her passing was for you. We miss her endlessly and remember how she once... She was a model of tact and mercy. We are happy that she was in our lives. You can count on our help at any moment.
I am truly sorry for the loss of your dad. I express my sincere sympathy to all of you and know this is a very sad and sad time for you. I know from my own life how deep the loss is when you realize that he will no longer be in your life. I can tell you, the only thing that can help you get over your loss is your memories. Your father lived a long and full life and achieved a lot in his life. He will always be remembered as a hardworking, intelligent and loving man. My thoughts and prayers will be with you all. May you find solace in your family and friends who share your loss. My deepest condolences.

Condolences in verse

When parents leave
The light in the window fades forever.
Father's house is empty and maybe
I dream much more often.

* * *
Sleep, my angel, peacefully and sweetly.
Eternity will take you into its arms.
You held yourself with dignity and steadfastness
Survived these hellish torments.

* * *
On this day full of heartache,
We sympathize with your misfortune,
Our life, unfortunately, is not eternal,
Every day we are getting closer to the line...
Our condolences... Strength of spirit
We wish you at this moment,
May the earth rest in peace to those close to you,
May the Almighty protect you from troubles.

When you left, the light went dark,
And time suddenly stopped.
And they wanted to live together forever...
Well, why did this all happen?!

* * *
Thank you, dear, for being in the world!
Thank you for loving me.
For all the years that we lived together.
I ask you not to forget me.

We remember, dear, and mourn,
The wind blows coldly on my heart.
We love you forever,
No one will replace you for us.

* * *
How we loved - only the Gods know.
Only we knew how we suffered.
After all, we went through all the hardships with you,
But we could not step over death...

What does true empathy look like?

Real support should not resemble standard ritual phrases that are said just for the sake of saying. These phrases will not play a decisive role for anyone who has just lost the most dear person on the entire planet. How to express condolences on death? What rules should you follow so that your words of condolences regarding death are not perceived as words without meaning and content?

The first rule is: Don’t keep your feelings in your heart.

Did you come to the funeral? Come and describe what you feel now. Don't hold back your emotions and feelings. There is no need to be ashamed of what you feel. After all, it was not in vain that you came to this funeral and knew the person. Sometimes it is better to say a few kind words through tears and hug the relatives or loved ones of the deceased than to speak hundreds of words, playing the role of a great speaker. Warm words are what everyone is waiting for, from whom heaven has taken away a piece of their soul.

Second rule: Condolences about death are not just words.

Can't find the right words for this situation? Don't say too much. Sometimes it's better to just hug or touch the grieving person. Shake hands, cry next to you. Show that the person was not left alone in this grief. Show your grief as best you can. You shouldn’t do everything in a formulaic way and pretend that you’re very sorry if you’re not. A person will immediately understand where there will be falsehood and where there are true feelings and words. A simple handshake is a good chance to express condolences over a death for those who are not very close to the family of the deceased, but came to pay tribute by seeing the person off on his last journey.

Rule Three: Offer whatever help you can.

You shouldn’t limit yourself to just words of grief. Not only in word, but also in deed! This rule has always been relevant. You can offer your help to the family of the deceased. For example, a mother with children could lose their sole breadwinner, which means that all these people become victims of deteriorating financial conditions. It is not necessary to help with money. If you can help in another way, offer to help. Such a move will only confirm that you are helping not only with words, but also with deeds. Don't turn your condolences into dead sentences with your words. Back them up with action. Even banal help in organizing a funeral can become very valuable in the eyes of a grieving person who received a blow below the belt so unexpectedly. Do good deeds and they will be appreciated more than just words.

Fourth rule— Pray for the deceased along with people who have lost a loved one.

Sincere prayer can be seen from afar - this is what all priests and monks say. This is exactly what should be done in the case of condolences. After a few words, the grieving person should pray for the deceased along with the one who is now experiencing the loss. Prayer calms all believers and will bring at least a little harmony into the wounded heart of the grieving person. Prayer distracts even from the greatest grief. Ask God for consolation for those who are suffering severe torment and do not understand why fate took a loved one from them. The prayer will not take much time, but will leave a wonderful impression on those who are now standing in front of you in black clothes and calling on heaven for help and asking for a logical explanation.

Fifth rule - Remember everything positive that you know about the deceased.

In order to say real words of consolation, you need to remember all the best things that connect you with him. Did you play football together as a child? Come and tell me that you couldn't find a better teammate. Did he save your dog? Did you let me cheat in class or in university classes? Remember this too. Mentioning original moments from the life of the deceased will only make loved ones smile. If a smile does not appear on your face, it will be in your soul. The deceased could teach you a lot and bring you joy. Share your memories and in a few minutes you will do the impossible - give a spark of joy to those who are now grieving. Did you have a bad relationship with a person who left this world? Then you should understand that people close to him are not to blame for the small disagreements between you. Forget about all the problems that have happened so far, because when trouble knocks on the door, you should forget about everything.

Rule six: Don’t talk about how things will be easier in the future.

There is no point in telling parents who have lost their child that they still have a lot of time to create another small miracle. They should not give hope that time will subsequently heal all wounds, because it is at this moment that it seems to them that life will no longer be the same as always. This is precisely the greatest truth of life - everyone understands that life without a loved one will no longer be the same as before his death. Everyone who is now crying at a funeral has just lost their little piece of their soul. A woman who has lost her husband should not be told that she is a real goddess and will definitely not be on her own in this life. Condolences for the death of mom or dad should also not contain calls for future peace and consolation. Let the person grieve the loss and don't talk about future prospects. Any words about the future will be superfluous, since no one believes in it now and will not see the picture you paint.

Seventh rule: Don’t say that everything will pass. Don't say that you shouldn't cry and grieve.

Most people who say these things have never lost a loved one. Just yesterday a person kissed in bed and drank morning dark tea with his beloved, and in the evening she may no longer be in this world. Just yesterday children quarreled with their parents, but tomorrow they may not be there. Just yesterday there was a party with friends, and tomorrow one of them may be taken away by the sky. And the understanding that you can’t bring your loved one back is the worst thing that can happen in this life. Therefore, there is no need to say that crying will not help here. There is no need to say that you shouldn’t grieve and “destroy” yourself morally so much. There is no need to play the role of a psychologist and delve into the psychological state of a person in grief. The first person who says that there is no point in crying only proves that he does not understand the mourner. There is no way to bypass serious stress - just let a person cry who cannot understand why he has now lost the meaning of his life.

Eighth rule - Forget about empty words, among which the most popular phrase is “Everything will be fine”!

Don't make promises you can't keep. Do not talk about optimistic plans for a person, because he will not perceive it the way you want to present it. A person does not want to hear platitudes and excuses that are so formal that they have become traditional. It is better to help with deeds, rather than saying traditional phrases from films where the main characters are often buried.

Ninth rule - Don't be shy about your feelings!

You came to a funeral, not a holiday. Therefore, be prepared that you will want to hug the relatives of the deceased even when you do not know them at all. In grief, everyone is the same. Don’t be shy about feelings that can cover you in a big wave. Do you want a hug? Hug! Would you like a handshake or a touch on the shoulder? Do it! Did a tear roll down your cheek? Don't turn away. Swipe it away. May you be one of those who came to this funeral for a reason. You have come to a loved one who deserves this.

The main conclusion that can be drawn, taking these rules into account, is that you should avoid cliched words of condolences to the relatives of the deceased and actions that will not bring any benefit. Tactless phrases will not do any good. There are words that will only once again cause misunderstandings on the other side, not to mention possible aggression, insult or even disappointment. Perhaps you were a close person to the deceased, and now you are not behaving as his family expects. You must enter the state of shock in which the person is now. Put yourself in the place of the grieving person and then you will understand how to behave correctly. Do not forget that everything you say may not be perceived as it sounds in your mouth. The psychological burden on those who lose a loved one is incredibly large and this is the decisive moment.

What can you offer a grieving person at a funeral?

Ask how you can help. Perhaps the matter will not be in the material dimension at all, although money in this case is never superfluous. The family of the deceased may entrust you to go to the priest or simply agree on the purchase and transportation of the coffin. A small favor to the family, which is now in a difficult state, will not be superfluous. Indeed, at this moment, none of the deceased’s relatives can adequately assess the situation and their thoughts are not at all about the problematic aspects of organizing a funeral. Have you heard that even after a murder, friends of the deceased say that they must first bury him with honors, and only then look for the killer? The point is that the etiquette of expressing condolences is very interconnected with funerals. Do your best to make sure this funeral goes well, because every person deserves to pass away with the respect of others.

Offer your help in any way. Help will be received well in any case, and even if you are refused, they will still be pleased. Even ordering memorial cards for invitations to funerals or helping to accommodate guests from distant cities in your home would be a wonderful service. Just don’t talk about everything in such a tone as if you are offering just for the sake of simply offering. Offer specific help and receive real gratitude.

Be concise, like King Leonidas when he addresses the Spartans!

Words of condolences should be kept short. No one should speak for long because funerals are not the place for great speakers. Leave thousands of words to the priest who will perform the funeral service for the deceased. Keep it short and say exactly what you think. You should also not speak for a long time at a wake, since too heavy phrases cause distraction and lose their meaning. Don't be afraid to experiment in front of the mirror with a few phrases that you have prepared for yourself. Warm and sincere words are usually very short, like a declaration of love. Love needs no words, and the deceased is worth only a few sincere sentences. Do not forget that it is easy to feel false condolences, since at such times the relatives and friends of the deceased can boast of an increased sense of sincerity and falseness. Kind words can heal the soul and heart of those who are hurt or heartbroken.

What should those who had a conflict with the deceased do? How to behave and do the relatives and friends of the deceased need condolences from such a person?

Find the strength within yourself to forgive the one who was carried away by the sky. After all, death is the end point of all grievances. If you have done something wrong to the deceased, come and pay tribute. Ask for forgiveness in prayer, even if you are not sure you will receive it. Speak sincerely and the relatives of the deceased will accept it with honor. Leave negativity and unnecessary emotions at home. Do not forget that all grievances die with the person. Do you really regret your fault or just respect your competitor in some way? Come and show his loved ones that he was such a respected person that even his enemies came to honor his memory. Do you have a grudge against the deceased? Forgive and let go. Show this to his loved ones and they will be glad once again that you have forgiven.

Be original!

It's always better to come up with a few good phrases that are your own to say to the loved ones of the deceased. By coming up with these words, you can remember something from a person’s past. Perhaps you know something about him that others will not say. Perhaps you know something that your loved ones don’t know. Or perhaps your friend rarely told his parents that he loved them, but in fact always noted to his friends that he had the best parents in the world? Why don't you sympathize and remember this? Remember something interesting. Say something truly valuable to everyone.

What should you talk about during condolences?

Say that the person was not just good. Say that it is difficult to find words. Let everyone know that the deceased deserves more words than can be said now. Tell him he was talented. Good. Give examples that will confirm your words. Set him as an example to many present. Say that you loved the deceased person. Let everyone know he will be missed. Say that this is a tragedy for you. Tell us about what you are grateful for to the deceased and what exactly he did for you. Tell those present that the role of the deceased in your life was great or, on the contrary, not so great, but despite this the world has lost one of the best representatives of humanity. Take breaks. Allow yourself to choose your words. Let everyone see that it is really difficult for you to pick them up. Tell the truth!

Will so-called religious condolences always be appropriate?

Religious rhetoric will not always be helpful, since the deceased could be an atheist or profess a different faith. You should not use phrases taken from the Bible in all cases, because this may not please many who come. Make sure you can afford it. Only in this case can you turn your words about the deceased into quotes from the Bible and supplement them with sincere sympathy. Moreover, the deceased could be an agnostic, like the people grieving behind him. In this case, you should also not speak in religious phrases.

Is someone who has lost a loved one really a believer? Then you can correctly select phrases from the church sphere, having first studied all religious epitaphs more deeply. They can push you onto the right path and thoughts. Just don’t forget that there shouldn’t be too much religiosity. In this case, measures are needed more than ever.

Despite this, religious themes in condolences will not always be a good option and it is not without reason that most people ignore them. It is better not to use biblical phrases, but to say in your own words what is in your soul right now.

Is it worth expressing condolences in the form of poetry?

Not at a funeral. Even if the mourner loves poetry, a funeral is far from the time to pay tribute to rhyme. Why so categorical? Funeral home experts know thousands of cases where such verses were too inappropriate, and there is one small reason for this. Condolence verses for death are always perceived differently by people. 2 people can explain one line of verse in different ways. One phrase can have different meanings depending on the poetry of the person listening. This is exactly the case when poems of grief and condolences are extremely common and popular, and an obituary in poetic form poses a real risk of remaining misunderstood.

Is it worth writing an SMS with condolences?

Never write SMS in any form if we are talking about a service that gives you the opportunity to send a short message. Can't meet in person? It’s better to call yourself and don’t express sympathy in this way. After all, you don’t know at what exact moment this message may arrive, and its too short format makes the words too laconic. It will convey facts, not feelings. The person will not feel your voice. His timbre. Its emotional coloring. Moreover, messages in such cases are perceived poorly. Was it really difficult to call if you still found a minute to write a message? Perhaps you didn’t want to talk at all, but wrote a message just to forget about it once and for all and not feel guilty?

Let your condolences be sincere! These words are so necessary for those who have lost a loved one. They will be grateful to you!

Here is a collection of short condolences and words of grief that need to be expressed to the family and friends of the deceased person. The texts are suitable for being included in public, spoken in private, or sent in the form of a short letter. They are also suitable for colleagues, friends and other people familiar with the deceased. All texts are written not in verse (in prose), for those who want to express regret in their own words. You will find recommendations at the end of the page.

All names and surnames in the texts are used only for convenience of presentation, do not forget to change them to the ones you need.

My condolences to you and your family. Your mother was a wonderful, wonderful person and you will miss her. I wish you to find peace and consolation... We will pray for you.

Friends, we sympathize with your loss and mourn with you. There are no words that will bring your loved one back to you, but perhaps life itself will help you survive the loss. We will pray that the Lord will give you patience and strength. Your dad lived well, for a long time, accomplished a lot, realized himself and left behind many people grateful to him. He will forever live in their hearts just as he does in yours. May his memory be blessed.

Friends, today is a day of deep sadness. There was a time when we rejoiced and had fun with the one who left us. But today we mourn with you, seeing off a person close and dear to us on their last journey. But we will keep in our hearts the good memory of our friend.

I knew him as an amazingly sympathetic, intelligent person and an extraordinary person. He helped not only me, but also served as a guide and support for many other people on the path of life. May you be at least a little consoled by the fact that today many are grieving with you who were also left without this ray of light in their lives. You are not alone in this difficult time. We mourn with you.

Let me offer you my deepest condolences. I am terribly saddened by the death of your mother. She was a smart, kind and sensitive person, and many people, like me, feel that the world is a darker place without her. I have no words to ease your pain. I'm just sure that your mother wouldn't want you to be so sad.

Please accept the feelings of our deep empathy in connection with the passing of your closest, dearest person, your faithful companion in life. Great loss and great sorrow. Be strong, our dears, we are always with you.

Together with you, we will forever cherish the memory of her in our hearts. She was an amazingly pure, honest, open person, and this earned her the love, appreciation, gratitude and respect of many people. Your mother is the best of people. We will forever keep her memory in our hearts. Hang in there and accept our deepest sympathy for such a bereavement.

Dear Tatyana!

Please accept our condolences on the death of your father! Words are powerless in such grief... Know that in this difficult time your colleagues, friends and like-minded people are with you.

Dear Svetlana and Sidor!

We deeply regret the death of your dear grandmother. She was kind, sympathetic and a good woman. We will all miss her greatly. Please accept our sincere condolences. If there is anything we can do for you, we are ready to help in any way. We are praying for you.

We suffered this heavy loss together with you today and mourn with you. Strength and patience to you to get through this difficult time of loss. Remember, everyone loses a loved one one day, this pain must be endured. Sometimes the cross becomes very heavy, but it will help one day. Be patient, it will get easier after a while. Our condolences.

I sympathize with your misfortune on this sad day. Our life, unfortunately, is not eternal and no words of consolation will help relieve the pain of loss or bring back the departed. I wish you strength of spirit in this difficult time. May the earth be soft rest to him (the deceased). And may the Lord protect you from all troubles.

Your dad was one of the most wonderful and wonderful people I have ever met. I was very lucky to have known him. And now I will miss him greatly, just like you. I express my deepest condolences to you and your family.

Let me offer you my deepest condolences on the death of your colleague and dear friend Kharitonov Khariton. We deeply empathize and share your pain.

It’s hard for us, but especially for you, and we know about it. He was your closest friend, it's a huge loss. Your friend was an excellent comrade for us too, reliable, loyal, simple and always fair. Please contact us at any time with any requests, we will be there for you. Let's stick together during this difficult time.

Please accept my condolences on the death of your dear, close and beloved person - your mother. Having gone to heaven, she will not cease to be your guardian angel.

He meant a lot to you and to me. I mourn with you.

We express our sincere condolences to the family and friends in connection with the untimely death of Sidor Sidorovich Sidorov. The death of a loved one is a great grief and a difficult test. Bright memories of a person who lived his life honestly and with dignity, leaving behind the fruits of his good deeds, will always be stronger than death.

With sincere sympathy, the team of Peace to Your Home LLC

We share with you the bitterness of loss. Your father was a wonderful man. His dedication to his work earned him the respect and love of all who knew him. Please accept our sincere condolences.

I mourn with you and express my deepest condolences to all your family, my friend.

Our condolences to you. He was our colleague, friend and brilliant professional, without whom our entire team would have a hard time. We are experiencing this difficult loss together with you. He will serve as a light and guide for us on our professional path. May his memory be blessed.

I offer you and your family my most sincere condolences. Be strong. May God rest her soul...

Please accept my sincere condolences on the death of your uncle. And please feel free to ask for any help.

Losing a father is a difficult loss. Be strong. He was my close friend and often told me that he tried to raise you wise and strong, and would not want you to lose ground even when he leaves you forever. And also, he wanted you to be able to survive losses and not forget how to smile after them. Therefore, I wish you strength and patience to get through this sorrowful time and move on again.

My condolences. The death of a spouse deprives us of our main support and our partner in life. It is very difficult to find words of consolation. Hang in there.

Dear friend. Losing a mother is the most difficult loss. This pain is hard to cope with and it is impossible for me to find words that will reduce your pain. I will just be there in your grief, contact me at any moment on any issue. And just wait. Time should help at least a little.

Please accept our sincere condolences. May the Lord reward her in heaven for all the good she has done. She is and will forever remain in our hearts...

Today you lost your mother - a reliable guardian angel in life. This is a terrible loss. And I lost my best friend and support in her. I mourn with you. Your mother often told me how much she loves it when you smile. I’m sure she sees us now and is very sad that you are so sad. May the Lord give you strength to survive such a loss and return you to the joy of life. They say he gives difficult trials along with the strength to survive them. Be patient.

Please accept my sympathy. It has never been more expensive or closer, and probably never will be. But in yours and in our hearts he will remain a young, strong, intelligent, kind and cheerful person. Eternal memory to him. Hold on.

This tragedy affected everyone who knew her. Of course, it’s harder for you than everyone else. I want to assure you that I will never leave you without support. And I will never forget her. Please, let's walk this path together.

This is a difficult time in your life. Let our sympathy and support help you and reduce the pain of loss at least a little.

It is difficult to express in words how much good he did to me. All our disputes and disagreements are trifles. And I will carry the good he did throughout my life. I pray for him and grieve with you.

My condolences to you, this is a huge loss and grief. Remember that a person dies, but love does not. And her memory will always illuminate our hearts. Be strong.

Unfortunately, in our imperfect world we have to experience such grief. She was a bright person whom we loved. I will not leave you in your grief. You can count on me at any moment.

Words cannot express how we feel together with you. It’s hard when you lose loved ones, but the death of a mother is a grief for which there is no cure or words of consolation. Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss.

I would like to find words to relieve you of pain or at least reduce it a little. But it is difficult to imagine what words these should be and whether such words exist at all. Bright and eternal memory.

I share with you the inconsolable pain of the bereavement that befell you - the death of your beloved grandfather.

May the Lord bless and comfort you and your family during this difficult time of grief. Please accept our sincere condolences.

The death of a beloved wife is a bitter loss. It’s difficult for me to express in words, but I am always with you. I will support you and help you get through it. Be strong.

Please accept our heartfelt condolences on the death of your son. We ask the Almighty to grant you the strength to hold on, patience, perseverance and faith.

The loss of a loved one is a huge grief and test. I sincerely share your pain. Please accept my sincere sympathy and support. May God rest his soul.

It is very sad to lose your loved ones and relatives. It’s doubly worse when the young, healthy, and strong leave us. Lord help his soul.

I'm sorry that she didn't live as long as she would have liked. I mourn with you, empathize, remember and love.

I share your grief of loss. You need to find the strength to survive these most difficult moments and difficult days. He remains in our memory forever.

Lord give you strength, patience and faith, dear friend. Survive it all.

We are deeply saddened by the news of your father's death. He was a fair and strong man, a loyal and sympathetic friend. We knew him well and loved him like our own. We mourn with you.

It is difficult to find the right words in this difficult moment. I mourn with you. Let the fact that few are lucky enough to experience such a huge and pure love as yours will ease your pain at least a little. But let him remain alive in your memory, full of love and strength. May he rest in peace.

I'm just devastated by the loss. It's unbearable to think about it. It's hard to express in words how much I sympathize with you. My heart is broken along with yours. Be strong.

I cannot say any words of sympathy now, because no one is experiencing your grief the same way as you. You just need time... be patient, it will gradually reduce the pain.

Unfortunately, I only now realized how unworthy my arguments and quarrels were with this bright and dear person to me. Excuse me! I mourn with you.

A person who leaves this earth does not really go anywhere because he still continues to live in our hearts and minds. Please accept our condolences and know that he will not be forgotten.

I offer you and your family my most sincere condolences. It’s very difficult, even when you prepare for it, at the last moment you find yourself unprepared. May God rest his soul... and you, hold on. Time will help you...

Please accept my sincere condolences. A terrible, insidious disease that they have never learned how to defeat...

Her path on earth was not easy and full of difficulties, may God take her under his wing and reward her with what she rightfully deserves.

A new star has risen in the sky - it is his soul that has acquired a new meaning and a new purpose...

It's small consolation, but know that we are with you in your grief and our hearts go out to your entire family. Eternal memory to your sister.

Your father was a very resilient, joyful and optimistic person. His wisdom will remain in my memory forever; it will be difficult for me without him. But it’s more difficult for you. Losing your dad is like losing your footing. There are hardly any words that will ease the pain. Try to remember your father's resilience and be the same, he would really like it. I will ask higher powers to protect you from all troubles and for you to find consolation. I'm grieving.

The administration team of the Central District of the Troyekurovsky Village Council deeply mourns the irreparable bereavement - the death of the acting head of the village, Isaak Kharitonovich Tiranozavrov. We express our sincere condolences to family and friends, share their grief, and support them in their hours of grief.

Be strong! With the loss of your brother, you need to become a support for your parents for both of them. May God help you get through these difficult days. Happy memory to a bright man.

Dear Sidor Sidorovich, Tatyana Appolinarievna and Oscar Platonovich!

On behalf of the board of the open joint-stock company “Kuzkina Mother” and on my own behalf, I express my deep condolences and sincere sympathy with the grief that befell you - the untimely death of your father and brother Zakhar Apollonovich Sidorov.

At this difficult time for you, your family and friends, I share your grief and the bitterness of irreparable loss.

Be strong. The Almighty called him to himself - he takes the best. I mourn with you.

My condolences to you. Losing your grandmother is like losing a piece of sunshine in your soul. I will always cherish her memory in my heart. I pray that God will give you warmth and light in your heart that will help you cope with the pain of loss and find comfort. Peace to her soul, and peace to your heart.

We greatly mourn the death of our dear brother and from the bottom of our hearts we express our sincere sympathy and condolences to his dear wife and all his family and friends. We pray for God's support for all of you, dear ones.

We believe that by God's will we will meet brother Sidor in the future paradise that the Lord has prepared for all who love Him (Revelation 2:7)

Please accept my sincere sympathy for your grief. Losing a friend is like losing one wing. After this it is difficult to fly. I pray to the Lord to help you cope and teach you to live with this loss. Strength, wisdom, goodness to you. Eternal memory to him.

I sincerely sympathize with your grief. But remember, losing your mother does not mean losing her love and warmth. Let them always warm you, and you remember her and all the bright things that she left for you after herself. I know she would really like this.

May God give you strength to overcome such a difficult loss. I mourn with you. Now it seems to you that no one needs our dead except us, but this is not so. Look around, if they are so unnecessary, then what are we constantly doing at their graves? Why do we visit them, talk, ask for advice and help? And we always get what we ask for. Even after they left us forever... Be patient, it will become easier. And remember - he stopped being there, but did not leave you. You will see.

Reading condolences in verse is considered not entirely appropriate in these circumstances; try to avoid them;
You should only offer words of regret when it is appropriate. Do not impose them or harass mourners to fulfill a formality. Do this sincerely, with warmth, at the right moment and do not go overboard with emotional words addressed to the deceased if you did not know him (otherwise the words will sound hypocritical, it’s better not to say anything at all, not to irritate your loved ones - it’s already difficult for them);
If the opportunity to express grief does not present itself, you can format any of these texts in the form of a short letter and send it to your loved ones. This will give them the opportunity to read them when it is convenient, rather than listening to your sorrows when it is convenient for you.
Words of condolences are usually formal words... standard, short and similar to each other. You can make them warmer, more cordial and more personal through intonation and reminders (briefly) of episodes, small details that connected you with the deceased and gave rise to a warm attitude towards him.
Do not impose advice and edifications to help you survive the pain of loss. This irritates loved ones. They (advice) should be given only when you are absolutely sure and see that they are needed or they are guaranteed to be necessary and can help. It's even better if you don't talk, but do something to alleviate the situation. Since any advice most likely will not be perceived correctly, it will remain just an irritant.